I recently started reading James Joyce's A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, which is, according to the back of my cheap copy, “one of the masterpieces of modern fiction.” The novel is confusing, and if I'm honest with myself, the only thing that kept me going through the first few pages was my discovery that it's ten times more entertaining if I read it aloud with an Irish accent.
The confusion is intentional, or at least a necessary by-product. It's like joining a conversation between two children. You know how kids will talk about people you don't know and expect you to know them?
They go off about how Myrtle bonked Billy's nose because he likes Tina and not Myrtle and that made Myrtle really mad and when Edna gets mad Edna slams doors and Tommy likes goldfish because they're never mad. That's how the first pages of A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man are.
Seven Ways to Play With Words
It's confusing, but also fun. Joyce is extremely playful with the language. Here is Joyce's “handbook” on playing with words like a child:
1. Talk about Animals
For example, the first sentence:
Once upon a time and a very good time it was there was a moocow coming along the road and this moocow that was coming down along the road met a nicens little boy named baby tuckoo….
Moocow? What if we called all animals by both their sound and name: Cawbird, Ruffdog, Meowcat, and Hiss-snake? Isn't that fun?
2. Tell Fairy Tales
Back to that first sentence, I like how he plays with the standard fairy tale line, making it much more fun: “Once upon a time and a very good time it was…”
3. Drop Your Commas
Did you notice, too, how he dropped his commas, giving it a childlike breathlessness?
4. Use Childlike Words
In the first pages, Joyce uses kid words like silvery and nice and mean.
5. Bounce From One Thought to Another
Childlike, he bounces from one memory to another in a blur:
Father Arnall knew more than Dante because he was a priest but both his father and uncle Charles said that Dante was a clever woman and a wellread woman. And when Dante made that noise after dinner and then put up her hand to her mouth: that was heartburn. A voice cried far out on the playground…
6. Focus on the Senses
He focuses on his senses, particularly on warmth or the lack of it.
“When you wet the bed at first it is warm then it gets cold.”
“It would be better to be in the study hall than out here in the cold.”
“He felt his whole body hot and confused in that moment.”
“O how cold and strange it was to think of that.”
“It would be lovely to be in bed after the sheets got a bit hot.”
“There was cold sunlight outside the window.”
7. Nicknames
Last thing: all the other kids have nicknames like “Nasty Roche” and “Cecil Thunder.”
As you can see, James Joyce is like a method actor, making his prose sound distinctly childlike. Can you add a childlike flare to your own writing?
PRACTICE
Practice writing like a child by talking about what happened to you yesterday. Use the techniques above (focus on senses, talk about animals, bounce from one thought to another…), and after you've written for fifteen minutes, post your practice in the comments.
This is fun. I’m gonna give it a try. 🙂
Do it! I hope you show it to us when you get done 🙂
This is fun. I’m gonna give it a try. 🙂
Do it! I hope you show it to us when you get done 🙂
Reading Joyce in an Irish accent is an amusing strategy, though I am uncertain if it is possible to read Ulysess.
I enjoying read this post, Joe.
Or Finnegans Wake? I think Joyce was very in tune with the rhythm and sound of his writing, but the idea of reading Ulysses or Finnegans cover to cover aloud is daunting indeed.
Thanks Rick.
Reading Joyce in an Irish accent is an amusing strategy, though I am uncertain if it is possible to read Ulysess.
I enjoying read this post, Joe.
Or Finnegans Wake? I think Joyce was very in tune with the rhythm and sound of his writing, but the idea of reading Ulysses or Finnegans cover to cover aloud is daunting indeed.
Thanks Rick.
yeah so my name’s kati and you see today i had to go to a class for a bunch of hours on a Saturday not because i was bad in school but because…well just because. and we got to learn about other kids who can’t see with their eyes, or maybe they can just a little but not very good. and we learned how to not push them or pull on them, but just be nice and go up to them first and ask them, like if it’s okay for us to touch them and maybe we can help them around the room. but its okay if they say no.
and also we’re supposed to tell them all about what we see around the room because they can’t see only we aren’t supposed to tell them too much because they might get confused if we never stop talking. and kids that can’t see sometimes can smell more stuff than most kids. it’s because they can use their noses and their ears to make up for their eyes not working good.
and then it was SNACK TIME! and we got to eat cookies and pretzels. and i had to put some carrots and strawberries on my plate. i did that to be nice but i didn’t really want to. and i got to drink pepsi.
mom never lets me drink pepsi at home.
and then carrie put the snacks that we didn’t eat in my car so we can eat them later. i hope i can have another cookie and maybe another pepsi before i have to go to bed. and then lucy, catee and me got in the car and then i thought i got lost on the way home, but i wasn’t really lost. and then we got to my house. and my friends got out of my car so they could go to their houses. and then the class was over.
and that’s it.
