How To Defeat Writer’s Block and Write With Courage

This is the last lesson in our three-part series on How To Write a Book. You can watch the lesson or read the transcript below.

In our last two lessons, we talked about why you should write a book and how to get started with a book plan. In this lesson, let's talk about one of the biggest threats to finishing your book: writer's block.

One Day You're Writing, The Next Day You're Stuck

At some point during the writing process, you're almost certainly going to hit a wall.

You probably have experienced this before.

You're writing along great. Each page feels fresh and exciting. The book seems to be writing itself. If you can keep this up, you'll have a book finished in no time and it will be amazing.

And then, predictably, something goes wrong. Perhaps you write a chapter that you're not sure about, something that clearly isn't as good as the chapters that came before it.

Or perhaps hit a problem in your story where you're just not sure what needs to happen next.

All of a sudden, the momentum you had is gone. Everything in your book feels like it's broken, and each sentence you write seems like wading through quicksand.

Writing a Book Is Hard

This happens to every writer I know. I'm sure there are writers out there who don't struggle with debilitating bouts of writer's block, but I haven't met them.

Here are a few things writing a book feels like:

• Panic: “I have a deadline. If I don't write this next scene, I'm going to be so behind.”
• Anxiety: “If I write this chapter wrong, the whole book could be ruined.” 
• Insecurity: “I'm not good a good enough writer to be writing this book.”
• Self-Doubt: “I will never write a great book.”
• Near physical pain: “Ughhhh! Writing is so hard!”
• Apathy: “Writing just isn't my passion anymore.”
• Laziness: “It would be easier to quit.”
• Self-sabotage: “If I'm not going to write a great book, what's the point in writing at all.”
• Humiliation. “I've never felt so stupid as I do while writing this horrible book.”

Sound familiar?

You will almost certainly hit one, several, or even all of these emotions in the midst of writing your book.

How are you going to handle them without quitting? How are you going to finish your book under the weight of these negative feelings?

You Must Be Courageous

Confession: I struggle with these same issues on a regular basis. In fact, I'm a little embarrassed to admit I struggled writing this very lesson.

It didn't help that I got a nasty email from another writer this morning who doesn't believe writing a book is that hard. She told me:

You can't make an assumption that every writer is as
crappy as you and can't write a book!!!!

I'm a writer and I've written over 30 books—finished them all and
have had some bestsellers. The others sell very well!!

Remove me from your mailing list. I don't associate with losers like you!!

Honestly, this didn't bother me at all. I actually laughed when I read it.

But it also raised a question that I struggle with all the time: “Who do I think I am to tell other people how to write a book?”

Even after writing four books, teaching millions of people how to become better writers, and running a blog that wins award after award, I still doubt whether I'm good enough.

Every book I've ever finished, I almost quit at some point. And for this lesson, when I was struggling with my own self-doubt about it, I honestly thought about blowing it, not teaching it, hoping you would forget.

Let me tell you how I refocused and finally finished.

Three Steps to Break Writer's Block

What the negative, paralyzing feelings we talked about above, like anxiety, self-doubt, apathy, all have in common is that they all stem from perfectionism.

Perfectionism is the belief you have to be perfect in order to be accepted, and more specifically, that your book has to be perfect right now or you won't be accepted by your readers, prospective publishers, but most of all yourself.

Writer's block is almost always caused by one thing: perfectionism.

How, then, do you defeat writer's block and perfectionism. Here is the three step system:

1. When you're feeling stuck, admit it.

When we get into a writing problem, we often avoid it through distraction. Oh I'll check Facebook for three hours, or, I'll play CandyCrush on my phone until I come up with inspiration, or, I'd feel a lot more inspired with a giant latte and a croissant.

Instead of distracting yourself with superficial conversation, mindless games, or empty calories, just admit it.

Say to yourself, “I don't know what to write right now. I'm completely stuck and I have no idea what to do.”

