Plonk [words on wednesdays]

The word of the week is:

Plonk

Definition:

Verb

  1. To place something down heavily
  2. To throw oneself with abandon

Noun

  1. Slang term for wine
  2. Slang term for idiot, eejit or stupid person

Here is an excerpt from “Lamb” by Bernard MacLaverty

He brought back two plastic beakers, yelping with the heat in his fingers. It was the colour of blood and tasted of iron. They had thimblefuls of milk which had to be torn open and they both spilled them. Owen took some sugar lumps from his pocket and offered one to Michael, which he refused. They were wrapped in twos and Michael watched the boy unwrap three packets and plonk the lumps in his tea. Owen watched the tiny procession of bubbles rising to the surface.

PRACTICE

Write for five minutes, using the word “plonk” as frequently as you can. When you’re finished, post your practice in the comments section.

Be Machiavellian as you plonk your words down or tap the keys.

Also, extra credit if you use the word of the week in your daily practice!

Don't mess with me by The Hills are Alive

Don’t mess with me by The Hills are Alive

My Practice

Annie MacCafferty knew she was having the worst day ever in the entire universe and it wasn’t even light yet. Her errant husband had just slipped in beside her all foreign perfume and leftover pheromones. A phrase from her favourite television programme kept rising up in her mind “You plonker,” except instead of the inept and comical Rodney, the butt of the joke being the plonker it was her, Annie. As she feigned sleep, she silently wept.

A thousand thoughts jockeyed for position, choices lit up like neon signs in a red light district. ‘GO,’ ‘STAY,’ ‘KILL,’ MAIM,’ and ‘DESTROY.’ No, that wasn’t her way, passive- aggressive the shrink had told her years before. Well bring it on now! This was the war of passive aggressive and she was queen. The tears stopped, the planning began.

Joel woke up to smell pancakes cooking on the griddle and Annie singing in the kitchen. Wow he thought I really got away with it. Normally he showered before coming home but this new girl was feisty and he was running so late. He plonked himself in the shower allowing the water to clear his head from the cheap plonk last night.

Breakfast was a light affair. Annie chatted about school and attentively asked about the big account Joel was working on. Her eyes were twinkling and he found her irresistible all over again, helping himself to another pancake. Annie smiled as she left for school wondering how long before he would plonk himself on the toilet for the day. Round one to me she said satisfied at a job well done.

Now after pancakes laced with pancakes what next, “oh, oh, oh, I know accidentally scraping the side of his car. If I go downtown from …” And she was off waging war. The moral of the tale is in this festive period be careful where you plonk your hat, there will be consequences.

About the Author

Suzie Gallagher

Suzie is scatty writer from Ireland trying to write her first novel, entitled The Only Temperance Bar in Ireland. She also writes worship songs, poems & short stories. You can find her at her blog and on Facebook.

  • http://www.facebook.com/audrey.chin.9655 Audrey Chin

    Man I wrote a whole practice and it’s gone. Ah well, thanks for the inspiration Suzie.And I loved your practice. It was so funny. Pancakes laced with “pancakes?” What is that ….

  • ErikaSimoneT

    It appears that the amount I write in five minutes is far less than what anyone else here does! That said, I’m content with what I created. I’m a beginner after all. :)

    “I plonked myself down on the bed and sighed. It’d been a
    long trip. Had I spotted a bottle of some sort of plonk near the back of the
    refrigerator? Maybe I could use a sip or two. Even on a good day driving exhausts me, but that evening, the freeway had been full of plonks weaving in and out of traffic in the most nerve-wracking way. And I still had some reading to do – correction, quite a bit of reading to do. After crossing the room to pick up my laptop, I dropped it before me on the red coverlet with a “plonk” that would have made my tech-savvy brother cringe. He hates it when I’m careless with electronics. But I was tired and at that moment, I couldn’t care less about the gadget – they go obsolete so fast you don’t have time to wear them out, anyway.”

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Suzie-Gallagher/100001281206171 Suzie Gallagher

      Good job Erika

    • Ana

      That’s nice! (Also, I don’t really time myself up when I’m writing, I think I used a biiit more than 5 minutes. :D)

  • http://www.sowingseedsofgrace.wordpress.com/ Sherrey Meyer

    Aaron came home late. Again. Alyssa was almost used to his habitual lateness. Despite his job as a security guard at the prison and working the late shift, Aaron’s return to their townhouse kept getting later and later.