This is so fun, Kati. You do this voice really well. You should think about experimenting with it more. Did you enjoy writing like this? It seems like it flowed well, like it was very natural.
it is really natural…nice to know all the time spent texting and facebooking with my nieces has a secondary gain 🙂 suppose you’re right, it might serve me well to expand my skills for kids’ voice rather than my dudes-that-wanna-fight-over-a-girl voice!!! (ha)
Ha, no no no. Not saying that at all. I just think you have a knack for conversational tone and that you might want to pour into it more.
hmmm…interesting! As much as i love writing, i’ve never studied literature. how is conversational tone used? or i guess, any suggestions on how to pour into it?
By conversational tone, I just mean the way you wrote that passage. You wrote it like you talk. That’s all it means. If you want to read something that’s very conversational, check out Catcher in the Rye by Salinger. If you haven’t already read it, that is.
ok, i think i get it. awesome! i’m going to try it more, and with more confidence — now that i know it has a name. thanks for that! 🙂
oh and thanks for the Catcher in the Rye recommendation. it’ll be new for me. in high school the only classic i read was Old Man and the Sea. so there’s a WHOLE lot of uncharted waters out there, my literary friends tell me.
Yep. You’ve got a lot of fun books out there to read.
yeah so my name’s kati and you see today i had to go to a class for a bunch of hours on a Saturday not because i was bad in school but because…well just because. and we got to learn about other kids who can’t see with their eyes, or maybe they can just a little but not very good. and we learned how to not push them or pull on them, but just be nice and go up to them first and ask them, like if it’s okay for us to touch them and maybe we can help them around the room. but its okay if they say no.
and also we’re supposed to tell them all about what we see around the room because they can’t see only we aren’t supposed to tell them too much because they might get confused if we never stop talking. and kids that can’t see sometimes can smell more stuff than most kids. it’s because they can use their noses and their ears to make up for their eyes not working good.
and then it was SNACK TIME! and we got to eat cookies and pretzels. and i had to put some carrots and strawberries on my plate. i did that to be nice but i didn’t really want to. and i got to drink pepsi.
mom never lets me drink pepsi at home.
and then carrie put the snacks that we didn’t eat in my car so we can eat them later. i hope i can have another cookie and maybe another pepsi before i have to go to bed. and then lucy, catee and me got in the car and then i thought i got lost on the way home, but i wasn’t really lost. and then we got to my house. and my friends got out of my car so they could go to their houses. and then the class was over.
and that’s it.
This is so fun, Kati. You do this voice really well. You should think about experimenting with it more. Did you enjoy writing like this? It seems like it flowed well, like it was very natural.
it is really natural…nice to know all the time spent texting and facebooking with my nieces has a secondary gain 🙂 suppose you’re saying it might serve me well to expand my skills for kids’ voice rather than dudes-that-wanna-fight-over-a-girl voice!!! (ha)
Ha, no no no. Not saying that at all. I just think you have a knack for conversational tone and that you might want to pour into it more.
hmmm…interesting! As much as i love writing, i’ve never studied literature. how is conversational tone used? or i guess, any suggestions on how to pour into it?
By conversational tone, I just mean the way you wrote that passage. You wrote it like you talk. That’s all it means. If you want to read something that’s very conversational, check out Catcher in the Rye by Salinger. If you haven’t already read it, that is.
ok, i think i get it. awesome! i’m going to try it more, and with more confidence — now that i know it has a name. thanks for that! 🙂
oh and thanks for the Catcher in the Rye recommendation. it’ll be new for me. in high school the only classic i read was Old Man and the Sea. so there’s a WHOLE lot of uncharted waters out there, my literary friends tell me.
Yep. You’ve got a lot of fun books out there to read.
I didn’t get what I wanted. Mostly because the dumb-head kids were so loud and crying all the time. Peeton just cried and cried and cried, and he even cried his whiney baby face to sleep on the floor but then DAD came in and woked him up. And the whiney baby started crying all over again. He got snot and boogies and tears all over the carpet and the pillows AND even my favorite blankie.
If I could read the clock-thingie I’d be able to tell when they were going to leave so I could just do what I wanted. I hate that they are here, but then I feel all bad inside my heart cause I know they don’t have good lives like I did. My mommy and daddy weren’t so nice to me at times, but at least my daddy stayed at work and I didn’t have to go to the place with the bars on the windows to see them. I feel like that place would smell bad, like whiney-baby’s poopy diapers and daddy after he had worked outside all day.
