Premise: The First Step To Writing Your Book

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When you get a cool idea for a writing project, it's tempting to just dive in and start writing. But whether you're writing a novel, an essay, a book, or even a screenplay, you will save yourself time and end up with a better piece if you create a solid premise before you put pen to paper.

Premise: The First Step to Writing a Book

One quick note before we begin: writing a strong premise is the first step to writing a book. The second step is structuring your book. To learn more about how to structure a bestselling, award-winning book, check out The Write Structure, my new book how to apply the timeless structure principles of bestselling stories to your book. You can get it here for a limited time low price.

What is a Premise? Premise Definition

Before we talk about why you should write a premise, let's talk about what a premise actually is. For the purposes of our writing, here's a definition of a premise for writers:

A single sentence summary of the central plot or argument of a story, book, or other writing piece.

In the screenwriting world, this is called a log line, and the purpose is to take your whole idea and summarize it down to a single sentence.

By the way, if you're curious, here are the dictionary definitions of premise:

  1. “A proposition supporting or helping to support a conclusion,” according to Dictionary.com
  2. “The fundamental concept that drives the plot,” according to Wikipedia
  3. When plural (premises), a property or building, e.g. “Get off my premises!”

As writers, we of course care most about the first two premise definitions. You can see, too, there are different definitions depending on if you're writing fiction or nonfiction. That's because premises are extremely useful whether you're writing stories or nonfiction.

But maybe you're wondering why this matters. Let's talk about why you should start with a premise sentence.

Prefer to watch this guide? Check out our YouTube video:

Why You Should Write a Premise Sentence First: 5 Reasons to Write a Premise

Writing a premise first can change everything for your writing process. Here's why:

1. A Premise Simplifies Your Idea

Most new writers have complicated, ambitious ideas. However, great stories are simple! They might look complicated to the reader, but most bestselling books have a simple, clear foundation.

Complicated, ambitious ideas are challenging to actually finish, and if you're a new writer, the most important thing you can do to practice and become a better writer is to finish your book!

That's why if you're writing your first book (or even your tenth), the best thing you can do is to simplify your idea.

And the best way to simplify your central idea is to write it as a single, sentence premise.

2. A Premise Becomes the Foundation of Your Book

You have to make a lot of decisions when you're writing a book. Should you add a new subplot? Does this bit of research fit into your article?

A premise gives you a foundation upon which you can judge those decisions. If you're not sure whether to add or remove something, you can ask, does this fit the premise? If not, delete!

3. A Premise Gets You Unstuck When the Writing is Hard

Writing is hard. Writing a book with hundreds of pages is even harder!

At some point during the writing process, it's very likely you will get lost. You won't know what to write next. You may not even know what your book is about anymore.

When that happens, you can come back to your premise and remember, “Oh yeah! That's what my book is about!”

4. A Premise Helps You Get Feedback

Have you ever had someone ask you what your book is about and had no idea what to tell them? You start explaining, but then a few minutes in you watch as their eyes glaze over and they make an excuse to leave?

Here's the thing: no one wants to hear a five-minute book idea. (That includes agents, editors, and publishers.)

Your premise becomes your elevator pitch, a quick way to describe what your book is about without boring the listener.

And that means, a developed premise can become an idea testing methodology, helping you get more feedback before it ever becomes a finished product.

And that will help you make your book better.

5. A Premise Can Get You Published

Did you know a single-sentence premise is one of the most important part of a book proposal and query letter?

A good premise can literally get you published.

I make every writer in our community write a premise when they're first getting started with their book. What's amazing is that months or years later, when they're finally ready to publish, they tell me, “OH! That's why you made us write a premise. You actually know what you're doing!”

Well, yeah!

Now that you know why you should write premise, how do you actually write one? Let's break it down into the three types of premises you might write:

  1. Premise for a story (novel, screenplay, short story)
  2. Memoir premise
  3. Nonfiction premise (book, article, essay)

Use the links above or scroll down to find the type of premise you're writing. Let's start with the premise of a story.

Premise of a Story: 4 Steps to Writing a Bestselling Story Idea

If you're writing a story, whether a novel, short story, or screenplay, you must summarize your entire story concept into a single sentence. Let's start with a few examples of premises for a story.

Film or Novel Premise Examples

The Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum:

A young girl is swept away to a magical land by a tornado and must embark on a quest to see the wizard who can help her return home.

Hunger Games:

A rebellious survivalist voluntarily takes her younger sister's place in the Hunger Games: a televised competition in which teenagers from each of the twelve Districts of Panem are chosen to fight to the death.

Finding Nemo:

After his son is captured in the Great Barrier Reef and taken to Sydney, a timid clownfish sets out on a journey to bring him home.

You might be wondering, how do you take a whole story and turn it into a killer premise? You must have four things:

1. A Protagonist In Two Words

Compelling stories have engaging characters, and in your premise, you must identify and describe your protagonist, your central character, in just two words. Here's the formula:

An adjective + a noun

What does that look like practically? Here are some examples of central characters from actual stories:

  • young girl = Dorothy Gale
  • rebellious survivalist = Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games
  • maverick vampire = Edward Cullen from Twilight
  • FedEx executive = Tom Hanks' character in Cast Away

Remember, you're not giving away the entire character arc here. Instead just focus on two words that capture the heard of the central character.

What if I have more that one main character?

If you have more than one main character, as is often true for love stories, for example, you can either describe both in two words or describe them as a couple, e.g. “star-crossed lovers” in Romeo and Juliet.

If you have more than two protagonists, you must either describe them as a group/team (e.g. “a team of teenage mutant turtles” or as perhaps even the realm or world itself (e.g. “the kingdom of Westeros”).

However, be careful about this as it can make the writing much more difficult. Keep in mind, George R.R. Martin has been working on A Song of Ice and Fire for more than twenty years and it still isn't finished.

2. A Goal

Next you need to identify what the protagonists goal is. What do they want?

For example, Dorothy's goal is to return home after getting swept away by a tornado. Katniss' goal is to save her sister from the Hunger Games. Tom Hanks' goal is to get off the deserted island.

What is your characters goal?

Note that their goal may change throughout the story, but you usually want to identify in the premise is  the one they have right after the inciting incident. (Not sure what that is? Check out our inciting incident guide here.)

3. A Situation or Crisis

Next, identify the situation, crisis, antagonist, or core conflict in the story.

Here you usually focus on one of two major story elements: the inciting incident or the climax of the story. If you're not sure what the core structure elements of your story are, check out our guide on plot structure here.

Examples of this element from popular stories include:

  • A volcano erupts in Los Angeles (Volcano)
  • Swept away to a magical land by a tornado and must embark on a quest (Oz)
  • contest in which children must fight to the death (Hunger Games)
  • a hunter-vampire stalks Bella leading the entire Cullen family to defend her (Twilight)

Have more examples? Leave them in the comments and we'll add them to the list!

Note: It's ok to give spoilers!

