Today, I'm heading to Telluride, Colorado, for the annual Telluride Bluegrass Festival. My roommates and I bought tickets way back in December, and six months later, the time has come for us to load our gear up and drive the 7-9 hours into the mountains for four days of fun and banjos. We've been looking forward to this festival for a long time, and it's finally arrived. You could say that we're anxious to get to Telluride.
You could say that, but you'd be mostly wrong.
Photo by Sasha Wolff
Anxious is synonymous with worrying. Believe me when I say that we are the opposite of worried about this trip. We're excited about it, we're looking forward to it, but we're definitely not nervous.
Merriam-Webster has decided that anxious is also defined as “ardently or earnestly wishing,” which is an example of the ever-evolving nature of the English language. Because people are using anxious to mean “ardently or earnestly wishing,” Webster's jumped on the bandwagon and decided that the people create the language.
We do create the language, and new words are added to the dictionary all the time (frenemy, anyone?), but connotation is still important when deciding what word to use. Anxious has a context of impatience or worry, even though we also now associate it with a strong wish. I wouldn't describe my roommates and I as anxious to get to Telluride, because that implies a lot more impatience and stress than we're currently experiencing.
The important thing is to know what your character is feeling in the moment. If anxious is the way to summarize their sentiments, then go for it! But if they're feeling more carefree, then choose a different adjective to describe their emotions.
PRACTICE
Write about an anxious group of friends on their way to Telluride, Colorado. Why are they anxious? Do they have good reason for it? Are they being chased by a psychopathic trucker bent on their demise, perchance?
Write for fifteen minutes, paying special notice to your word choice. When you're finished, post your practice in the comments section.
And if you post, share the love and comment on a few other practices.
Hope you have an anxiety free day!
You’ve (inadvertently?) triggered one of my greatest anxieties… You wrote “I wouldn’t describe my roommates and I as anxious,” which most certainly makes me anxious.
Should it be “my roommates and me?” Or “my roommates and myself?” Or do you stand by “my roommates and I,” and if so, why? (It just sounds wrong to me, but I’m not sure why.)
Personally, this is the part where I usually just punt and say “I wouldn’t describe my roommates as anxious, much less myself.” 🙂
Congratulations, Hugh. You’ve caught Liz at her own game. And the best part is, she’s on the road to Telluride and can’t fix it.
It should be, “I wouldn’t describe my roommates and myself as anxious.”
The easiest way to figure it out is to take out the roommates. You wouldn’t say, “I wouldn’t describe I as anxious,” right? You’d say, “I wouldn’t describe myself as anxious.”
Great catch, Hugh!
🙂
This is a monumental moment in Write Practice history! Well done, Hugh!
And yes, Joe’s right: “my roommates and myself” even though it sounds clunky. Take out the “and whoever” (in this case, roommates), form the sentence correctly, then add them into the mix again.
Katie
Thank you Joe! I constantly wonder about the I, me or myself choice too!!
As they finished packing the car for the road trip to Telluride, they talked about how excited they were about the Bluegrass Festival, as well as the hiking and other activities they had planned. But inwardly, each was anxious about the trip.
Tom had grown up there, and had a few run-ins with some of the shadier characters in town in his misspent youth. He hoped that he wouldn’t meet any of them, or things could get ugly. He knew the outdoor activities were safe enough. They weren’t the kind to be doing anything healthy. But the festival was another matter. They might be there in the crowd peddling drugs. Odds are they wouldn’t bump into each other. But he still couldn’t get it out of his mind.
Dave couldn’t stop thinking about his ex. They had met at the festival, and fallen in love. At least they thought it was love at the time. But the split had been nasty, and this was his first time back since. He knew she’d be at the festival. What would happen if they ran into each other? The last thing he wanted was a big public scene.
John kept thinking about his family. He knew he should visit them while he was in town. But he hadn’t left on good terms with his dad. Had enough time passed for them to put it behind them? Would they welcome him, or would it turn into another fight? Maybe he should just stay away. But it was a small town. He was bound to be seen by someone who knew him. His parents would hear that he had been there. Would they be hurt or angry that he hadn’t come to visit? He couldn’t decide what to do.
I like the clarity of this. I know exactly what each person is thinking. It might be better to add some activity to break up the exposition, but overall it sounds like it could be quite an interesting get together.
