Last night, I came to the realization that I don't want to do what I'm doing anymore. I don't want to be a writer anymore. I don't want to write books. I don't want to write this blog.
I want to quit writing.
Have You Ever Wanted to Quit Writing?
Can you relate? If you've been writing for very long, I bet that you can.
Writing: somewhere between torture and fun. (tweet this)
Blake, one of my writing students is writing a book, and as he finished the first chapter he told me that writing, to him, was somewhere between torture and fun.
“Just wait until you're halfway through your book,” I said. “It will start to feel more like torture and less like fun.”
We laughed at the time, but just now, I'm about halfway through writing my next book and each word is torture.
I'm listening to Bracket, WI over and over again because it makes me feel sad and sorry for myself.
I click over to Facebook and check my blog stats to pep myself up, but they only put off the growing frustration.
It was a noble goal, to create something from nothing. Creatio ex nihilo. But now, I feel humiliated by the process.
I quit. I don't want to be a writer anymore. Not if it makes me feel this stupid every day. I'm done. That's it.
Wanting to Quit Writing is Inevitable
The last time I felt this way, I was two weeks in and halfway through writing a short story. I got up from the computer frustrated and walked around my neighborhood half a dozen times. Then, I went back to my desk, sat down, and did my best to write again.
In two days, the story was finished.
The first time I remember feeling this way was when I was ghostwriting my first book. I remember sitting on the floor of my crappy apartment and putting my head in my hands. It's embarrassing to admit, but I think I even cried a little.
“I don't want to write this book anymore,” I thought. “In fact, I don't want to be a writer anymore. I don't want to ever feel this stupid again.”
A month later the book was finished.
Don't Quit Writing in the Ugly Middle
I learned that this frustrated, hopeless, confused feeling of wanting to quit is a sign. When things are hardest, when you most want to quit, you know that you're about to have a breakthrough.
In other words, wanting to quit is a good thing.
Wanting to quit tells you that you're almost there, that if you keep pressing all that confusion and frustration and pain will be resolved.
Don't quit now. You're almost there.
I'm Not Going to Quit Writing
I want to quit but I won't. Instead, I have more hope now than I did yesterday when I was only mildly frustrated. Now that I'm truly miserable I take it as a good sign.
How about you?
Are you going to quit when it's tough, when the words won't come and you're sure that everything you're writing is crap?
Or are you going to acknowledge the pain and choose to see it as a good sign?
How about you? Have you ever felt so frustrated with your writing that you've wanted to quit? Share in the comments section.
PRACTICE
Open up your work in progress or create a new, blank document. Acknowledge your pain as you bring something new into the world. For a few minutes, sit in the pain. Don't try to escape it or avoid it.
Then, set your timer and start writing. Write for fifteen minutes. When you're finished, share your practice in the comments section. And if you share, please be sure to leave some feedback for your fellow writers.
Have fun!
I think this resonates with me so much. Especially lately. I have thought – “Why am I doing this to myself? This is SO constant. This never leaves me alone. Things would feel so much easier if I just didn’t want to write.” That want – like a curse, sometimes – never leaves me alone, although many many days I wish I did. Those are the days I go to bed feeling guilty because I didn’t write all day. Or the days where I spend about two hours with my pen hovered over my notebook stumped over how the story should continue. The good days make it better. Thank God for the good days.
Thank God, indeed.
Yes! Sometimes I write just so that I won’t feel guilty for not writing! So often I get so discouraged too, but then there are the good days. The days when the story comes to life and words become melodies and my heart rises so high that it just might burst. It’s those good days that we need to remember. 🙂
I can empathize with the feeling of quitting as I am more than half way through my wip, over 200 pages. My critique group has been supportive of my brain drain, but suggest I learn to write more teen lingo as I am exploring the life of a 17 year old.
Sometimes I think I get it but other times, I am in despair that I will ever communicate in a succinct manner of a young girl with choices that impact her future. I’ll keep on writing in hopes of achieving a definite stamp of YA on my wip.
Yep, I can think of about a hundred things I need to do better for my book. Thanks!
I feel like I struggle with quitting writing every few weeks or so. There were moments when I would not write for months. I could fill in the blank with some excuse not to write. But then, I get back into it.