4. The Special Sauce

Agents and editors at publishing houses receive thousands of pitches for books. Screenwriting agents and producers receive thousands of pitches and screenplays.

When I've asked them why the choose the books or screenplays to publish or produce, they inevitably say something like this:

There's just something about the story. Something special that set it apart.

For the most part, I find this to be an unhelpful answer. However, after reading thousands of stories by professional and amateur writers myself, even judging more than a dozen writing contests, I sort of get it.

Winning, bestselling, blockbuster stories always are well written, highly crafted. But that's not all that sets them apart. There's also just something unique about them.

That thing might be a different way of looking at the world, a unique character voice, an interesting take on current events, a distinctive style, or some other aspect that sets it apart from the pack.

How do you figure out your special sauce?

I have no idea (apart from practice, which as you can probably imagine, I'm a huge fan of). However, the one thing I can say is the answer is not to add more complications. Great stories, and great premises, are simple!

Now that we've covered how to write the premise of a story, let's talk about how to write a premise for everyday life!

Premise for Memoirs: 4 Steps to a Bestselling Memoir Idea

As someone who has written a memoir, I tell all my memoir students that writing a book about your life is one of the hardest challenges you can take on as a writer.

You think it's going to be easy. It's your life after all.

The problem is that because you know what happened, simplifying it becomes almost impossible.

This is why premises are especially important for memoir writers.

Here are a few examples of premises for memoirs:

Memoir Premise Examples

Crowdsourcing Paris, by J.H. Bunting (that's me!):

When a cautious writer is forced by his audience to do uncomfortable adventures in Paris, he learns the best stories come when you get out of your comfort zone.

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert:

After a painful divorce, a lonely dreamer takes off on a round-the-world journey to find herself through three methods—eating, praying, and loving—by way of three countries: Italy, India, and Indonesia.

Now that we've seen some examples, let's look at how to write a memoir premise in four steps:

1. A Core Problem or Situation

Good memoirs are about one problem you faced in your life, one situation, event, season, or even day.

This is the biggest challenge, because how do you narrow your life experience down to a single problem or situation?

And yet, a book about your entire life story, from birth to the present, is much less interesting than it sounds.

Find the problem you were facing in your life, ideally a problem many others are experiencing even now, and focus your storytelling on that.

2. A Character (Likely You)

As with the novel premise, memoirs focus on a character, described in third person with two words:

An adjective + a noun

For example, in my memoir Crowdsourcing Paris, it was a “cautious writer.”

Do the same.

3. A Lesson Learned

Unlike novels, memoirs must convey some kind of life lesson. Some memoirs are completely focused on this, are more how-to/self-help books than narrative driven. Others focus primarily on the story, letting the lesson peak out only occasionally.

Nearly all memoirs, even the celebrity tell-alls, are about some kind of life lesson.

4. The Special Sauce

Anyone can write a memoir. What makes the published, bestselling memoirs is something different, something special. It's hard to articulate, but usually for memoir they have something of the following:

  • Celebrity.” Bookstores are full of celebrity memoirs, from Michelle Obama to Justin Bieber to Will Smith. One editor, after she passed on my book, asked me why it couldn't be more like Hilarie Ros Burton's memoir, the actress from One Tree Hill. “Hmm,” I thought, “I can't think of a reason.” Celebrities can also include social media stardom or being well-known in a small, but specific niche. However, most of us are not celebrities. So what other options do we have to make our memoirs special?
  • Authority. Are you an expert in your professional field? Are you a well-regarded expert in some niche? (Or do you want to be seen as one?) Writing a memoir, especially a more how-to, self-help driven memoir, can be a great way to both build and profit off of your authority.
  • A Unique Experience or Perspective. My friend Marion Roach Smith wrote an NY Times bestselling memoir based on the experience of her mother receiving one of the first Alzheimer's diagnoses, a disease which was fairly unknown at the time. Have you experienced something no one else has? That might be your special sauce.
  • A Unique Voice or Style. Some voices are so unique, so impactful that they capture attention. It's hard to say why. I think about Ernest Hemingway's mentor, Gertrude Stein, who wrote one of the most famous memoirs of the early 20th century, or One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp (or for that matter, the memoirs of Annie Dillard—my favorite—and Anne Lamott, since we're talking about variations of A names). If people say, “There's just something about your writing style that I love,” then maybe this can be your special sauce.
  • Something else.Yes, I know this is vague and unhelpful. The problem is that no one can truly explain why some book ideas stand out and others don't.

Don't have any of these things? That's ok! You can still write your memoir. You just might find that agents and editors aren't very interested in it. As someone who's memoir was rejected by dozens of publishers, many of whom commented on the strength of the writing and story, I will say your story is still worth writing!

The best thing you can do is your best, treat the writing like practice, and learn from it as much as you can so that you're more prepared to write you next book.

Last, let's talk about how to write a compelling argument for a nonfiction book, essay, or article.

Premise for Nonfiction Writers

For nonfiction writers, your premise is a two- to three-sentence summary of the main argument or narrative of the book. Here's what Michael Hyatt says in his guide Writing a Winning Non-Fiction Book Proposal:

The premise is a two- or three-sentence statement of the book’s basic concept or thesis. Usually, it identifies the need and then proposes a solution.

Since this is the first part of every book proposal, it's important to get it right. For example, for the last month I've been working and re-working mine for a book that I'm ghostwriting, trying to cast the right vision for our future book.

Here's an example nonfiction premise from my book The Write Structure:

The Write Structure utilizes The Write Practice’s (thewritepractice.com) award-winning methodology to show creative writers how to write their best novels, memoirs, short stories, or screenplays by following story structure principles used and taught by writers for hundreds of years.

A compelling premise for a nonfiction piece must contain four things:

1. A Felt Problem or Situation

Great nonfiction books are about problems. You think they're about solutions, but until you identify the problem that your reader's are experiencing and demonstrate that you understand it, no one will trust you with their time and attention.

Furthermore, this problem must be felt by the reader. You might think that people have a problem with being too busy, for example, and that your book about saying no is perfect for them. But unless you describe the problem in terms people are actually experiencing, they won't stay long enough to hear the solution to their “problem.”

2. A Person or Group with Authority

Who discovered the solution to the problem? You or someone else?

Once you identify the problem, briefly describe in a few words the person or group providing the solution.

This might be you the author, a case study, a profile, or the subject of the book.

3. A Solution or Method that Works

What is your unique method that you will demonstrate in this book to solve the problem?

Describe it in a few words.

4. Special Sauce

Finally, as with memoirs and novels, there must be something special, something unique that will set your book apart. Usually this will be one of the following:

  • Authority. Are you a leader in your field? Are you a well-regarded expert in some niche? (Or do you want to become one?) Writing a non-fiction book can be a great way to both build and profit off of your authority.
  • Unique Experience. Have you experienced something no one else has that you now want to share with others?
  • Proven Solution. Can you demonstrate real results with your solution to people's felt problem?
  • A Large Audience. Do you already have a large following, whether through an email list, social media, or other following?

