Metaphor is a speeding train, pulling readers down the tracks of your story.
Are you making full use of the power of metaphor in your writing? Or are you leaning on simile?
Photo by Cornelia Kopp
Metaphor Cements Connections
When we use metaphor, we make one element incarnate in another. The tie between the two becomes direct and visceral.
For example, to say the grime and neon lights of the metropolis are the hot blood in the veins of its citizens is to make an unequivocal declaration of how deeply and inextricably tied the people are to their city.
When we use simile, on the other hand, we only compare one element to another, and while simile is a useful tool, it can lack punch.
For example, simile goes down easy like a glass of iced tea, but it's forgettable like the canned lines in a greeting card.
When you use metaphor, the effect can be profound, shocking, provide a much needed injection of humor.
Metaphor is a Dangerous
Metaphor is anything but safe.
Simile, on the other hand, gives you an out. You don't have to commit to the comparison you're making. The reader can feel the hesitance and the image falls flat.
For example, which passage is more chilling?
Metaphor: Betrayal carved her initials into my heart, searing the flesh and adding a faint sizzle to its skipping beat.
Simile: Betrayal was like a knife, carving her initials into my heart, searing the flesh and adding a faint sizzle to its skipping beat.
Where Can You Use Metaphor?
Everywhere!
But here are a few specific ideas:
You can use metaphor in narrative descriptions.
Lily danced under the party lanterns, her belly a half-moon wrapped in antique-lace.
You can use metaphor in dialogue.
(Although your characters may end up sounding a little over dramatic, I get along just fine speaking this way…usually.)
“”I'm just a lost puppy looking for a monogrammed water dish and a fluffy bed to call my own,” said Bert, pleading with Rita to accept his proposals.
Use it in your short stories.
By combining elements from the backstory of your character, you can use metaphor to fast track character development in fewer words.
The summer breeze swelled the sails of Ambrose's soul, whispering of long ago days spent at sea.
Which do you prefer? Metaphor or simile? Why?
PRACTICE
You may think metaphor isn't part of your writing voice, but I dare you to take metaphor for a test drive today.
Take a project you've been working on and spend fifteen minutes replacing all the similes and safe comparisons with metaphors. When you’re done, you can post your favourite replacements in the comments section along with the original text.
You may just find metaphor is just the spark you needed to set your prose ablaze.
Ooh I can’t wait to try this! Great post Sara! I have to say I would have rejected Bert though. Now if John said he was a bulldog in search of a porch to stand guard over and protect with all his might, I might be more inclined!
Hahaha! Poor Bert, such a hopeless, hopeless romantic. With bulldogs like John around, he isn’t going to have any luck at all.
Sara, thank you for this simple, clear explanation and the encouragement to go out on a limb with metaphor more often. I’m headed there right now!
Go for it, Alizabeth! Don’t hold back; I can’t wait to see what you come up with!
Finding similes in my current works in process was like searching for the lipstick at the bottom of my handbag. Here’s my practice!
Original simile: Butterflies emerging from their chrysalides are like a cancer in my gut, shredding my stomach with razor wings as they flutter to escape with the words held on the tip of my tongue.
Magical metaphor: Butterflies emerging from their chrysalides are a cancer in my gut, shredding my stomach with razor wings as they flutter to escape with the words held on the tip of my tongue.
Missaralee, I love that call it ‘original’ simile and ‘magical’ metaphor. I must admit, your writing is deep and sensational. I like it a lot!
Simile: The radiance of her smile was like a lit torch that gave light to a dark room.
Metaphor: The radiance of her smile was a lit torch that gave light to a dark room.
I most definitely prefer a metaphor. I gives power to your writing so that it has poetic ambiance. Simile on the other, restrains what could be an explosive impact.
Love this Miranda! I agree there is something so poetic about metaphor. Even the very slight adjustment of dropping the ‘like’ and ‘as’ can cast a fanciful glow on a phrase!
Her radiant smile was a torch that sparked and sent darkness fleeing from the room.
A story is a river, isn’t it? A jungle river heading into the heart of darkness, an unknown landscape, monstrous and free.
It sure is, and metaphor is an embattled river boat carrying its frightened crew in search of a legendary adventurer. 😉
Oh, I love the Heart of Darkness, where angles of bones are nothing but disjointed souls.
I’ve just realized I don’t use similes or metaphors in my writing. This is something I must change.
I don’t use many either. I’m too literal.
Katie
Simile is like passive voice. There are times and places for its use, but you must know what you are doing. 🙂
Good point Anne-Marie! I find simile works very nicely anywhere you need a crisp, clean style, such as for articles, and I admit it is more natural for most dialogue, unless you want your characters to sound like poor Bert!
