By Anna Savastano

Storytellers often describe the superhero as one with extraordinary abilities dressed in capes and tights just like Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman. Let me shed some light on this somewhat myth. Most of the superhero population wears everyday attire. I should know. I am one of them. Stacey Salesback is my name. Superhero, real estate broker is my game. Did I mention we can find superheroes in the most unlikely places?  Look around, there could be a super hero in your midst right now.

Some mornings I feel God should have graced me with the same advantages as an octopus. Two limbs cannot keep up with my hectic schedule. This morning, for instance, while driving my standard stick shift car, I had my cell phone glued to my ear as I jotted down an address a client wanted me to look into for him. Please people, do not attempt this at home! It takes extraordinary ability to maneuver such an intricate task.

I rush past the super career seekers at the office. Honestly, do they believe that standing by the coffee machine all day will give them those leads on buyers and sellers they so desperately seek? Lord, would I love to do coffee at the coffee machine some mornings. It would be a welcomed break, although, the superhero in me could at no time leave my trusting buyers with a homeless plight.  

“Honestly Stacey I don't know how you find anything on that desk with all those opened files,” My assistant Thomas says as he enters my office with my coffee.

I roll my eyes up at him as I take in the decadent aroma of my morning coffee. He knows that multitasking has become a way of life for me. He leaves me to my work after he’s briefed me on the hundred things that need to get done today. Two files need my immediate attention. Synchronously, my cell phone and my office line start buzzing. Fixating on my computer screen, I spot the perfect new listing. I set one line on hold as I answer the other. My eyes widen as I read on.

“Stacey Salesback here,” I tell the caller.

As I wait for someone to acknowledge my response, I quickly scour my client bank for the perfect buyer for this home. David and Aliza Hoffman appear to be the best suited. And as luck would have it, I hear Aliza address me on the line.

“Yes, Aliza I am just looking at something that appears suitable for you. We must visit it at once. This listing will not stay on the market long. My day is pretty full, however I can meet you there right around lunch time.”

Right about midday, I await my protégés in front of a modern three storey detached cottage with a sepia colored stone brick facade. A blue Jeep Cherokee rumbles towards me stopping just across from me. A big, burly man occupies the driver’s seat. Next to him sits David Hoffman. Aliza Hoffman eagerly waves to me from the back seat. Under my watchful eye the couple exits the car and crosses over to me.

“Welcome.” I greet the couple.

“Hi Mrs. Salesback , I brought my older brother Aaron along on our visit today. I hope that's okay?” As David goes on, my superhero self senses a negative force among us.

When I look past my buyers, I spot David's big, burly brother settled against the vehicle's steel frame with his arms crossed before him. An implacable stare mar's his face. He glares at me as though I were the big bad wolf.

A third party on a viewing is a real hindrance. Conflicting viewpoints on one's dream place can really create havoc and discord. Yet, being the superhero that I am, I arm myself with a welcoming grin, extending my hand in his direction. I step off the curb and meet my adversary head on.

“Hello there, I'm Stacey Salesback.” Kindness and manners are great combating tools. The subject never sees you coming.

“Aaron Hoffman,” He grumbles sullenly, as he accepts my thin manicured fingers into his large calloused hand.

“I heard you will be giving us your expertise on the property today,” A little flattery can't hurt.

“I sure intend to.” He answers pretentiously.

God help me! Could this overgrown oaf honestly give an objective opinion? If I want to save this couple from their horrendous fate in the hands of this lummox, I must transform myself into Stacey Salesback Champion defender of little home buyers everywhere. This is the pinnacle moment where our storybook friends turn into their superhero self. In real life, though, there is no somatic transition. I just have to wait patiently. The imbecile will hang himself with his own words.

“Hey, you two let's go see the house.” David urges us impatiently.

I turn to go. When I feel two brawny hands grasp my shoulders halting me. “I’m here to protect my little brother's interests.” Aaron cautions me.

“Funny thing,” I grin wickedly, “I’m here for that same reason.” The scowl I give him should warn him of his impending doom. If he misses the heads up, so be it.

While we visit the immaculate dwelling, Aaron twists his nose up at roughly everything. Luckily for me, I know my buyers well. This home falls right into their tastes. Hence, while he continues his house bashing bit, I offer a little word here and there just to make sure he fumbles up completely. Sometimes people need a little help securing the noose around their neck.

As we visit the lavish garden, I lose sight of the evil force that persists in costing his brother and sister-in-law their perfect home. Ordinarily, I would have looked for him. However, this frees me to salvage my sale. Besides, he must be here somewhere.

Strolling through the yard, I confidently comment on the property's good qualities without any negative input. Consequently, I begin to enumerate all the reasons why this home remains the best option for them when I half turn and hit a tree. Who would put a tree next to a dug in pool?

I pivot just in time to see my colossal tree spiral off the pool's edge. The big oaf hits the water producing a tsunami wave. I hold back the impulse to laugh as I catch his dagger like glare.

“Help me.” He shouts, “I can't swim.”

Oh for Pete's sake. He probably can stand in the pool. A devious smile tugs at my lips. I mute my grin instantly when I notice my buyers' horrified frowns. Personally, I felt the big oaf deserved a clearing of the mind. How better than a cold unexpected bath?

“Miss Salesback do something.” David placates with me.

This calls for Superhero Stacey. Without further thought, I kick off my heels and plunge head first into the water after Mr. Tall, Dark and Clueless.  How dreadful, Jean Pierre would be flabbergasted to know his beautiful work on my hair this morning had just been eradicated. I hope to God, the chlorine doesn't turn my hair green. When I reach the big oaf, I order him to stand. He obeys me and stands. There is hope for him yet. Bashfully, he piggybacks me over to the pools edge and sets me down.

My patience is wearing thin, when I notice his dumbstruck gaze on me. For Pete’s sake, I just saved his sorry ass. What else does he want from me? I decide to avoid him.  When I turn to my buyers, the same flustered grin greets me.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“We can see your undergarments through your wet clothes,” Aliza Hoffman murmurs her cheeks tinged with shyness. My eyes drop. I see that through the waterlogged material my skivvies have come forth and are visible to everyone. Embarrassment floods my insides as Sasquatch continues to gape at me. I scan my surroundings for a hole I could crawl into. In the absence of a hole, I dart towards the house. I wrap myself in a towel and exit the property head held high.

The next day the Hoffman’s and I rendezvous to close the deal, without big brother Aaron.  Aliza had had enough of his negative antics. Superhero Stacey Salesback has saved the day once more, ridding the world of the evil negative forces plaguing home buyers and their future dream homes. 

Several days later Aaron Hoffman paid me a little visit, persuading me to have coffee with him. Against my better judgment, I accept. I soon realize he has two qualities I might have overlooked. He worships the ground I walk on and comes bearing gifts. Talk about multitasking, I fought the evil forces which threatened to destroy my little buyers' dream home and I hooked me a live one in the process. My superhero self really outdid herself this time.