Don't have any of these things? That's ok! A book can be a great way to build up your authority and audience. However, you may have to pursue self-publishing.

Now, the Most Important Step: Test Your Premise to See If It's GOOD

Writing your premise is just the first step. Next you have to test it to see if it's interesting.

How do you test it? I learned this from Blake Snyder, the late screenwriter and author of Save the Cat.

Here's what you do: you share it with people. You share it with your family and friends. You share it with co-workers and random strangers at your local coffee shop.

You ask them, “Hey, what do you think? Would you read this book?”

And if enough people say yes, then you might be ready to start writing. If enough people say no, on the other hand, then you might need to re-work your premise.

There are two objections I hear when I ask people to do this, though:

1. What if someone steals my premise?

What if people steal my idea? What if someone takes my idea and writes a book with it and becomes a famous bestselling writer, and I’m left out.

Honestly, this isn’t something you should be worried about, and here’s why. Because if two people started with the exact same idea, what would happen is they would write completely different books!

Don’t worry about people stealing your idea. Worry about your ideas not getting the feedback they need to get better. Worry about your ideas not getting written in the first place.

2. What if people hate my premise?

If that happens to you, I just want to say I’m sorry, but also that it’s a really good thing, it’s a good thing you found out now before you started writing a book, than after you finished.

Writing a book takes a really long time, hundreds even thousands of hours. It’s great to know if your idea isn’t working BEFORE you start writing rather than after.

However, there's also a chance that they're just wrong. As Jeff Lyons, author of Anatomy of a Premise Line says, “Try everything; listen to everyone. Follow no one. You are your own story guru!”

More Examples of a Good Premise

Need more help on writing a strong premise? To practice writing a premise that will hook a reader, study how successful stories draft a premise. I like to look at IMDB or back covers for practice. You can see some examples I've pulled from these resources below (with some edits, if the name of the character is used post-production or publication instead of with a two-word description).

Fiction

  1. A rebellious survivalist voluntarily takes her younger sister's place in the Hunger Games: a televised competition in which teenagers from each of the twelve Districts of Panem are chosen to fight to the death. (The Hunger Games)
  2. After his son is captured in the Great Barrier Reef and taken to Sydney, a timid clownfish sets out on a journey to bring him home. (Finding Nemo)
  3. An ill-tempered, isolated retiree who spends his days enforcing block association rules and visiting his wife's grave, has finally given up on life just as an unlikely friendship develops with his boisterous new neighbors. (A Man Called Ove)

Memoir

  1. A chronicle of one woman's one thousand one hundred mile solo hike undertaken as a way to recover from a recent personal tragedy. (Wild)
  2. After a painful divorce, a lonely dreamer takes off on a round-the-world journey to find herself through three methods—eating, praying, and loving—by way of three countries: Italy, India, and Indonesia. (Eat, Pray, Love)
  3. An idealistic young neurosurgeon attempts to answer the question: What makes a life worth living? in a memoir that finds hope in beauty against insurmountable odds. (When Breath Becomes Air)

Nonfiction

  1. The story of a team of female African-American mathematicians who served a vital role in NASA during the early years of the U.S. space program. (Hidden Figures)
  2. A revered journalist takes on an intellectual journey through the world of “outliers” — the best and the brightest, the most famous, and the most successful. He asks the question: What makes high-achievers different? (Outliers)
  3. Everything you've ever wanted to know about publishing but were too afraid to ask in a funny, candid guide by one acclaimed author. (Before and After the Book Deal)

What Is Your Premise?

Do you want to write a book but aren't sure where to start? Are you working on a book now and need some help refocusing?

Regardless of where you are in the process, it's a good idea to spend some time writing a solid premise. You wouldn't build a house without laying a strong foundation. In the same way, don't start writing without writing a strong premise.

It might feel like an unnecessary step, but it will save you a lot of time in the long run. Give it a try!

Have you written a premise before? Do you have one for your work in progress? Let me know in the comments.

The Write StructureNeed more book writing help? Check out my new book The Write Structure which helps writers make their plot better and write books readers love. Low price for a limited time!

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PRACTICE

Today, practice writing a premise for a new book or for your work in progress. Depending on whether you write fiction or nonfiction, use the tips above. Then, when you're finished writing it, post your premise in the comments section for feedback. Afterward, read a few practices by other writers and let them know whether that's a book you'd like to read.

Happy writing!

Joe Bunting is an author and the leader of The Write Practice community. He is also the author of the new book Crowdsourcing Paris, a real life adventure story set in France. It was a #1 New Release on Amazon. Follow him on Instagram (@jhbunting).

Want best-seller coaching? Book Joe here.

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339 Comments

  1. Denise Golinowski

    For TARNISHED GOODS (working title), I offer this: When two shapeshifters on an awkward first date find themselves running for their lives, first impressions are shattered and hidden strengths revealed. Will they survive to their second date?

    Reply
    • Justine Manzano

      I like it! It’s very different! Is it comedic, or more on the serious side?

      Reply
      • Denise Golinowski

        Actually, it’s meant to be paranormal romantic suspense. But I can see how it could be twisted to humor. Thanks for the comment!

        Reply
        • Justine Manzano

          I was wondering, because, depending on what direction you go with the story, it could be either. Paranormal romantic suspense is one of my fave genres!

          Reply
    • Avril

      Denise this is an intriguing logline. Can’t wait to see more. I am mired in page length run on sentences. This logline will take me all day!

      Reply
    • Marilyn Ostermiller

      Great log line for this concept. If you wanted to make it one sentence, instead of the question you could write “first impressions are shattered and hidden strengths reveals, and their ability to survive long enough for a second date is in jeopardy. Just a thought.

      Reply
    • Cristi

      I love paranormal romance novels. I like this idea.

      Reply
    • Lisette Murphy

      Woah. Hold on! That sounds amazing! I love the sound of that!

      Reply
    • Cara Enete

      I hope they do live to go on a second date, but I have a sneaking suspicion they are going to have one hell of an experience that will bring them closer together than a second date every could. 🙂

      Reply
      • Denise Golinowski

        Thank you, Cara! Yes, but as with any romance, the second date not a given despite the bonding over first experiences. LOL

        Reply
    • Joe Bunting

      Haha! This is so great, Denise! I love the idea of shapeshifters on a first date.

      Reply
      • Denise Golinowski

        Thank you, Joe! It’s fun looking at first date pitfalls and upping the ante!

        Reply
  2. Justine Manzano

    For my novel, which is currently looking for a home with an agent/publisher, The Order of the Key: When Jacklyn Madison discovers she is the long lost member of a group that hunts interdimensional creatures, she becomes the prime weapon in a war between the group’s brutal leader and her idealistic son.

    Reply
    • Denise Golinowski

      Ooo! This sounds very intriguing. Is it adult or YA? The father/son thing made me leap to YA. Good luck with your search for an agent/publisher!

      Reply
      • Justine Manzano

        It’s YA, but the group’s leader is actually his mother and she is tough as nails and just as friendly. 🙂 Thank you for your comment and the well wishes.