There are four things that that prompt me quitting writing. One, the feeling that I entered the wrong profession. Two, comparing myself to others. Three, fear of the harsh realities of writing: criticism, rejection, the unknown. And four, lack of life experience.
Despite these fears and misplaced expectations, I convince myself that it is worth it. I remember I am not alone; that everyone shares the same fears, that these fears are nothing new. I remember quotes from Hemingway, King, and Elizabeth Gilbert. They help get me by and press on. And I have the support of my family as well as the community of writing friends I have made through social media.
So as much As I fear the unknown, I remember that I am blessed to have this talent, and I need to let it out.
This is great. Thanks for listing out these four things. I definitely struggle with all four!
I was so happy to read this. It happens to me all the time, and now I know I am not alone. And yes, sometimes, after reading something I wrote, it makes it all okay.Thank you Joe!
Good point, Beca! Glad to know I’M not alone either. 🙂
Loved this one Joe!
I have this feeling at least once a day, I swear. But I just keep going, because there are really euphoric moments that I like, and even if I didn’t publish or write for an audience, I’d still be writing.
Thanks Katie! Yep, me too!
This post is my entire life. Thanks for the motivation!
You bet, Liz!
Great, informative article, Joe! I remember feeling this way when I was writing my first novel. At the time I belonged to a writing group. I considered myself the weakest writer because I was my own worst enemy struggling with using correct tenses, establishing setting, and characterization. I was ready to call it quits several hours before my writing group met that evening. I shared my frustrations with one of my best friends, who also belonged to the group. She encouraged me to not do so because she loved the chapter I submitted for discussion. Turns out that the other members felt the same way and the positive feedback I received was so encouraging. Yes, indeed.
We are our own worst critics!
Love this, Bill. How has it been since then?
This article is right on the mark, Joe. Tell me, where do I post my practice so that I can get feedback? Inquiring minds want to know.
Right here in the comments, Ronn! 🙂
PEACTICE
My Recent Road Trip
We left Los Angeles around 10:00 a.m. exactly one year ago today. Chicago was our destination, and I was excited. I had always wanted to visit The Windy City, but now I was moving there with my fiancee, a native Chicagoan whom I had met in Los Angeles.
We mapped out the Southern route, going through Arizona, New Mexico, north Texas, a portion of the Oklahoma Panhandle, up through Saint Louis, and into Illinois. We stopped overnight in Kingman, AZ the first night; Flagstaff, Az the second night; and Tulsa, OK the third night. From there we drove the rest of the way and arrived in Chicago three days later.
Three things made this trip so special. There was the the beautiful scenery along the way; the pleasant weather we encountered all the way to Chicago; sharing the drive with the love of my life; and knowing that we would eventually be married in Chi Town. It didn’t get any better than that.
Seven years earlier, I had taken a solo road trip to Houston to visit my parents. The route along Interstate 10 from Los Angeles was long, flat, tiring, and not very scenic. It seemed like I would never arrive, although I listened to my music CDs while driving. But having a driving companion made all the difference in the world on my Chicago trip. And for that, as well as for her, I remain extremely grateful.
Upon arriving in Chicago, we were grateful to rest and take it easy for a few days. No matter how pleasant, road trips can be exhausting, especially since I did all the driving. From this point forward, however, I prefer to fly and rent a car at our destination. Still, the memories of this road trip will last forever, as will my joy at sharing this experience with the woman of my dreams.
PRACTICE
My Recent Road Trip
We left Los Angeles around 10:00 a.m. exactly one year ago today. Chicago was our destination, and I was excited. I had always wanted to visit The Windy City, but now I was moving there with my fiancee, a native Chicagoan whom I had met in Los Angeles.
We mapped out the Southern route, going through Arizona, New Mexico, north Texas, a portion of the Oklahoma Panhandle, up through Saint Louis, and into Illinois. We stopped overnight in Kingman, AZ the first night; Flagstaff, Az the second night; and Tulsa, OK the third night. From there we drove the rest of the way and arrived in Chicago three days later.
Three things made this trip so special. There was the the beautiful scenery along the way; the pleasant weather we encountered all the way to Chicago; sharing the drive with the love of my life; and knowing that we would eventually be married in Chi Town. It didn’t get any better than that.