But then whiney-baby Peeton was quiet, and when I went to look for them, I could see that whiney-baby’s mom was holding him and his dumb head brothers were in the car. They were leaving! I pretended to be sad to say goodbye but all I could think about was how I was going to be able to go in the warm house and make some hot chocolate. The kind with all the marshmellows that stick to your teeth when you drink it, and you have to use your tongue to get them off.
That’s my favorite kind of hot chocolate, you know.
Hey Kirsten. You definitely find that childlike voice here, especially with your word choice: boogies, clock-thingies, woked. I like how naive he is, almost clueless of what’s really going on, but that there is clearly something terribly wrong going on. I didn’t quite catch what it was though. Were the bars prison? Was his dad in prison at some point?
You should read Portrait of the Artist. I think you’d like it. It starts out exactly like this. We’re way into the character’s inner monologue and emotions. It’s stream of consciousness at its best and worst because it’s very confusing. then he flips a switch and gives us this completely realistic scene of an argument between his father and his governess. It’s incredible. We go from following along and not really getting it to getting everything.
Anyway, I liked your tone here. I think you captured him. I didn’t have a hard time believing this was a child talking. Nice job, Kirsten.
Thanks Joe! Yes, the child’s father was in prison, I can see how that may be confusing. If I continued with this story I’d try to clear that up again.
I’ll have to check out that book… sounds interesting.
Great prompt. This was a fun exercise to do.
I didn’t get what I wanted. Mostly because the dumb-head kids were so loud and crying all the time. Peeton just cried and cried and cried, and he even cried his whiney baby face to sleep on the floor but then DAD came in and woked him up. And the whiney baby started crying all over again. He got snot and boogies and tears all over the carpet and the pillows AND even my favorite blankie.
If I could read the clock-thingie I’d be able to tell when they were going to leave so I could just do what I wanted. I hate that they are here, but then I feel all bad inside my heart cause I know they don’t have good lives like I did. My mommy and daddy weren’t so nice to me at times, but at least my daddy stayed at work and I didn’t have to go to the place with the bars on the windows to see them. I feel like that place would smell bad, like whiney-baby’s poopy diapers and daddy after he had worked outside all day.
But then whiney-baby Peeton was quiet, and when I went to look for them, I could see that whiney-baby’s mom was holding him and his dumb head brothers were in the car. They were leaving! I pretended to be sad to say goodbye but all I could think about was how I was going to be able to go in the warm house and make some hot chocolate. The kind with all the marshmellows that stick to your teeth when you drink it, and you have to use your tongue to get them off.
That’s my favorite kind of hot chocolate, you know.
Hey Kirsten. You definitely find that childlike voice here, especially with your word choice: boogies, clock-thingies, woked. I like how naive he is, almost clueless of what’s really going on, but that there is clearly something terribly wrong going on. I didn’t quite catch what it was though. Were the bars prison? Was his dad in prison at some point?
You should read Portrait of the Artist. I think you’d like it. It starts out exactly like this. We’re way into the character’s inner monologue and emotions. It’s stream of consciousness at its best and worst because it’s very confusing. then he flips a switch and gives us this completely realistic scene of an argument between his father and his governess. It’s incredible. We go from following along and not really getting it to getting everything.
Anyway, I liked your tone here. I think you captured him. I didn’t have a hard time believing this was a child talking. Nice job, Kirsten.
Thanks Joe! Yes, the child’s father was in prison, I can see how that may be confusing. If I continued with this story I’d try to clear that up again.
I’ll have to check out that book… sounds interesting.
Great prompt. This was a fun exercise to do.
Minnehaha falls was blue only like frozen water could be. She had been minding her own business tumbling down a rock ledge when BOOM! Cold crept in and froze her solid.
Tree branches stuck out of her solid icicles in a spooky way crawling at me like spindly spiders.
Bundled tight in coat and mittens I slipped down the icy slide right onto the frozen pool spinning like a top.
After the hot rush of embarrassment melted away, I wobbled to my feet and pulled out the rusty old camera.
It did not take long for tiny songbirds to join me playfully tweeting little tunes to the rhythm of my film clicking.
All in all, I enjoyed Minnehaha very much although I think she would prefer to be released from Cold’s grasp.
Minnehaha falls was blue only like frozen water could be. She had been minding it’s own business tumbling down a rock ledge when BOOM! the cold crept in and froze her solid.
Tree branches stuck out in a spooky way crawling at me like spindly spiders.