        Reply
    • Cara Enete

      Yeah, that grabbed me and sucked me in! I love YA science fiction and fantasy, so this is right up my alley. I would definitely read this.

      Reply
      • Justine Manzano

        Wow, thanks! That’s great to hear!

        Reply
      • Justine Manzano

        Thank you! I hope agents think so, too! 🙂

        Reply
  3. Cristi

    I am writing a non fiction memoir about my son’s death. It is called “I wish I had known?” Being a therapist I am educated in grief, help people with grief, when my son died I realized everything I knew was wrong. From the way we treat people socially that have lost a loved one to minimizing the effects of such a loss. Telling my story will help other mother’s who have lost children realize they are not alone.

    Reply
    • Avril

      Cristi I am so saddened that your son died, and in awe that you will share this and help others. I hope you will keep posting as you progress.

      Reply
      • Cristi

        Thanks Avril. I posted some of it the other day on You must remember every scar. I was late posting it. Check it out if you would like.

        Reply
        • Avril

          Cristi I just checked it out. Good writing. It has that immediacy like the reader is right there. You’re describing something poignant and painful, and still, the way you tell it, it is a beautiful scar.

          Reply
    • Joy

      What a worthy cause, Cristi. Thanks for sharing.

      Reply
      • Cristi

        Thank you Joy.

        Reply
    • Lisette Murphy

      That’s fantastic, really. I personally have lost a sister several months ago and it is such a comfort to know there are others in the world who can relate! I know it’s not the same as being the mother, but my mom still has a hard time.

      Reply
      • Cristi

        So sorry for your Lisette. A support group of grieving moms will help your mother a lot. I needed 24 hour support in the beginning and the distance of the internet in order to participate in a support group. . There are several on Facebook I like. Grief recovery-my child has wings and Grief the Unspoken. Grief the Unspoken has support groups for siblings. Both are closed groups. No one is allowed except people who have experienced the loss. Just an FYI the general consensus among grieving mothers is it never goes away. You learn to cope with it. Around the three year mark is when I had learned to cope enough to join society. Be patient with her.

        Reply
        • Lisette Murphy

          Thanks. I will keep that in mind!

          Reply
    • Cara Enete

      I’m so sorry for your loss. Writing this book sounds like it will be good for you, personally, and amazing for the public at large. So many people experience excruciating pain and become alienated from the very people they need to lean on for support. I think this book will benefit not only those who have experienced loss directly, but also those around them who have no idea how to respond.

      Reply
    • Justine Manzano

      I’m so sorry for your loss. What an amazing tribute to your son.

      Reply
    • Denise Golinowski

      I am so very sorry for your loss. This is an endeavor of love and I am certain it will be received as such. I think your second sentence is your one-sentence premise. Just needs a little re-working to tighten it up and perhaps turn it around to focus on your reader – maybe something like: When my son died, I realized that as a grief therapist, everything I’d learned was wrong and this book is my way of helping others realize that they are not alone. Just a suggestion. Good luck!

      Reply
      • Cristi

        I like that Denise. I will rework it.

        Reply
    • Joe Bunting

      I’m so sorry, Cristi, and thank you for sharing with this community. I hope we can help, in a small way, as you tell your story.

      Reply
  4. Avril

    Ok this will have to do for now: (working title REGRET) In 2038 a scientist in hiding publishes a blog in which she alternately exonerates and implicates herself in events that caused a role and status reversal between humans and machines.

    Reply
    • KaChuPi

      :O please get this book published !

      Reply
      • Avril

        Thanks KaChuPi. I am giving it a huge effort!

        Reply
    • Justine Manzano

      Very interesting. The main character sounds complex!

      Reply
      • Avril

        Thank you for reading it Justine. Well I think my main character is not too complex. Brilliant and well intentioned, caught in a complex web. She does have character issues though, and this muddies the waters. I would like to write this so as to leave her culpability open to each readers’ opinion.

        Reply
    • Denise Golinowski

      Man, that’s quite a tangled web she’s weaving for herself. Best of luck!

      Reply
      • Avril

        Exactly! Thanks for the encouragement, I need it =)

        Reply
    • Joe Bunting

      Mmm, good stuff, Avril! I don’t like the phrase “role and status reversal” though. It seems like an over-complicated way to say machines taking control of the world. Also, if she just publishes a blog, that’s not much of a story. Maybe it could be reframed to something more like this:

      A genius scientist unintentionally enable machines to take control of the world.

      Or even:

      In 2038, a scientist-in-hiding reflects on her role in enabling machines to conquer the world.

      This story sounds so fascinating, Avril. Are you very far into it?

      Reply
      • Avril

        Joe thank you for the thoughtful and helpful remarks. I have outlined the whole story, and am fleshing it out and actually writing. Some clarifications: The machines do not conquer the world, it’s actually kind of given to them by some bad scientists the doctor took up with. They have a God complex. I came up with the idea of a blog as a way for Dr. Donnie to tell the story in the first person, and to give her the perspective of time. It takes her awhile to realize that, while she feels completely blame free, she belatedly realizes much of the world holds her culpable. She never intended for this to happen, it’s more a matter that she did nothing to stop it, and turned a blind eye. I’m just clarifying, not arguing. I am totally open to constructive criticism, am not diehard devoted to any single concept, such as the blog. Just trying to fine tune my protagonist’s perspective and let it flow. My major hurdle is I need to pare down. Too many characters, too many plot twists, too many dilemmas, etc. I’m trying to write the essential story, even leave too much out at first, to get this off the ground. Have plenty of fodder for filling in the blanks later. Thank you again for taking the time Joe, and you’ve given me some good ideas for simplifying. The first logline is actually very accurate, and I’ll keep it in my thoughts as I write.

        Reply
  5. DFWDFW

    Bonnie Ricci hesitates about whether or not to attend college. Eventually, the decision solidifies for her when she makes a tragic and enlightening discovery.

    Reply
    • Joy

      This is intriguing.

      Reply
    • Lisette Murphy

      Ooh ooh! I want to know what happens! That is an excellent premise!

      Reply
    • Adelaide Shaw

      I’d like to know what she discovered that was both tragic and enlightening.

      Reply
    • Denise Golinowski

      Though I failed to meet the one sentence challenge, I think you could easily make this into one sentence with something like: Bonnie Ricci’s decision to attend college is solidified when (spell out the discovery – her aunt’s will dictates she attends XYZ college – not a good example, but it’s all I had LOL)

      Reply
    • Joe Bunting

      Good start, DFWDFW. It doesn’t have enough detail for me to get engaged, though. What’s the discovery? Also, why would she decide not to attend college? College is a no-brainer for most people. Why is she debating? I suggest adding more detail. Thanks so much for sharing this!

      Reply
  6. Joy

    Great post, Joe. Thanks for this simple reminder.
    Right now I’ve named my novel “Remember the Sky.” I’d love some critique. 🙂

    While traveling in Israel, Grace Schmidt discovers for the first time the meaning of faith, suffering, and true love.