Thanks, Marianne. You’re right, it needs some dialogue and activity. Trying to stick to the 15 minutes (not counting time to look up Telluride on Wikipedia 8^), so I only edited for typos.
I know what you mean . I meant if you worked on it further, it sounds like you have some good potential here. It might turn into a lot more than an exercise. It is almost impossible to get out something great in 15 minutes though. That’s for sure.
It’s a good observation, though. It’s the kind of constructive criticism I’m hoping to get to help me improve. I realized too that I was telling instead of showing, saying they’re anxious instead of showing their anxiety.
I love how each character has a big question looming over them. You’ve capture the anxious feeling – excited and nervous at the same time. Have they been honest with each other about their anxieties? What will happen, I wonder…
Thanks Heather.
R.E, to me, it’s the ‘beat’ of the continual thoughts grinding on that raise the emotion to anxiety level. Good job.
Thanks, Yvette.
RE, I like the premise of this, that each character has a clearly defined issue that is unrelated and yet united by the place/ journey/ trip. Well done. Flesh it out a bit for us! 😉
Thanks Suzie, I might do that. Maybe it’ll end up relevant to one of the contests here.
Stella and her belly were doing flip flops, as in she was practicing that shoe shuffle dance so popular at bluegrass festivals in her flip-flops and failing miserably and her stomach, God bless it, was a tightly wound as a Jack-in-a-box.
Daniel was filling the saddle-bags in an intricate pattern, weaving each item so everything needed for the road trip was accounted for. He looked up at the sky, the beautiful blue sky and brilliant sunshine polar opposites to how he was feeling. A damp, grey day in England was how he felt. An uneasiness was eating into his core.
Brian picked up Star and they rode over to Stella’s. The radio mic was on but neither spoke. The chasm between them could not be seen, as Star clung to Brian’s back, but it was palpable to them both.
The four friends rode all day on their way to Telluride, stopping off at Grand Junction for the night. Most of it spent in silence as they slept in sleeping bags like sardines in the tiny motel room. Daniel only spoke to say not a bad time from Fort Morgan.
Brian said he was sorry when he tripped over Stella. Star did not speak at all but was sick twice. Stella kept going into the bathroom to practice the dance, she wished she had her fiddle but they had decided not to unpack the instruments.
By this time tomorrow with Daniel on mandolin, Stella on fiddle, Star on banjo and Brian on bass, their four voices, (high lead, tenor, baritone and Star’s beautiful dissonant soprano) harmonising their own material on the Elks Park Stage, they would know if “Blow the Vault” could become the next big thing.
Just like they dreamed of last year when they lost Virginia and Virgil on the journey over from Fort Morgan, they hadn’t performed and spent the next twelve months rejigging the set without two guitars and without their best friends.
I love how the tone changes and deepens in this piece. In the beginning, it’s the external anxiety, and it changes slowly and quietly to the sadness of losing their friends. You have portrayed the silence and unease in this really well.
thanks zo-zo
Suzie you just are great with description. I can see all this very clearly. I also like the way the personalities of the characters are showing up as you describe their behavior. Very well done.
thanks Marianne
Nice, Suzie. I know a little about each of these characters in such a short time. Love this: “A damp, grey day in England was how he felt.” I KNOW that feeling. The details you added put me in the scene. Great job!
Thanks Heather – you in blighty?
I like how the tension between them was obvious from the start, but we didn’t know why until the end.
thanks RE – what is an Aspie? someone from Aspen?
It’s shorthand for someone with Asperger’s syndrome, an autism spectrum disorder. It’s like a high-functioning form of autism, with no intellectual impairment, but with impaired social skills and other quirks. I hide it well after many years of practicing. I can seem almost normal when I want to 8^)
Savannah’s honey auburn hair caught in the car door as she
pulled it shut. “I swear, I’m cutting it.”
“Don’t. I live vicariously through your hair,” Piper said
from the back seat. “If I had your hair, I’d throw a party just so people could
admire it.”
“Remind me why we brought her again,” Savannah said,
thumb-pointing behind me.
“Because I’m a bundle of a laughs.”
“Didn’t ask you.”