Bundled tight in coat and mittens I slipped down the icy slide right onto the frozen pool spinning like a top.
After the hot rush of embarrassment melted away, I wobbled to my feet and pulled out the rusty old camera.
It did not take long for tiny songbirds to join me playfully tweeting little tunes to the rhythm of my camera clicking.
All in all, I enjoyed Minnehaha very much although I think she would prefer to be released from her frozen prison.
Cold will you let her go pleeeease?
In class today Mrs. Mills told us to write the story of how our day was like so I’m writing it now. Mom made me toast for breakfast and I put honey on it because I like it and eat toast and honey every morning. When I got to school it was maths swimming playtime and english where Mrs. Mills told me to write the story. Mean Frances took my cards and made fun of me she said only stupid boys liked them and her dad was rich and could get her better presents. I was angry and I wanted to shout but Mrs. Mills was there and I didn’t want to get into trouble even though I was really angry. Mean Frances was really mean because she would say mean things to me and if I put my tongue out at her she cries and calls Mrs. Mills and says I’m being mean. But when she took my crayons I got really angry and I snatched them back and she shouted MRS. MILLS and Mrs. Mills’s face was disappointed with me. She was wearing a yellow and black dress which made her look like a bee especially because she was so fat. I don’t like bees and they scare me even though I like honey one day I was playing with my cards next to Mom’s flower bushes and a bee came and nearly stung me and I was scared. But Mrs. Mills doesn’t sting because she is a grown-up and she doesn’t shout at anybody even though Mean Frances deserves shouting and time-out. Mean Frances isn’t the only one who makes fun of me but if anybody makes fun of me I hit them when Mrs. Mills isn’t looking and the Mean One hits me back I’m not a tell-tale like Mean Frances so I just fight and don’t run to teachers.
He woshed and wished his head grumbling and cawing as he tried to wake up.
“Mom,” he pouted and scratched his hairy armpits. “I don’t wanna wake up.”
But Mommy wasn’t there. Mommy had to go and do some busyness with Daddy. “Oh yeah.”
He made un ugly face and sniffed himself. Mommy always said to take baths to be a good boy.
“Wait, why I am calling for Mom? I’m an adult.” Try as he want to, this guy opened his eyes and crawl away from the comfy bed and pillows and meet Mr. Sun but he’s a lazy bum. “Ugh,” He said the Mr. Softy the pillow, but Mr. Softy didn’t like him so he remained shut up.
Nara and Sandy, two cute puppydogs that are really very cute barked at him. He’s a bad master. The puppydogs want some food.
“Later,” He shooed with his hands. “Go, go.” Then he made a sound like a grumble or a whining. He always does that, when he’s not very happy. He’s not very happy a lot of times. Like like yesterday when he talked to this old lady.
“She’s not that old.”
And she laughed at him.
“Ugh,” Then grumbwhineled. He’s a grumblwhiner. “I have a spitting headache.”
With Mommy gone he’s gonna turn on the stove and put the pan and put the eggs and tuna and cook over the burning fires. So he uses the can opener thingy and boiled the egg in the boiling water in the boiling cooker.
“Yeap, it’s called ‘boiling cooker’ alright.” The puppydogs were sitting and looking and barking. He’s a bad master. “Later doggies. I’m not feeling it this morning. I feel like I ate something bad yesterday.”
Mommy was mad at me tomorrow because I forgetted to close the revrigerator and the ice cream meltet and she telled me that I should be more cartful but it’s okay too because then she kissed my head and telled me that I was a good kid and that she will buy another ice cream… one that won’t melt!
So we’re going to the superman-keet to buy more but we crossed Mary Ann in the street who gave me a pack of gummies and mom has this funny look on her face and she gets all red and smiles weirdly because she never lets me have gummies because she says they’re bad for my tummy and I think she just don’t like to wash my teeth and I know mom don’t like Mary Ann a great deal.
Anyway we found the ice cream aisle and it smells yummy and it’s all colourful and nice but I just want to go home to see Frozen again because ice creams remind me of it and I think it’s a good movie and all my friends like it but Andrew don’t because he’s a big boy and Andrew annoys me because that’s what big brothers do and mother always tells his to put a lid on his mouth and I don’t know what she means by that but she’s an awesome mom! And Andrew is an annoying big bro.
I’ll try to convince mommy to let me eat the gummies later because they’re bear gummies and they’re my favourite because they’re colourful and all sweet and I love sweets! And Frozen too and my teddy bear and my mommy and daddy. I don’t love Andrew because he alwayses blows strawberries on my food when mommy’s not looking.