    There was always an excuse. The next shift didn’t have enough guards. Someone didn’t show up for work and he had stayed until they got coverage. The car wouldn’t start. Aaron had a million of them.

    But because tomorrow night was a special evening with family celebrating her cousin’s marriage, Alyssa decided to let it drop and say nothing this time. Tomorrow she would spend a lot of time getting ready for their night out. Aaron would see what he was missing by staying away so much.

    The next morning Alyssa was up with the kids early, getting their breakfast and baths behind her so she could do her hair, nails and makeup with plenty of time to finish up before they were to leave to meet up at the restaurant.

    Alyssa was almost ready — new dress, new hairstyle, nails looking great, makeup at its best! She slowly finished up and then walked down the stairs. Aaron was at the bottom waiting.

    “Why are you always so slow? Can’t you ever be ready on time?”

    “I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was that late.”

    “It doesn’t matter. Let’s go.”

    Alyssa realized the tone for the evening had started all wrong. She tried to make small talk in the car, but Aaron wasn’t engaging. Alyssa attempted to share new firsts in their infant son’s life but that didn’t get his attention either. When she started to tell him what their 4-year old daughter had done at preschool that day, he yelled at her to shut up. So she did.

    Alyssa suffered in silence through the dinner party. It was hard to be any other way after the events of the early evening. Something about Aaron’s behavior made her suspicious. She wondered if there was something about his job on his mind, or perhaps it was school. He was under a lot of stress there. It was so hard to read him since his tour in Iraq.

    Finally, dinner was over and they headed home. Aaron was the first out of the car and in the door, leaving Alyssa behind without a word. When she climbed the stairs to their bedroom, Alyssa found Aaron already in bed. He’d plonked his keys, wallet and cell phone on the nightstand. As usual, his clothes were all over the floor.

    He barely looked up at her.

    “I don’t want to be married any more.”

    “What did you say?” Alyssa moved farther into the room.

    “I said I don’t want to be married any more.”

    Alyssa waited awhile before getting ready for bed. She had to think through this sudden pronouncement Aaron had plonked on her tonight. What could she do? How was she going to raise two babies all by herself? She needed a plan.

    Aha! First things first. She crept back up the stairs, grabbed two athletic bags, and filled them with Aaron’s socks, underwear, and uniforms. Tiptoeing as quietly as she could, downstairs she went. Alyssa opened the door as slowly as possibly, plonked the two bags on the front lawn of their next door neighbor, and then went back upstairs. Once in bed, Alyssa fell asleep so fast she hardly knew it, and then she slipped into dreams of what Aaron would do tomorrow with no socks, underwear or uniforms for work.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Suzie-Gallagher/100001281206171 Suzie Gallagher

      Very good Sherrey, nice passive aggressive move

    • Ana

      I feel the kind of humorous ending contrasts the overall tone of the piece. The first part leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, but Alyssa suddenly doesn’t seem to mind her husband’s behaviour at all. Still, I enjoyed the read!

  • http://twitter.com/1stwordproblems Jeff Ellis

    The fuzzy guitar of old school blues rock warbled through the ship’s intercom, accompanied by a light drum shuffle. It brought a rocking to Jimmy’s hips as he saddled up to the pinball machine, plonking a quarter into the slot. He let the rhythm tell him when to launch the ball, when to flip the paddles, and the game became his masterpiece.

    Carried away from his body, like his ship from Earth, he forgot the world outside of the pinball machine. Forgot her. Forgot them. Forgot himself and all that deep sorrow that puddled in his guts day in and day out. He swayed to the gently introduced kick-drum, putting his hips into every press of the button. His knees were rubber, his neck a cobra charmed by the music.

    He let the singer’s blues devour his own weepy trembling. When he missed the first ball, the machine lit up, “6,000,000 points! Keep it up!” but his sophomore attempt was less impressive. “6,213,089! Doing great!” Jimmy took a deep breath and prepared himself for his third and final round, but he didn’t even break seven million.

    “God dammit!” he shouted and kicked the machine to little affect. He plonked onto the floor and began to weep. This trip was going to be the death of him. The cold, lonely, death of him.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Suzie-Gallagher/100001281206171 Suzie Gallagher

      Jeff this is great, I am back in the 70′s of Tommy and Pinball Wizard and forward into the future all at the same time. Well done

      • http://twitter.com/1stwordproblems Jeff Ellis

        Hahaha, thanks Suzie, I was going for a kind of music video feel.