Seven years earlier, I had taken a solo road trip to Houston to visit my parents. The route along Interstate 10 from Los Angeles was long, flat, tiring, and not very scenic. It seemed like I would never arrive, although I listened to my music CDs while driving. But having a driving companion made all the difference in the world on my Chicago trip. And for that, as well as for her, I remain extremely grateful.
Upon arriving in Chicago, we were grateful to rest and take it easy for a few days. No matter how pleasant, road trips can be exhausting, especially since I did all the driving. From this point forward, however, I prefer to fly and rent a car at our destination. Still, the memories of this road trip will last forever, as will my joy at sharing this experience with the woman of my dreams.
Post right here Ronn…. We’re waiting to read it.
Joe, I’ve wanted to quit more times than I can count. However, after walking away for a few days, the inspiration comes back. Why? Because I am a writer. I’ve always wanted to be a writer. Writing is in my blood. There are times when we all need a break and I think they are necessary in order to rejuvenate. Thanks for this open and honest post.
Breaks can bring new energy. Also, things percolate during vacations that aren’t about words on a page.
Yep. Agreed. Thanks Joan!
So true, Joan!
I nearly gave up on the first novel of my sci-fi trilogy (Compile:Quest). I’d written the first book, and was halfway through the second when my plot just crumbled (even though I’d worked it out before hand). It was as if my characters had outgrown the story I’d put them in.
I ended up having to re-write 80% of the first book, and still have to begin re-writing the second, but I’m happy to say that the first has been published!
So all I can say is, there’s usually a reason you’re stuck. Take a walk, think about it, and just keep writing.
I needed to hear this today. My WIP wasn’t “working” so I’ve been thinking of revisions and how to make it better. Your comment encourages me. Thanks!
I think we all want to quit at some point. It’s the ones who don’t that eventually make the grade.
Persistence is key. 🙂
Agreed!
I feel a little guilty. I didn’t quit on my own writing, but I just quit on someone I was mentoring. I pointed out my value when we first met, but they didn’t want to pay the price because they had not received that kind of advice before. They needed to be shown not told. So I gave them some leeway and showed… for a few weeks, months, too many sessions for them to value my help beyond paying for a coffee and a shared slice of cake. Well, okay she had finally bought a light snack lunch.
But when she rang to change an appointment, then didn’t show up until the next day and rang wondering where I was… I just had to say: I’m too busy for this.
But, first she introduced “the dog”. Suddenly she was excited she was getting some enthusiasm for her story again by introducing a dog for the main character to talk to. Instead of getting over the mid-story bump of just-below-the-summit, that Joe refers to in his article, she had decided to go all the way back to the bottom of the mountain and rewrite everything else with a dog…
I’m too fond of dogs to put them through the torture of getting to just below the summit and having to turn back without the breeze and view of sitting on top of that mountain.
I told her I was too busy for this.
I reminded myself I had taken her on when I was just sitting below the summit of my own project. She had been too many of my own excuses-for-not-buckling-down to face that challenge in a new form of my own work.
I didn’t quit. I got back on the right track.
I am not taking my writing for granted, and I am not taking my ability to mentor for granted either. When I get a longer form out there (I have a performance poetry background so short, sweet and immediate are all forms to get over here) I will really be able to show my endurance. so I’m not saying any more… I got some serious writing to do. And now (with a little reminder from Joe) it’s fun again – all down hill as they say!
Awesomeness! This made me giggle a lot. It’s not comedy. Giggling inappropriately is one of my charms and when I do it’s cuz I heard the truth. If I had one of those hackneyed nickels for every time I thought to quit, I wouldn’t need my day job or earnings from my ebook. It’s also true about breakthroughs, as in it takes a dark night of the soul to beat a spiritual crisis. Writing is from the soul and spirit. Good job shining a light on how torture and fun are the yin yang to writing and living.
Oh Dawn thank you for seeing the humor in the situation. We get ourselves so twitterpated about our writing.
This made me giggle a bit myself, Dawn. Thank you!
Haha Indeed Dawn 🙂 Loved this. Thanks for sharing 🙂
I’ve just finished my first book and it’s about to be published. Just yesterday I came to the realisation that my novel is absolute crap and I’ll never write another.
What does that mean???
It’s impossible to judge your own work, Deborah. Do you have a good critique group?