    Reply
    • DFWDFW

      I noticed we both used the words, “discovers” and “discovery”. I was trying to think of other words to express that kind of idea and vibe. Any ideas?

      Reply
      • Joy

        That’s funny that we both used a version of the word “discover.” A more forceful synonym could be “encounter” or perhaps in some cases “unearth”…As far as your sentence, maybe you could consider the word “realization.” I don’t know if that answers your question, but it’s an idea. 🙂

        Reply
    • Adelaide Shaw

      I think reading a book with Israel as the setting should be interesting. I’m always looking for books about places I’ve not visited. This could be interesting.

      Reply
      • Joy

        Thank you, Adelaide.

        Reply
    • Denise Golinowski

      Nicely done. What is that proverb about faith hope and charity? Perhaps you could reword to harken to the proverb and give a subliminal hook for your reader. Sounds intriguing. Good luck!

      Reply
      • Joy

        Thank you, Denise. I believe you’re mentioning 1 Corinthians 13:13… I love that chapter. I might include it in the story if it fits. 🙂

        Reply
    • 709writer

      Short and sweet. I like it! Your title is intriguing, too. For critique, maybe you could add the reason why she’s traveling in Israel. Great job. : )

      Reply
      • Joy

        Thanks for your thoughts. 🙂

        Reply
    • Joe Bunting

      Nice, Joy. I’m wondering if there’s enough meat here for a full book, though. Does she meet someone in particular who inspires these things? I agree with 709writer that it would be interesting to hear why she’s traveling there and for how long.

      Reply
      • Joy

        Thanks for the advice, Joe. It’s a two-week 2011 senior trip that turns into a life-changing journey. I didn’t get into the details in the small sentence, but the people she meets add a lot to the story. It has a long ways to go…But I’m learning a lot through the process, and the The Write Practice has been a great help. 🙂

        Reply
  7. Marilyn Ostermiller

    From my WIP, historical fiction for children eight to twelve.

    Twelve-year-old new girl in school, in rural Minnesota, in 1928, devises a plan to disarm the class bully, but can she succeed well enough that her poverty-stricken family regains their financial footing?

    Reply
    • Lisette Murphy

      Oh my! This sounds promising! I am quite interested!

      Reply
      • Marilyn Ostermiller

        Lisette, thanks for encouraging me.

        Reply
        • Lisette Murphy

          Anytime! =D

          Reply
    • Denise Golinowski

      I like it! You could shorten the initial string of parenthetical phrases by combining – in rural 1928 Minnesota. I like that she’s taking on a class bully – go, girl! However, I don’t get how a class bully influences her family’s financial footing. Wouldn’t take but a tick of wording, or might just be me. Best of luck!

      Reply
      • Marilyn Ostermiller

        Denise, You’re right! Thanks for the suggestions. I will incorporate them

        Reply
    • Joe Bunting

      Interesting Marilyn! How will disarming the class bully regain her family’s financial footing though? Also, and this may be beyond the scope but would it matter if they did with 1929 just around the horizon.

      Reply
      • Marilyn Ostermiller

        Joe, Thanks for the response.
        Does this work better? Or should I just delete the subplot of the needy family?

        On the brink of the Great Depression, a twelve-year-old girl, new to a rural Minnesota school, devises a plan that has the potential to thwart the class bully and also bring a financial bonanza to her poverty stricken family.

        Reply
        • Joe Bunting

          Interesting! No I like the subplot. Can you add just a touch more specificity to her ingenious plan?

          Reply
          • Marilyn Ostermiller

            I’ll give it a try

  8. Adelaide Shaw

    Currently I have a novel looking for a publisher. This is the premise or logline.

    Set against the background of the roaring twenties and the early years of the Depression RESPITE tells the story of the marital, financial, family and career troubles between a poor uneducated immigrant girl and an educated young man who is estranged from his wealthy and prominent New England family.

    Reply
    • Joy

      This sounds like an engaging story.

      Reply
    • Denise Golinowski

      I like the premise, though I’d personally like just a tick about the connection between the girl and the man. I’m thinking romance, but it could almost be adversarial. Might just be me. Good luck!

      Reply
      • Adelaide Shaw

        Hi Denise,
        The connection between the two is that they are married which I thought I made clear with “tells the story of the marital, financial etc….” Perhaps my premise is not clear enouth. I’ll have to think about it.

        Reply
        • Denise Golinowski

          Sorry, Adelaide. Probably my reading it too fast, but then again, you don’t want an editor/agent to make the same mistake. And they ARE speed-reading! Just re-read and tweak as YOU feel fit. Best of luck!

          Reply
    • Joe Bunting

      Oooh nice, Adelaide. Perfectly done.

      Reply
      • Adelaide Shaw

        Thanks Joe. It’s not easy to condense a 87,000 word novel into one sentence, even a long sentence, and have the sentence still be grammatically correct and logical.

        Reply
        • Joe Bunting

          Not easy, but you did it beautifully.

          Reply
  9. Lisette Murphy

    I have has this idea for awhile and it has grown on me so much I want to get it out! I have tried for two days and not written a word except the title! I have a notebook for my book ideas, because I have so many, so I have my characters figured out and the plot, but a premise has really helped! I plan to start actually writing tonight! This is titled Mission Call
    Seventeen year old Marline Miller, a cancer survivor, fought cancer for twelve years and is now facing her one and only year of high school as a senior, making friends and converting a guy who has a step brother in a wheelchair who has given up hope of ever walking again and-like his step brother-has an interest in her.

    Reply
    • Katherine Nederlof

      This sounds interesting so far, although the last bit of it is a little confusing. Good luck with the writing!

      Reply
      • Lisette Murphy

        Thanks! I wasn’t quite sure how to describe it. But I’m glad you liked it!

        Reply
    • Joy

      This sounds like a great premise. I did find the long sentence hard to follow though. It might be clearer if turned into a short summarizing paragraph:

      Maybe start like this: Seventeen year old Marline Miller, a cancer survivor, fought cancer for twelve years. Now she faces her one and only year of high school as a senior…

      Just a thought. Best wishes on the book! 🙂

      Reply
      • Lisette Murphy

        Thanks for the advice and support!

        Reply
        • Joy

          No problem. It’s great that you are so excited about the book and have so many ideas for it. I can relate to that feeling. 🙂

          Reply
          • Lisette Murphy

            It’s become my favorite idea actually because I relate to it so much!

    • Denise Golinowski

      I agree the first sentence is a little twisty. Maybe another option: Seventeen year old Marline Miller, having spent most of her life beating cancer to a standstill, now faces another fight–high school, senior year. Something like that perhaps? Anyway, I wish you the very best of luck.

      Reply
      • Lisette Murphy

        Thanks for your input!

        Reply
    • 709writer

      I have a notebook where I write my ideas, too! Your premise sounds really interesting. What might make it even better is to separate your one sentence into two or three sentences, to add tension. Maybe something like: “Seventeen year old Marline Miller, a cancer survivor, fought cancer for twelve years. Now she is facing her one and only year of high school, as a senior….” Something like that, maybe?

