A few years ago, the memoirist Donald Miller was approached to turn his book Blue Like Jazz into a movie. (Have you seen it yet, by the way? I heard it's pretty good.) As he started to work with the producers to turn his book, which is essentially the story of his life, into a movie, he was surprised when they said they'd have to cut sections because it wasn't interesting.
His life wasn't interesting? His life wouldn't make a good story?
Photo by Steven Depolo
He made a decision. He needed learn how to live a better story.
His fifth book, Million Miles in a Thousand Years, chronicles his adventures in living a better story.
What kind of story are you living with your life? What kind of story are you telling your spouse, your children, your grandchildren? And how can you help the people you love live a better story?
That's what the book is about, and it's so good.
Live a Better Story
If I had to choose between being a great writer and living a great life, I would choose to live a great life. Of course, I believe if you live a great life, you'll be a better writer. But even if that weren't true, it's more important to me to live a great story than to write one.
The world of the imagination should enhance life, not provide an escape for it, and a writer's job, I think, is to help people live better stories.
You are the protagonist of your story, and there are things you can do to live a better story. As writers, we know them really well. Here are a few:
1. Protagonists desire greatness.
Miller says:
If you watched a movie about a guy who wanted a Volvo and worked for years to get it, you wouldn’t cry at the end when he drove off the lot, testing the windshield wipers.
Protagonists don't want mediocre German cars, nice houses in nice neighborhoods, a good school system for their kids, and another step up the corporate ladder. Protagonists want greatness. They want to defeat evil, find their soulmate, and save the world.
What do you want? Is it great enough?
2. Protagonists make a decision.
A hero isn't a hero unless they make a decision. In the face of the inciting incident, they have to decide to embrace their story or escape it. A character who idly watches their life go by is not a protagonist. He or she is a background character.
Are you idly watching your story pass you by? What decisions do you need to make?
3. Protagonists face their fears (whether they want to or not).
Miller says:
The most often repeated commandment in the Bible is ‘Do not fear.' It's in there over two hundred times. That means a couple of things, if you think about it. It means we are going to be afraid, and it means we shouldn't let fear boss us around.
Are you facing your fear or are you letting fear make you live a boring story?
4. Protagonists die.
Miller says:
It wasn't necessary to win for the story to be great, it was only necessary to sacrifice everything.
Are you willing to sacrifice for your story? Is your story worthwhile enough to give up everything?
5. Protagonists experience meaning.
Miller says:
We live in a world where bad stories are told, stories that teach us life doesn't mean anything and that humanity has no great purpose. It's a good calling, then, to speak a better story.
If you want to live a life filled with meaning, you need to live a great story.
Learn From Donald Miller
If you want to live a better story, Donald Miller has created the Storyline Conference to help. Storyline walks you through the elements of story, and helps you shape your life to create a better one. So not only will it be good for people who want to live better stories, it will also teach you more about storytelling and writing at the same time.
The next Storyline conference is in Santa Barbara (my home town!) on June 8-9. Use the code WRITEPRACTICE for $50 off. And if you want to come, let me know. I'll be there and I'd love to see you!
PRACTICE
This is a weird practice, today. Rather than writing something, do something great today.
Follow the steps to live a good story above. Tell us what you did in the comments.
I’m excited you are going. Let me know what you learn. I need the help.
This is a great book from D. MILLER. For those of you who don’t know J.Bunting personally,he practices what he writes. In fact, because I watched Joe make the sacrifices for greatness, I can attest to him living a great story now. I’m his best friend.
A wise and great advice! Thanks for a worthwhile and life-changing post.
I’m so jealous! I’d love to go to a Storyline conference. It should be great!
You should come, Tom! Santa Barbara’s not very far from Missouri, right?
loved the article and the concept! Thanks Joe!!
loved the article and the concept! Thanks Joe!!
Desire greatness. Face fears. Somehow, these two are related. Once you dream big, you become afraid of getting shattered in the end when you don’t achieve your dream. So you have to learn first not to be afraid.
I should start doing this everyday. I tend to become pessimistic about a lot of things and it’s high time I get back to the right track.
Thanks Joe! 😉 reading this blog has always been helpful, when in comes to writing and life. 🙂
Ahh, I hate reading things like this because it makes my life seem so small. I totally agree that living a great life is something to strive for. But really, is it so bad to want a volvo (or say a Subaru:)? I guess wanting these simply thing is not bad, but they should not be all you strive for, they should be a part of it.
The book sounds interesting.
I got out my pom-poms and cheered this post! I’m embarrassed sometimes by my thirst for greatness but I’m learning not to notice if people think I’m odd or not! I believe that desire was put there by God for a purpose; I find it hard to believe he created us for the purpose of living in mediocrity.
Today I put my young friend on a plane and said goodby after a long weekend of celebrating her birthday, and more importantly of her being in my life. I began mentoring her four years ago after she lost her mom to cancer, elven years her senior it seemed a natural thing to do. I didn’t know her well at the time but I could only imagine what it would be like to be motherless at 20. I asked her to have coffee with me that Tuesday and asked her if she needed to talk. She did, and hasn’t stopped talking for four years. It’s odd being the mother figure in the life of a young woman in her twenties, and it’s hard, but it’s worthwhile and I know it makes a difference to her. I know it was God that prompted me to see her need and step up. She and I are better because of it.