Deborah – if it’s about to be published, it’s obvious that SOMEBODY thinks it’s worth reading. Who are you to question their judgment (or taste?), you’re only the writer! 😉
Self publishing… that doesn’t count.
It means doubt is trying for one last push to get the better of you. Writing may not be for you but you succeeded even if it is crap. 🙂 I echo what Warjna said. “Who are you to question their judgement (or taste?) you’re only the writer! ;-)”
I haven’t been so frustrated with a story that I’ve wanted to quit, but I have lost interest in writing. I’ve let a few month go by without putting a word on my screen.
I completed a novel that took three years to write and rewrite… then went through 3 years of writer’s block. Now I am back in the saddle, and it feels good =)
Awesome.
I have also wanted to quit at times, but now wanting to quit is even a good topic to write about. 🙂
Many thanks to you Joe for this post.
Haha Indeed it is Parsinegar 🙂
There’s nothing like using writer’s block as a prompt. 🙂
A win-win situation!
I have to say I’ve never wanted to quit. I’ve felt frustrated and depressed. You know the line about sitting in front of the screen until drops of blood form on your forehead? And felt like I’d been sitting there banging my head on the screen, that’s why the drops of blood. Because though I know where the story has to go to get where I want it to end, I just can’t figure out how to connect those damn dots, or the character I’m working on has something else she wants to do – which may be an absolutely wonderful scene but has NO DAMN THING to do with where I need the story to go…
What I do in the latter case is write the damned scene and stick in in my Apocrypha file.
What I do in the former case is either go back to the beginning and reread the story to see where I was and how I got there, and hope that maybe I’ll shake something loose. I have actually split my story into two documents, one for Main Character A’s storyline and one for Main Character B’s. That actually helps clarify a lot, being able to read through the one without distracting myself with the other.
If that doesn’t help, I throw in the towel on it for a bit. I tell it, ‘Fine, be that way. I don’t want to talk to you right now, you’re being mean to me.’ And I go to another story and work on that instead (I have two different stories percolating at any one time because sometimes an idea won’t let me go). That usually works quite nicely. I get something done on another project that I care about, and pretty soon when I take a break the other story comes creeping back wanting to kiss and make up.
And if that still doesn’t work – well, I figure that there’s something else wrong. That’s when I dive into my excel spreadsheet and look over my plotline notes. Dig into the technical bits. Or the character’s psychology. WHY doesn’t so-and-so want to do this? I have notes for each main character (and major secondaries) that probably total more than the actual MSS that are ABOUT what’s going on, about motivations and thought processes and physical and mental habits and a whole slew of stuff. Sometimes writing is about writing about what you’re writing about. (God, I hope that made sense!) And I just kind of write my way out of that corner I’d written myself into.
Or, like now – posting a comment. Don’t ask me how that works, but I just figured out where I got stuck. I’m gonna stop now and get back to writing!
I want to quit all the time . . .but the story won’t shut up in my head so, eventually, I dig back in and put it on paper to be free of it.
Haha I know what you mean. Thanks Sessha. 🙂
Love it!
I just completed my first novel due to release at the end of this month and there were several times I wanted to give up, especially during the editing process. Now that it is complete I am glad I pushed through and finished my goal. Even if I don’t sell any books I’m glad I pursued something Ive always wanted to do.
That’s inspiring Elizabeth!
Ooo you’re publishing a book? I’d love to see it Elizabeth, when its out. 🙂 Good job!
Yes thank you !! It’s called Numbers: Where Their Story Begins. It’s releasing oct 28th. The ebook will be available on amazon and the paperback will be available on createspace.com or on my website ecooperwriter.com
Check out the website to get a view of the cover!!! Thanks for your interest !
Congratulations, Elizabeth! The accomplishment in itself is definitely something worth celebrating! I’m so excited for you! 😀
Thanks!!
Now this is something wow to hear!
OMG–this came at just the right time. I’m right in the “muddle in the middle,” and though I know where I’m going and how, getting there has been more of a slog than I expected. Love the book, love the feeling of getting so close to the end of it, but it feels as if it’s taking forever sometimes.
I also write for the Huffington Post, and have ideas nagging me all the time–and taking me away from my novel. Often on purpose, as a way of escaping. But every other day, these days, my whole soul rebels a bit. I want to turn off those voices in my head that Sessha talks about, and just…be…for a while.