    • Ana

      Man, I absolutely loved this. It really touched me for some reason. Good job!

      • http://twitter.com/1stwordproblems Jeff Ellis

        Thanks Ana! I’m glad you enjoyed it!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Suzie-Gallagher/100001281206171 Suzie Gallagher

    Okay so I ‘fess up there is a gaping error in my practice. I am not going to change it because y’all post without editing so it is only fair. I must remember to read through what I write rather than just skim. Can you find it>>>>?

  • Julie

    I’m not sure if this is how you post, but I’ll give it a go. :)

    And then they came, conquered and plonked down in our living room like footballers in the locker room at half time. I peered around the corner. At least the five relatives were contained to one place. I plastered on a smile and entered. Hugs
    and kisses were followed by, “Where do I put my stuff?” After directives, kids pounding feet echoed as they flew upstairs.

    “Where do you want us to plonk our gear?” Uncle Tio
    said.

    “Just leave it. I’ll get Ted to put it in your room.” I swung my eyes to the star at the top of the Christmas tree and exhaled.

    Quiet. I tip toed up stairs and listened at the first door—games. The next door—games.

    I slithered downstairs and found Uncle Tio on his Ipad, drinking from a bottle of red plonk . Aunt Lillie’s sobs could be heard from the kitchen. I rushed in as she plonked a box of Kleenex on the table.

    Ted threw open the door with a grin which would make Santa
    envious.

    “Where’s everybody?

    Anger swelled in my throat. “Plonking.”

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Suzie-Gallagher/100001281206171 Suzie Gallagher

      well done Julie, your virgin post!!! I like you got in the bottle of plonk.

      • Julie

        Thanks Suzie

  • Ana

    At first I intended to pass up on the practice, or “leave it for later” (that same elusive “later” that never seems to come), but then I felt guilty. So, I gave it a shot. Here’s what happened:

    ***
    He burst out of the room, fuming with anger. When he slammed the door shut, the windows rattled. He stomped into the living room, carelessly plonking his bag on the nearest armchair. He loosened his tie, but the feeling of choking did not fade. His heart was on the verge of bursting out of his chest; waves of heat ran through
    his body.

    He sighed. Pressing his hands against his forehead, he struggled to regain his composure. Breathe in, breathe out. With every breath, the anger that suffocated him dissipated. The blood-red cloud of fury in his mind slowly faded away. He plonked on the sofa and raised his feet on the table.

    A second later, he remembered how much she hated it when he did that. After a moment’s hesitation, he put them back down again.

    He couldn’t help but feel guilty. He hated quarrelling with her; he always felt remorse afterwards. “I am such a plonker,” he muttered.

    Just as he considered going back to the bedroom to apologise, the door flew open. He had no time to realise what was happening before she plonked at him.

    The suddenness of her hug made him jump in surprise. Then her arms were around his waist, her face buried in his shirt and the sweet fragrance of her hair tickled his nose. He relaxed and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

    “I’m sorry.”

    ***

    It’s nothing much, but I still feel proud that I wrote it. And hey, I learned a new word. Thanks, Suzie!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Suzie-Gallagher/100001281206171 Suzie Gallagher

      Ana this is great. Well done. You used plonk with great aplomb. I think plonk is a good onomatopoeia word and very British. I think I am homesick.

      • Ana

        Thanks for your kind words, Suzie! And I agree – I like the sound of it, and it really does sound British. (My spell check doesn’t recognise it as a word, but after all, spell check is a plonker. :D)

    • Julie

      Ana, I thought this is good description of anger…then the thoughts of regret, remorse and steps to the apology. I enjoyed reading this.

      • Ana

        Thank you so much!

    • http://twitter.com/1stwordproblems Jeff Ellis

      I like that you took us through the steps from anger to regret to apology. Well done, Ana.

      • Ana

        Thanks a lot, Jeff! :)

  • Tiffany

    My Practice: Please give feedback.

    I
    wear this gown of brown and I foster a pink ribbon in my hair.

    A feast to remember is before me, how can
    I refuse I thought.