I agree. I just posted an example riddled with metaphors and then there is this simile at the end and I don’t want to part with it. The magic was gone and it ended with a simile… seems appropriate that way.
But what if you simply took the word “like” out of the last phrase? “an etch-a-sketch…”, would it still be a simile? It sounds good without the word “like”.
I don’t use many metaphors or similes in my writing. It’s not that I don’t like them, I like them fine. I just prefer to keep my writing short, sweet, and to the point.
Use these sparingly, I suppose. I’ve had people who’ve read my stuff tell me they found the metaphors to be tedious. Of course, it could be I’m just not good at them.
The metaphor is a courageous, prophetic tour guide leading the reader into uncharted territory. The simile is like a timid metaphor strolling in the park.
Perfect!
John Wayne in a Ripped Shirt
He is John Wayne in a ripped shirt and I’m the top shelf on
the clearance aisle, eighty percent off if I’m a penny, and the band is playing
Hank Williams’ “I’m So Lonesome I Could Die,” and the air is thick with smoke
and knock-off cologne so strong my eyes water, and when he reaches me he takes
my hand and I am whole again, I’m the temple before the money changers messed things up, I’m younger than I’ve ever been, and his arm goes ‘round me and we are
jeans against jeans, rivet against rivet, a fight about to happen, and we swing together, two cars on a carnival ride,
Tilt-A-Whirls, the Zipper, and the bottom falls out and we float, tangled in
sweat and starlight, brighter than the moon, brighter than the morning star.
That’s cosmic like Kerouac, crazy like a drug trip. I know, those are similies — there’s no metaphors left — you used them all up. Keep going! I love it.
It’s so…so…so Film Noire!
Short but packed! Love the metaphors used in here. Great job Marla 🙂
Thank you JB, ShelleyD and Pjreece. I was on my way to a barn dance tonight. It may or may not have influenced me.
Well, hello John Wayne! I love this, your metaphor IS the scene rather than a device added for effect. Very vibrant, solid writing.
Thank you so much!
“I want you to ask me to teach you,” Tom breathes.
His expression shifts ever so slightly and I am sent
spinning. I want to drink his words,
brew the syllables into a tea and slowly sip the sounds until I know exactly
what it is he means to say.
Silence hangs but it’s not uncomfortable. It’s dark chocolate rich and Champaign
intoxicating. I swallow hard.
“Will you teach me?” The question burns fiery blue with
forbidden innuendos.
“Ya, I’ll teach you.”
There is something behind his smile that makes me blush, something that
makes the air too heavy to breath.
He clears his throat and all traces of intimacy are swept
away, like a drawing erased from an etch-a-sketch with one quick shake.
(And then there’s that simile in the last line and I don’t want to part with it….)
“I want to drink his words, brew the syllables into tea, and slowly sip the sounds…” is absolutely delectable!
Thank you so much.
Agreed.
Beautiful. And so much tension. Good work.
Thank you thank you.
Ooh, that was starting to get steamy. I like the simile at the end, you’re right to keep it. Can’t go banishing simile altogether, we’d have nothing to compare metaphor too 😉
Excellent point.
I’m hooked. Great writing.
Thank you so much. Appreciate the feedback.
Wow, that was a powerful piece. Sucked me right in. I really want to know what happens next!
metaphors are cooler but similies are easier XD
I prefer to use metaphor whenever I can although sometimes I end up with simile instead. I love the quote that metaphor is ‘an exactly felt error’.
You make some great points here, Joe! Metaphor is definitely more powerful than simile, though I’ve never noticed it before reading this post.
Hi Abigail. This is Sara’s post, but I definitely agree she makes good points. Thanks, Abigail.
I don’t have a piece to share at the moment but thank you for this thought provoking article.
Glad you liked it, Giulia. You can write something next time. 🙂
This is my first post here (so, uh… Hi?)!
I read a lot of these posts and they truly motivate me. I do not post the practice because even though I’m good at English (I’m Brazilian, by the way) I’m not good enough to write novellas and such in this wonderful language.
Recently (few months ago) I started developing a new world (called Gillomd) and writing some fictions about it, but every time I read it, the feeling of emptiness get the hold of me after every place or person description; I have a huge difficulty in creating metaphors – even though this helped me, I believe there is still a long path for me to walk before I can publish my work.
Not to mention my dialogues, but that is another story for another comment… 🙂
Welcome! Thank you for joining us. It sounds like you’re working on some exciting writing projects. Keep going! publishing is a long road for all of us.