But that’s never going to happen. So I always surrender. And I’m always glad.
Yep. Thanks for this Cynthia. 🙂
Okay, Joe, I love “Don’t quit writing in the ugly middle.” Now I can think of it as finally hitting the downhill side of the job. Thanks for the inspiration and motivation.
Joe, I love your honesty, encouragement, inspiration, practical help, and sense of humor. Thanks for being a candle in the dark.
I have struggles with writing from both ends of the spectrum: I have several novels in progress (or rather, indefinite limbo) because although I’m very happy with the beginnings and the endings, that dastardly “meantime” section gets me every time. How to get from Point A to Point B… On the other hand, I write reviews and interviews professionally and am often advised that I’ve written too much. It’s hard to trim down a piece in which I’ve put in so much time, devotion, and passion. Maybe I feel my writer’s voice would be eliminated in the edit and it would be emotionless, bland, and ordinary. I don’t want to drone on unnecessarily though, either. Ah, the conundrums of one who loves to write.
You struggle with getting from A to B … Have you read “Ron Carlson writes a story” by Ron Carlson? That was a huge door opener for me.
Ella
I also have several novels in limbo. Often I know the ending either as or even before I write the beginning. I’m a pantser. Plotting out novels is a difficult practice for me. But it would be better than fading out mid book. What do you think?
Well Joe, I’ve been busy but finally found the time to write my practice. I hope you like it.
There it stands blank, intimidating, daring me to write. To create from something only existent in my head. Will anyone like my idea? Or is it only likeable in my head? No stop it. Even if you only touch one its worth it.
I start writing gazing at the first sentence. I from one, two, a whole paragraph forms. I look over it and scowl. No that just doesn’t sound right…. I begin to erase and start.
Nothing sounds right though any other person wouldn’t have seen anything wrong with it. Frustration, and despair rise in my breast. I don’t want to do this, I don’t’ want to be a writer.
The thoughts startle me but in the current state of my mind they appease me. Then a new thought arises, What if you were meant to inspire people and you never tried?
I think of a comparison that was made by one of my writer friends. “Our work is like a spark yearning to be fed, cultivated into a roaring fire of passion. When we set our work out onto the world we watch it and see other sparks rise. They land and you hope that they kindle someone else and create the passion you feel now.”
Yes I need to cultivate this fire, keep it burning for neglect, even if its not the funnest things in the world, will make it fade and eventually die out. It’s unavoidable. You’re a writer, you write.
With these thoughts in mind I start again. My words still sound sour to me but I know I must continue. After all, editing comes second in this creative process.
I’ve felt at many moments like this, like nothing I’m writing is good. I feel like I’m writing crap or merely walking through mud, my words going no where. Yet in my mind I know that it will be worth it. I will be able to do this. I will write.
So here you are at nearly the end of my spout of words. I may have sparked something in you or merely made you think. You may absolutely hate what I’ve just written, but that won’t discourage me. I’ve written today, and that’s enough to keep my spark burning. To keep feeding the fire of my passion, to keep living my dream.
I hope that you never give up when you feel like quitting. Giving up helps no one and only ends up hurting the readers you may have by not giving them your light. It hurts you so why would you quit? Do we usually do things just to hurt ourselves?
If writing is your passion then write. Don’t hold it back don’t delay it, write. Even if its complete crap it is something. Don’t let your fire die because of procrastination or the watery doubt. Write. That’s all I have to say.
Thank you for sharing this, Miriam. It is encouraging to know that other writers struggle with quitting too. It’s even more encouraging to know that they don’t give in! That is a good comparison from your writer friend. Start the fire and watch the sparks fly.
Thanks for reading it Joy!
Thank you for this post Joe. It really clicks with me. Your honesty resonates. You most definitely cannot quit! We simply won’t allow it! 😉
“Writing is somewhere between torture and fun.”
I agree. And yet, writing is so worth it. I don’t write because it makes me feel good. I don’t write because I’m overcome with inspiration every time I stare at a blank screen. Most of the time it’s quite the opposite. I write just because I’m a writer–even if I don’t feel like one. I write because I have hope that God will help me turn these thousands of words and countless hours and crazy ideas into a story worth sharing with the world. Ah! Yes, writing–that tortuous feeling of fun. A true love/hate relationship. And despite battling writer’s block…
Here’s my attempt at the prompt (from my WIP):
Mom’s grave marker is small and warm from the sun.