      Good luck on starting your new story!

      Reply
      • Lisette Murphy

        Oh my goodness! Seriously? That is so cool! The notebook for ideas is what saves me from going insane! There is no way I can remember all of the ideas I come up with! Thanks for your input!

        Reply
    • Lisette Murphy

      Thanks to all of my support and suggestions I have revised my premise!
      Premises

      •Mission Call
      Marli, a cancer survivor fought cancer for twelve years. Now she faces her one and only year of high school as a senior. And knowing no one she finds a nice guy to show her around and through a school project spends some time with him and eventually converts him to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Not long after becoming friends Marli meets Sam’s step brother, Will, who is in a wheelchair and has given up hope of waking.
      What do you all think?

      Reply
  10. ellenmulholland

    Would love feedback on my new YA’s premise:

    What if you could change a moment in your past before the future catches up with it? Kathryn Clark believes anything is possible, and she’s serious about finding her birth
    father. For a girl who desires to be anywhere but the present, it’s no wonder
    she’s obsessed with the movie “Back to the Future”. She skateboards around
    her small island town intent on meeting its star – if only in her dreams.

    Reply
    • Joy

      I love the first sentence. It drew me in. Kathryn sounds like a dreamy yet determined character. That’s a promising combination. 🙂

      Reply
      • ellenmulholland

        Thanks for that insight!

        Reply
    • Cara Enete

      I agree with the first sentence: it sucked me right in!

      Reply
      • ellenmulholland

        Thanks, Cara!

        Reply
    • Denise Golinowski

      I agree with everyone, the first line is excellent. After that, it feels a little rambling. And I have to wonder what make her think she’ll encounter Michael J. Fox and that he’ll have a time-travelling Delorean with him? I’d suggest focusing down on the twist in your story. Just MHO

      Reply
      • ellenmulholland

        Good point. How’s this?

        What if you could change a moment in your past before the future catches up with it? Kathryn Clark believes anything is possible, and she’s serious about finding her birth father. After discovering a mysterious letter inside an old “Back to the Future” lunchbox, she begins skateboarding around her small island town in search of Marty McFly. When the real actor passes through town, will Kathryn be present enough to see him?

        Reply
        • Denise Golinowski

          Hey there! I feel this is getting closer, though I think that making the connection between a real person (Kathryn) and a fictional character (Marty) needs a bit more explanation/clarification. Maybe something like: When a mysterious letter inside an old “Back to the Future” lunchbox links Kathryn’s father to Marty McFly, Kathryn pins her hopes on meeting the real actor at a scheduled book signing/show/interview. I’m probably way off base on your story, but perhaps that’ll help? There has to be a causality connection (is that the right phrase?) between the movie/fictional character and her life/father.

          Reply
          • ellenmulholland

            Denise, these are wonderful ideas! You are now my own personal Premise Writer. *sword dubbing ceremony*

            BTW: the BTTF tagline is: When you put your mind to it, anything is possible.

            I want that in my premise. It’s a theme throughout the book.

            I forgot to mention that she hears voices. I edited it out. How’s this:

            What if you could change a moment in your past before the future catches up with it? Kathryn Clark believes anything is possible. The voices in her head tell her so. After a mysterious letter inside an old “Back to the Future” lunchbox links Michael
            J. Fox to her birth father, she begins a dangerous hunt for the actor and a time-traveling car. But when the actor comes to town for a fundraiser, will Kathryn be too focused on the past to see him?

            Thoughts?

          • Denise Golinowski

            *blush* You’re too kind! And for your premise, I’m liking it more and more. My final caveat would be mentioning the voices in her head. Are you giving too much away? Are you revealing something that might actually cost you readers instead of gaining them? That’s your call, just my suggestion. Best of luck!

          • ellenmulholland

            Haha. That’s good. Actually, the voices are key to the character. We learn about them immediately. The real question becomes – are they the voices we all hear (conscience), or is she mentally ill? That’s a subplot. Glad we’ve connected, Denise. Have a great day!

    • Joe Bunting

      Interesting premise! What do you mean the island’s star, though? I’m a little unclear on that. This is really good!

      Reply
      • ellenmulholland

        Thanks, Joe. Actually, Denise (below) has been helping me massage this out. Here’s a revision:

        What if you could change a moment in your past before the future catches up with it? Kathryn Clark believes anything is possible. The voices in her head tell her so. After a mysterious letter inside an old “Back to the Future” lunchbox links Michael J. Fox to her birth father, she begins a dangerous hunt for the actor and a time-traveling car. But when the actor comes to town for a fundraiser, will Kathryn be too focused on the past to see him?

        Clearer? What do you think? I loved this article. Good stuff!!

        Reply
  11. Katherine Nederlof

    I’ve done this a couple times for the novel I’m writing but you had some great tips and I decided to give it another go.

    Ella only wants to rescue her best friend and bring him home safely, but when her mission takes her to a fantastic world of magic and war her best friend’s secrets, and her own character, will be revealed.

    Reply
    • Lisette Murphy

      That is a fabulous premise!

      Reply
      • Katherine Nederlof

        Thanks!

        Reply
        • Lisette Murphy

          Anytime!

          Reply
    • Cara Enete

      I want to know all the secrets! I would read this book 🙂

      Reply
      • Katherine Nederlof

        Thank-you!

        Reply
    • Denise Golinowski

      Intriguing premise for a YA novel(?). I love discovery stories. No good deed goes unpunished LOL

      Reply
      • Katherine Nederlof

        Yes it is YA, and thanks for reading!

        Reply
    • Joe Bunting

      Interesting, Katherine! I love stories about parallel universes full of magic (or am I reading this right?). I think you could be a bit more specific, even with your limited space, though. Rescue her best friend from what? Safely back home to where? How does she get to the fantastic world? Also, what’s a one word adjective that could describe Ella?

      Reply
  12. Cara Enete

    This is such a brilliant idea; it reminds me of the thesis statement for my history papers in college, but more fun!

    A cursed prince destroys the kingdom he once loved, with no way to save stop it or save himself. Centuries later he is the kingdom’s Dark Price, with no memory of anything before the curse, and not even his emotions remain; hope comes in the form of a unique woman whose goodness sparks the beginnings of a memory…

    Reply
    • Denise Golinowski

      Ah, redemption in the form of a good woman. I love those. Is this paranormal or fantasy? And a curse that removes memory and all emotions? Very nice.

      Reply
      • Cara Enete

        It’s fantasy. Thanks!

        Reply
    • Katherine Nederlof

      I love memory loss stories! Sounds good so far!

      Reply
      • Cara Enete

        Thanks!

        Reply
    • 709writer

      Wow, that sounds interesting. I really like that the woman’s goodness is what triggers his memory. Would love to hear more!

      Reply
      • Cara Enete

        Thank you! I’m having so much fun with it.