That’s wonderful Beck.
I do and then I write.
I spent 54 minutes with an old lady today (I counted them – they were slow minutes) every three minutes she commented on the weather, the same comment, the same weather.
I have a friend who drinks too much and picks up random old guys in bars and always has a tale to tell and many have been fictionalised by me.
I don’t want to be either of these people.
I don’t want to sit in a chair flapping away flies until one day I can no longer be bothered to lift my hand to swat it away.
I want to live
I want to be alive
and I am
thanks be to the Lord who changed my life dramatically and continues to do so.
Even when the “practice” isn’t meant to be written, I’m still finding it useful for my WIP. I just went back and looked at my character’s life using Miller’s questions. And yes, there’s a lot more editing to do to make him “shine”. Thanx Joe
I’m not sure I agree with the premise of this post. I’m already an interesting person. I just need to learn how to think better, imagine better, and write better.
Then you are already living a great story.
Motherhood.
Amen!
Ha very true.
i DONT live a great life and honestly i dont care! this post would have made me quite depressed if it didn’t make me so annoyed first! i want to be a writer and who says writers cant live great lives? they dont HAVE to be holed up at home all the time. and who’s definition of great it this, anyway? i AM going to do important things in my life (help people, make their lives better, volunteer, etc) and i dont care if movie directors think its easy. movies are MOVIES and not real life. real life is NEVER interesting enough to be a movie. (ok never is an exaggeration. thats why there are 100s of movies made for every 7 billion people living on earth. because LIFE. ISN’T. INTERESTING. It’s life!) Sorry to rant…….but i just meant to make a point. or my point. opinion. same thing. so, i encourage you to all go live great lives and hope that they make a movie out of it, otherwise you would have wasted valuable writing time. good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂
Great post, Joe,mand in perfect timing for me personally. I’ve been through a “soul searching” journey lately, and I am looking to live a life worth living and make a difference in other people’s lives.
And thanks for recommending Million miles in a thousand years. I’ve bought it but still haven”t read it. I’ll do that.
God bless you!
You should, Chris. It’s so great.
Wow. Donald Miller almost has it right. His story elements — desire, commitment, and especially DYING and MEANING — they aren’t often spoken of. Mostly it’s story nuts and bolts. So I’m excited to see us talking about these “mystical” story essentials. But… (yikes…I hesitate to say I see something that he doesn’t, but I think I do)… consider this:
Protagonists often start off wanting a Volvo (or other cheap goal)…it gets them out of the house… and their determination takes them to the outer limits of their stamina… where they DIE to all that nonsense! And that’s where the hero — having lost all — adopts a higher goal. This is where greatness comes in. It’s not something a protagonist starts off with. It’s a reward for having the courage to face the horror of seeing how pointless our life has been.
Okay. Enough. Is anyone with me here?
I live for this kind of discussion. I wish Donald Miller would chime in. Donald, are you out there?
I like that, PJ. I’m sure Don would agree with you, but I don’t have the book to check right now 🙂
I like this a lot. It is the spiritual journey story that doesn’t have to end with boy gets girl, guy gets porche. It isn’t the only path that can make a story great but it is my favorite and I think, the most moving and helpful to the reader….and maybe the writer as well. Very good insight.
I’ll be there, too, Joe. Looking forward to it.
I was hoping you’d be coming, Diana. I’m exciting to see you.
For me there is no other way to be, than to live the life. As I live my life, I experience my life, as I experience my life, I deeply consider the lessons, then I express it in the only way I am able to now, in my writing. Pure, with emotion, with passion, desiring to grasp the heart of the one who beholds it. I will never drum up a part of my life that is not real, it all is real, it all is found to have purpose, no matter the outcome, and when it comes to sharing it with the world, well, the return has been a blessing that could not have come at a better time in my journey.
Today I ignored all my pusillanimous thoughts about going jogging again for approximately the fifteenth straight day, it’s raining, I’m not up to it, what if I fall over dead with a heart attack, etc. And went out and went the wet distance. I who have never been athletic, who found Physical Education in school an absolute nightmare and was often teased for my skinnyness, slowness and lack of coordination — I am building a thing. At least that’s what I think and hope — I am building something in myself. It will not happen in a month or two, it may take a couple of years or more — but I am going to be stronger and have more physical stamina than ever before in my life. The smoking, the drinking, the drugs and other stupid stuff are gone — for good this time — and I AM BUILDING A THING. To me, THAT adds up to telling a better story with my life. Thank you for this post, Joe!
Go get’em, Jmfthrd!
I had to look up pusillanimous. What a word. I think you’ve got an attitude that will take you a long way. That is probably the way to tackle writing too. Good post!
That is by far the best article I’ve ever read on Write Practice. Thanks! 😀
Thank you so much for this much needed post. You’re the best.