    Some
    times common sense alludes me I plonked myself down on the bed wondering looking at the cracks in the
    ceiling, I began to daydream. My legs felt almost numb when my mother began to
    call me down stairs to part take
    in this divine meal, but in her eyes,
    that sustenance was her blood sweat and tears that she laboriously
    poured over a hot stove to satisfy our
    appetites. Then there to my surprise he was not there. I dropped my eyes
    in disappointment and as mother caught my gesture she plonked the cream corn on
    the table. Then I thought how could something so sweet and delicious become a
    object of violent attention. I felt my emotions and snapped out of
    it. I knew that mother wanted to know what was wrong but I abandoned such selfish thoughts and enjoyed
    this loving meal with her.

    “ I
    am not well today” The thoughts
    of over took me .

    I
    didn’t mean to but I plonked my fork on the table that grabbed the attention of my bother that
    notices not a plank that may lay upon his head.

    Where
    was father?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Suzie-Gallagher/100001281206171 Suzie Gallagher

      Tiffany good practice.
      I would use “take part” or “partake”, not sure that part take is the right phrase.
      What is cream corn?

  • Julie Smith

    Enjoyed the piece very much. You certainly used ‘plonk(ed), the prompt, well. I too liked “Her errant husband had just slipped in beside her all foreign perfume and leftover pheromones.” The passive-aggressive behaviour internal dialogue shows her state of mind, especially the all caps, . ‘GO,’ ‘STAY,’ ‘KILL,’ MAIM,’ and ‘DESTROY. Then you wrap it up with a moral to the story about watching out where you plonk your hat, and even included the festive season.
    Will done.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Suzie-Gallagher/100001281206171 Suzie Gallagher

      thanks Julie – give a go yourself?

      • Julie

        I’m very new here. How do I plonk my post?

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Suzie-Gallagher/100001281206171 Suzie Gallagher

          Either write direct into the box or copy and paste into the box, in the same place as your comments.

  • Debra Mauldin

    My Practice:

    Lacy fingered the delicate silk before plonking the scarf
    on her head. She walked down the stairs
    and asked the butler if he would have her car brought around. “Leaving us so soon, madam?” “No” she replied, “Just going to take a
    little trip into town”. As if it was any
    of his business, she thought to herself.
    She prowled in her purse for the car keys, and then peeked through the
    door to see if her car had been brought around yet.

    It was early morning and only the servants were up and
    about. The sun was rising and a light
    breeze was blowing. Lacy reached up to check
    that the scarf was secure before she plonked herself in the driver’s seat. As she drove down the drive, she looked in
    her rearview mirror to gaze at the mansion one more time.

    A couple of hours later Molly appeared and plonked down
    in a chair at the table. Her waiter came
    in and poured her some tea. “What would
    you like for breakfast this morning, Miss Molly” she asked. “Has Lacy already been down for breakfast?”
    Molly asked without looking up from her morning paper that had been laid out
    neatly for her at the breakfast table. “No
    Mam, she came down and asked for her car just as the sun was rising. Said she was taking a little trip into town” the
    waiter replied. Molly plonked the
    newspaper down on the table and looked up at the waiter. “What!” she exclaimed. The waiter started to explain all over again,
    but Molly stopped her with, “No, no. I
    understood that very well. I guess the
    question should be why?” Her waiter
    shrugged her shoulders and said, “Can’t help you there, Miss Molly.”

    A few months later, Molly was reading the morning
    newspaper, while she was sipping her tea.
    She came across an article that read, “Woman Found Strangled with Scarf”. Molly skimmed the article, sat her tea cup
    down with a plonk, and said to her waiter, “Well I say! Some plonker done got herself strangled with
    a silk scarf.”

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Suzie-Gallagher/100001281206171 Suzie Gallagher

      That reminds me of Isadora Duncan. Some good work here, one or two balldrops but it is practice innit!
      Good job

      • Debra Mauldin

        I would love to here more, especially on the balldrops. I’m open to opinions and criticism. I want to learn and grow.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Suzie-Gallagher/100001281206171 Suzie Gallagher

          The main one would be asking for the car to brought round but looking for the keys in the bag.

          But ;like I said being reminded of the free spirit that was Isadora Duncan more than makes up for it. ;-)

  • mariannehvest

    That was great Suzie. What a character Annie is, very clever and manipulative. I love the sentence “Her errant husband had just slipped in beside her all foreign perfume and leftover pheromones”. That is my favorite.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Suzie-Gallagher/100001281206171 Suzie Gallagher

      Yes, Marianne I am keeping that phrase for my wip. Thank you