        Reply
    • Joe Bunting

      Interesting! How did he destroy the kingdom? Sounds sort of Beauty and the Beast-esque.

      Reply
      • Cara Enete

        Well now, as for that, you’ll just have to read my book! 😛 Seriously though, if you want, I’ll give you the skinny. Beauty and the Beast-esque is exactly what I was going for! That is my favorite fairy tale and I can’t get enough of reading variations on it. Of course, there will be differences, so it’s more like a story inspired by Beauty and the Beast. At least, that’s what I hope for.

        Reply
        • Joe Bunting

          Gotcha. The reason I ask is that it’s a little vague. I think you should focus on his transformation into dark prince rather than the destruction of the kingdom, which opens the door to too many questions. Does that make sense?

          Fun idea!

          Reply
          • Cara Enete

            Absolutely! In fact, I added the destruction of the kingdom as an indicator of the intensity of the curse placed on the prince. In my story, it’s all about him 🙂 I think I need to practice being concise and more accurate, though. Thank you so much for your feedback!

    • Lisette Murphy

      That is absolutely intriguing! I do agree with Joe on this one, it does sound a bit like Beauty and the Beast. I still like the idea!

      Reply
      • Cara Enete

        It is a sort of retelling of Beauty and the Beast, and my hope is that the end result will be more inspired by it, rather than a retelling. Thanks for the comment!

        Reply
    • AnKat D. Lopez

      Sort of like “Belle” and “Rumplestilskin/Rumple/The Dark One” from Once Upon a Time’s version 🙂

      Reply
  13. Chloee

    Paige’s a girl with not many thoughts and ideas about life. Being betrayed by so many she’s learned to trust no one so when she gets trapped in unknown territory the only way out is for her to trust the one person who crushed her loyalty.

    Reply
    • 709writer

      Sounds like a great idea for a story there! One thing that might make it even better is if you shared a little more detail about the premise, like maybe the setting, her family, and more about the betrayals she’s had to go through.

      Good luck and happy writing!

      Reply
    • Joe Bunting

      Good start Chloee! I agree with 709writer though. What’s the setting? Who is the antagonist that’s trapping her? Also, you tell us that she doesn’t have many thoughts, but that’s pretty vague. It almost sounds like she’s an airhead. Don’t tell us what’s she’s not. Tell us who she IS. In all of these areas, be more specific. If you can do that you’ll take a good premise and make it great!

      Good luck!

      Reply
    • Lisette Murphy

      I like that idea! Wonderful premise!

      Reply
    • Starlight11

      I already like Paige. She seems relatable and I like the contrast to her now natural tendencies that the story should provide.

      Reply
    • Lisa R. Davis-Wall

      This blurb makes me want to know more about Paige. I am intrigued by the concept that she has to go back to an enemy in order to move forward with her life. This makes me want to say “tell me more!”

      Reply
    • faCaldara1 .

      I agree with Lisa R. going to someone that Paige does not really trust for help has huge possibilities.

      Reply
  14. 709writer

    This is kind of like a logline, but better because I’m not limited to one sentence!

    Julia Knight, a thirteen-year-old girl, grew up in foster care and longs for a family of her own. But her plans to become the newest member of her foster parents’ family is cut short when a power-hungry man discovers her unique power and attempts to kidnap her, claiming he will do everything in his power to unlock the secret to her power. Desperate to stay out of his grasp, Julia enlists the help of Shadow, a serious, no-nonsense military agent. He agrees to help her stay out of her enemy’s hands. But his coldness and unfriendly demeanor make her wonder if she can really trust him. When her enemy sends soldiers to bring her to him, will she and Shadow work together to stop them? Or will their differences spell their end?

    I know it’s long, but I’d love some critique on how to make it more condensed. Any thoughts?

    Reply
    • Joe Bunting

      Interesting premise! It would be good to know what her power is, but how about this:

      Julie Knight, a young foster kid with a mysterious power, enlists the help of a no-nonsense spy to defeat a power-hungry enemy trying to rob her of her power so that she can finally join the family she’s always wanted.

      Reply
      • 709writer

        Hey, that’s great. I love to ramble on and on, so I like your condensed idea. Thank you!

        Reply
      • Beth Schmelzer

        I was going to try to rewrite this one for a practice premise exercise, but you expertly beat me to it, Joe.

        Reply
    • Lisette Murphy

      I like the idea. I personally did not do to well with one sentence.

      Reply
      • 709writer

        Thank you!

        Reply
        • Lisette Murphy

          Anytime! My pleasure! =D

          Reply
  15. Gordon

    Hi there, I’ve always thought about writing fiction but never seem to have the time. Well, I’m gonna be trying to squeeze it into my daily routine from now on, and what better way to start than having a go at these great exercises?! Here’s my first attempt at a premise for a story that’s been knocking around my head for a while:

    John is a man that’s lost everything. Doctors and psychologists can’t explain why he believes he can see people, and indeed monsters, who aren’t there.
    Following a strange encounter with a mysterious man he’s about to be thrown head first into a reality of multiple worlds; with landscapes and creatures that are more spectacular, and terrifying, than anyone could possibly dream of.

    Reply
    • Adelaide Shaw

      Hi Gordon,

      I think this could be shortened to one sentence instead of three.

      John, a man who has lost everything and who sees people and monsters who aren’t there, meets a mysterious man who thrusts him into a reality of multiple worlds which are more terrify than anyone could possibly imagine.

      Reply
      • Gordon

        That’s definitely more succinct. I found it hard to compress the idea down, but that’s probably because I’m trying to squeeze too much into one story. Thanks

        Reply
    • Isabelle Crusoe

      I like this, it sends a twang of curiosity through me. Is this book a w.i.p, or can I get it somewhere?

      Reply
  16. Sandra D

    A man with depression and numbness comes to a woman for help and falls in love along the way, but when he loses her it feels like all the progress he had made was lost as he cycles out of control. However a psychologist comes along offering a miracle cure with some serious consequences as well.

    Reply
    • Sabrina Jade Howard

      Hi! This looks interesting, but I have an idea of how to make it better 🙂

      First: Consider using the words “numbness” and “depression” as adjectives. It will shorten the premise, and make it less of a mouthful.

      Second: The initial conflict seems to be that he had a “problem” to begin with, and that’s why he asked the woman for help. There seem to be many conflicts. Maybe you could cut some of them down? or put them closer together in list?

      Third: I think it would be beneficial to rearrange the wording for this, so that it’s smoother. therwise, I think you have a great premise there XD

      -Sabrina

      Reply
      • Sandra D

        Thanks, that sounds like some good ideas. I will try and do these. Thank you for taking the time and looking at it.

        Reply
      • Sandra D

        Okay here’s my rewrite:

        A man carrying too much pain finds hope in a woman who offers him her love, but when he loves her in return he is not sure if he could handle losing her, and the temptations of a strange psychologist with all the answers offers maybe more then he can handle.