2. Meditate on imperfection.

One of my favorite books on creativity is called The Tools. It's by two therapists in Hollywood who treat some of the best actors, producers, and screenwriters in the film industry.

One day, a screenwriter who had been completely blocked for several years came to see them. After listening to the screenwriter talk about his inability to write for most of the session, the therapist told him to do something unusual.

Kneel in front of your computer, he said, for one minute every day, and pray to the universe for the ability to write the worst sentence in the world.

The worst sentence in the world?! I imagine the screenwriter said. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

However, he went home and did it. A few months later he had written a new screenplay, and when the film was finally released, it was a huge hit that went on to win an Academy Award.

Here's the lesson: Don't meditate on all the success you could experience when you finally finish your amazing book. That only leads to perfectionism. Instead, meditate on writing imperfect, broken sentences. Imagine yourself writing sentences that are so bad they're embarrassing.

When you finally write them down, you'll probably be surprised at how good they are.

3. Write through the pain.

There is no getting around it: writing is hard. The only thing you can do is keep going.

In the middle of writing my first book—to clarify, not the first book I attempted, but the first book I finished—I remember feeling so terrible about my writing that I collapsed from the chair to the floor, put my head on my arms and started to cry.

I felt frustrated and humiliated. “I never want to write this book again,” I thought. “I never want to be a writer again. I never want to feel like this again,” I said out loud.

It was a horrible moment. What did I do? I admitted I was stuck. I got back up. And after composing myself, I got back to writing.

I didn't finish much that day, but it wasn't more than a month until my book was finished.

That's when I learned that when you're writing a book, you always feel most frustrated and confused right before you have a breakthrough. 

Remember that next time you feel stuck and unable to write another word. You've almost reached a breakthrough. Keep writing.

Perfect is a myth. Strive for connection.

I can't write your book for you. I can't make this easier. Writing a book will be hard, almost impossibly hard.

However remember this: Your job is not to write perfect sentences. You have to begin the novel you aren’t ready to begin. You have to write the chapter that is immature and incomplete. This idea that you need to be perfect is a myth. It is a lie and it will destroy your creativity.

But this is actually a good thing.

Because your readers aren’t perfect either. And how could they ever relate to you and your writing if you were perfect?

Instead of trying to be perfect strive for the opposite of perfection: vulnerability, the courage to tell your story with your whole heart. If you write with courage instead of perfection, I can guarantee you will end up with a much better book.

So say this with me:

Good luck, and get writing.

Bonus Tips for Writing Success

Besides defeating writer's block and perfectionism, here are a few more tips on how to be successful when you're writing a book. Good luck!

• Take short lunches. There are only so many hours in the day. You're going to have to get creative and be ruthlessly focused on finding them. Most successful people I know don't take a lunch hour unless they're meeting with clients or colleagues, and the same is true for successful writers. Your lunch break is a great time to write. Eat at your desk and then find a quiet place to write.
• Work on Saturdays, in the early morning, and at night. Writing is not a nine to five job. I used to work part-time for a local magazine and have friends who are journalists, and I've found that no journalist works a normal nine to five schedule. The same is true for nonfiction and fiction writers, especially when you're first getting started. You have to work six or seven days a week, getting up early or going to bed late. You have to make time for your writing because no one is going to give it to you.
• Avoid distractions. You may think you have the willpower to ignore distraction, but willpower is a limited resource. Actively avoiding distractions can exhaust you to the point where you no longer have the willpower to write. There are two major distractions when it comes to writing: 1) the Internet and 2) conversations. For the former, I recommend installing an app that blocks distracting applications like Facebook and email (try Self-Control for Mac and Cold Turkey for Windows).
• Read a lot. I find that when I'm reading a lot, writing comes much more naturally. I sometimes have to avoid authors with very distinctive voices or I begin to write like them (especially for me Cormac McCarthy, Earnest Hemingway, and Annie Proulx). However, a good fast-paced fantasy or science fiction novel helps me stay focused and acts as a great reminder of why I write. If you want to write more, read at least one book a week for fun.