“Guys. Please. We have a six-hour trip to Telluride. We
haven’t even left my driveway.” I turned the temperature colder and the blower
up a notch. My artichoke green bungalow with its Wright-infused accents and
manicured lawn drifted out of sight as we pulled away. The For Sale sign glared
at me through the side mirror. “I brought her because she’s my friend. And it’s
what he wanted.”
Savvy reached across the console but I grabbed her hand midair.
“Don’t pat me.” I turned in my seat and faced Piper. “And no tears. Because if
you start, then I’ll start and won’t stop. And that’s not why we’re doing this.”
“I can’t promise,” Piper said.
“You have to. Now. Or we will leave you here. Promise me. No
tears.”
“Fine. No tears.”
“Danny’s orders.”
I hadn’t said his name in a week. Danny. The oak box with stained glass mural of Telluride’s
mountainscape rested in my lap. I traced the lines of the peaks and closed my
eyes. Help me through this, Danny. Help
me to leave you on that mountain where nine short years ago I found you.
This is nice, very sad, but well written I think. I think it would be good as part of a longer piece. The mood of the group seems a little too light and chatty for such a sad occasion but I think you have a great idea for a good story here.
Thanks, Marianne. I appreciate your comments! I have a tendency to write short pieces that won’t leave me alone and then end up working them into something bigger. Ugh. Thanks, also, for the suggestion about the tone at the beginning. 🙂
Heather it’s a sweet piece I just wasn’t sure it quite fitted ‘anxiety’ which seems more desperate….
A hair party! I like that. Like the sentiment in your piece, evocative of mourning.
Thanks so much! 🙂
I wanted her friends to be a stark contrast to the heaviness of her task.
It took precisely five minutes into the
journey for the trip to fall apart. It was on the fifth minute that
Jack told them why the trip was free.
‘I’ve got me some contacts,’ he said,
winking at Delia.
‘What kind of contacts?’ She said,
leaning backwards, her knees on the seat. Panic was her
automatic response to her boyfriend’s friend.
Jack flipped on the radio and shrugged.
He yanked the window all the way open and yelled into the wind, his
voice billowing with the blasts. Bobby and Delia exchanged a look.
They thought all that had been taken care of last year, in hospital.
‘Jack, common now. It’s freezing,’
Bobby shouted. Jack kept shouting. Bobby leaned over him,
keeping one hand on the wheel, and yanked the window shut. ‘Damnit,’
Bobby said, after veering into the oncoming lane. He glanced at
Delia in the back. She was now in the foetal position, rocking back
and forth, the seatbelt swaying with her.
‘Relax, Delia,’ Bobby said. ‘It’s fine,
isn’t it Jack?’ He glanced at Jack, who was smirking at the back
seat. Bobby gripped the steering wheel tighter and swallowed back
the choice words that were clambering up his throat. ‘Tell us a bit
about those contacts.’ He switched the music off.
Jack studied the velcro of his
oversized orange jacket, and started playing with it, the sound of
the ripping permeated the car. Bobby cleared his throat.
Jack turned towards Bobby and smiled.
‘I got me some magic in my bags,’ Jack
said. ‘But don’t worry, you don’t need to pay me nothing. I’ve got a kind heart.’ He turned to the back seat and
nodded at Delia. ‘I thought you needed a holiday.’
Bobby looked back at Delia. She sat
still, her veins popping out from her muted yellow top.
Jack winked at her. ‘All you need to do
is sell some magic for this here dream holiday. Easy money honey.’
Oh boy what a trip this crew is on. I like the way your describe Delia particularly. Her anxiety is apparent from the first line and it makes me want to read on toe see what she’s so anxious about. Thanks
Thanks Marianne… ja, Delia was my favourite!!
Some really nice phrasing here. Love this: “He yanked the window all the way open and yelled into the wind, his voice billowing with the blasts.” Great characters, too. I’d like to know what happens on their trip!
Thanks Heather! I appreciate that!! 🙂
I like 🙂 And yeah, they’re definitely in the anxious category
🙂 it should be bad that i have so much fun making people anxious!! 😉
Nah , don’t worry about it!
zo-zo I like the atmosphere in this, the what is not said, both are freezing like the weather. Well done
thanks Suzie!! 🙂
I’ve done three of your prompts now, but haven’t posted any because… I can’t seem to write a completed story in 15 minutes! Each one is 2-4 pages. Arrrg!
That’s a great problem to have, Jane! Glad you’re practicing 🙂