I sit cross-legged on the grass. This is the closest I can get to her, and still she’s far away.
A wind chime jingles from a nearby grave. It’s happy. Mom would want me to be happy. She would want to me to move on with my life. She would want me to keep pianting, but I can’t paint. I can’t move on. I can’t be happy–not when she is under the ground, and I’m sitting on it.
Pessimist. She’s with God. She’s not in the grave.
I believe it. I know it. But it only makes her farther away. Heaven isn’t here.
Murky clouds descend on the sky, thickening the air. The storm understands me. Thunder moans like my soul. Rain falls like my tears. The sky is dark like my thoughts.
You’ve broken me to pieces, God. You’ve struck me with lightening. I never thought I’d feel this way. I never thought I’d want to run from you. I can’t live this life without you. I love you still. I just don’t feel it. There’s no color here.
Where did color go?
I like this. It’s short, but powerful. I like the idea that her being in Heaven actually makes her seem farther away.
Thank you. I’m trying to get in her head. 🙂
The title of this post drew me right in 🙂 I was like, “He quit writing?!?!” and clicked the link before even grabbing breakfast.
It’s nice (in a misery loves company type of way) to see other writers go through this. I’ve been struggling with a feeling that all my pieces come off the same (like the tracks on a Spin Doctors album). It’s been really frustrating, but all I can do is start another story and constantly attempt to broaden my horizons.
WHEEEEEEEE!
I could relate to absolutely everything you said. I’ve complete four novels. I’ve two agents for two of those books, then lost them both. (One retired; the other, we parted ways). I find it fascinating how writing how breaks our hearts, but it also the only means to save our literary souls.
And you’re right about the breakthroughs. With writing, the ONLY failure is quitting. Thanks for you honest, Joe.
Well maybe there’s hope for me yet. I haven’t gotten as far as wanting to quit yet because I’ve been too afraid (or possibly lazy) to start any “serious” project.
Maybe it’s a good sign for good sign to come …
Joe. I want to quit. I have been staring at my computer screen for the past hour… 3000 words to go.
I’m actually the opposite…I love writing. I immerse myself in my characters and I find I’m depressed when the story ends because I’ve become emotionally attached to them. My first two novels are due out sometime in the spring, and though I haven’t gotten my first edits back to get frustrated with the process, I keep writing:D Great blog:)
Every time I consider writing I always convince myself soon after to quit before even beginning. Now I realize I am not alone in my fear and frustration! Thank you.
Time for me to cross the starting line!
“Pens at your mark, get ready…”
How would it be seen? Or, how would I be seen after that. The joy to be shared seems to be a nightmare now. There is abundance of materials but none seems true; mere hypothesis. Is it ridiculous or it happens to everybody? God know. Yes, only He can help. vinxn2003
I always have these conflicting emotions towards writing, like mood swings. Yes, I think I shall call them the “Writer’s Mood Swings”. Normally, I would turn to my muse – music – which has always solved this problem before. But, sometimes, the music does not work and I have nothing else to turn to. So I just sit and stare at the blank page that threatens me with defeat, go through the last chapter or paragraph I had written and go back to staring at the threatening page, hating myself and my life.
Strangely enough, when I think of writing anything else that my mind would squeeze out, that is when I find that that blank page was nothing more than just that – a blank page! The story has emerged and the block has been overcome! The mood switch has turned from “low self-esteem” to “that’s my boy!”
…And in the end, I find that I cannot hate writing as I thought I did.
Yes. I used to be a writer, but I quit. I wasn’t happy.
Thank you for this. [thumbs up emoji]
I’m going to quit writing. I get so depressed that I’ll never get published even I have been writing since 1992, I think I need to get a day and keep it and do the best I can on what I make.
I started to write a story when I was 13 years old and now I’m 16. I wrote a stories in Wattpad then suddenly I stopped, I don’t know why. I keep myself to write a story after all but when I’m a middle of writing, I stopped again, and again. Why I should write the story and didn’t finish it? Whyyyyyyyy?