        Reply
        • Beth Schmelzer

          Your rewrite is concise and provides a great premise. The conflicts are unique and engaging to me, Sandra. Check out “A Man Called Ove” by Fredrick Backman for a great love story. (Beth, who cannot go a day without suggesting a book title to another reader…)

          Reply
          • Sandra D

            That sounds like a cute book. I will look out for it.

  17. Sabrina Jade Howard

    Dance of Shame

    Being born without a surname is all it takes to push Eli into a life of ridicule and scorn. To avoid his shameful beginnings, he decides he must join the King’s army and make a name for himself, but when Eli meets a nobleman at the military camp who also appears set on hiding his identity, he realizes that there are bigger things at stake than simply his own honor—things of bloodlines. . . . and war.

    Reply
    • Michael Follen

      Here is my input:

      I think it’s hard to dramatize something as general as bloodlines and war. I would maybe be a little more specific or ad some details. I had some extra time and re wrote it (I also like to practice editing) :

      Being born without a surname, orphan Eli was pushed into a life of ridicule and scorn at a young age. At his earliest eligible age he joins the King’s army to make a name for himself, build his strength and find out who he really is. Only when he joins the military camp, he meets a suspicious nobleman who seems to be hiding something. Guilty by withholding suspicion Eli falls into a rabbit hole of secretive royal bloodlines, hidden wars and deceit.

      I am no pro But, I hope this helps. If anything maybe a few words i used could be incorporated in the original.

      Reply
  18. Alex Young

    I’m out of practice, but have been trying to get back to it! Tips and comments very welcome 🙂

    Illu,
    a once thriving industrial city, has fallen on hard times. With the
    factories closing, the population has been steadily decreasing, taking
    the economy with it. Aiden, a factory worker who had only just started
    his career, found himself among those leaving the empty town. When he
    bumps into his old manager on a train to Kelso, he finds himself
    becoming entangled in the affairs of an ambitious, but fading, empire.

    Reply
    • Michael Follen

      I think this is pretty good. That last part seems a little odd though, maybe its just me. I think it could be rearranged. I feel like Aiden has lost hope when he went to leave the city but his conscience ends up keeping him in the city to help Kelso. You should ad that if I am correct. Maybe something like this: “when he bumps into his old ambitious manger Kelso who recruits Aiden who had lost hope conscience inadvertently commits to revive the dying empire”

      I hope that makes sense and helps.

      Reply
      • Alex Young

        Thanks for the input! I was a bit worried I might’ve been too vague there. Actually Kelso is a place, and the manager is unnamed in the paragraph. I’ll try and get a rewrite to clarify! But I do like where you went with Aiden 🙂

        Reply
  19. Shannon

    Six people who are stuck in life, consumed by jealousy of what they don’t yet have, are drawn to live on a particular street in suburban Los Angeles. The manicured cul-de-sac that looks like every other is secretly guarded by a mysterious angel who must help each of them move on by the new year. This angel’s never had a problem moving people on to the next stage of their lives in time, but she’s never seen a group like this one. [TItle: What You Wish For]

    Reply
    • Michael Follen

      I am no Pro but he is my imput:

      I think “moving on” is a little unclear. Maybe you could say the angel grounds them or changes their out look? Maybe it could be an angel of contentment? I like the idea you have but i think it could be a little more concise. Good luck!

      Reply
      • Shannon Nale Guyton

        I just saw this comment and wanted to thank you for your feedback. You pointed out the exact thing I haven’t figured out yet – what exactly the angel is called or specifically does. I basically created the Angel so I could have an omniscient narrator who can have an opinion on what’s going on with everyone and a higher stake. Not sure yet what will happen to the people or angel though if he/she doesn’t succeed.

        Reply
        • Ken

          At the moment the premise makes it sound like the Angel is your protagonist. That the Angel learns something as a result of the actions of the Six.

          Reply
          • Shannon Nale Guyton

            Very true. Before I came up with the Angel I was focusing on the 6 plot lines and how they will intersect. Time to flesh out what this angels journey is.

    • Isabelle Crusoe

      I would read this, cover to cover. It grabbed me right away.

      Reply
      • Shannon Nale Guyton

        Thanks very much! I had put this project to the side and your comment makes me want to pick it back up. 🙂

        Reply
        • Isabelle Crusoe

          Please do. =) And put me up for one as soon as it’s done.

          Reply
    • Ken

      Sounds delightful. Would make a charming film.

      Reply
      • Shannon Nale Guyton

        Thank you! It’s funny, i know nothing about writing screenplays but have had multiple people read the first chapter and mention the same thing.

        Reply
    • bernadette

      Sounds Fun!! good Luck!

      Reply
  20. Kim Robinson

    I’ve been working on this project for awhile now and I’ve found my mind a little scattered from working on concepts. Writing a premise helped me refocus a bit more on what I want from the plot and the story. Hopefully, it isn’t too bad but I’m open for critiques.

    Connor, age sixteen, has found his friendless life to be a complete waste, despite his upbeat attitude for adventure, until he is recruited as an agent by a secret, American organization that works towards keeping a global wide society of mythical beings from unintentionally sending the entire world into chaos with their desire to live alongside them.

    Reply
    • Miriam N

      Sounds like you’ve got a good start for a great novel. I do, however, have one question. When you say “with their desire to live alongside them” are you talking about the human’s desire to live beside the mythical beings or the mythical beings desire to live among the humans? Or is it a little of both?

      Other than that I think it is a great idea for a story.

      Reply
      • Kim Robinson

        Thanks. It’s the mythical being’s desire to live amongst them. I looked at that part for a bit before posting and thought I might get a question about that. I’ll have to tweak it a little.

        Thanks again!

        Reply
  21. Michael Follen

    Too short??

    Living in a suburb of NYC, Young star gazer Zach starts has an epiphany on how he sees the world and finds an endearing way to share with people his angle on life.

    Reply
    • Alex Young

      I like it~ It does read a little bit like a log line, but I’m curious to read more.

      Reply
  22. Miriam N

    Alright here’s my premise. Hope you like it and any suggestions would be helpful.

    Marie Nelson, a 15 year old orphan, suddenly finds herself thrown into the world of Valebat, where she discovers the family that she has always wanted to have, only to have it threatened by her power hungry uncle who seeks to take over Valebat..

    It’s a little rough but there it is.

    Reply
    • Alex Young

      I like the premise! I would try and change up the last section, only because Valebat is repeated within the same sentence. Maybe try a catchy (cliche’d?) line like “conquer the world”, “control the nation”, or “seeks world domination”. Probably not one of those specifically, but maybe take it in that direction?

      Reply
      • Miriam N

        thanks for you suggestion. It did sound kinda corny to me when I wrote it

        Reply
  23. Marta Traverso

    Jean-Claude hires the young Emma to help him clean out the Tuscan mansion where a famous, suicide victim female artists spent her last weeks: the only job rule is do not try to preserve anything, not event through photographies, and do not ask why.

    Reply
    • Kiki Stamatiou

      This is the start for a great story. I find it intriguing, prolific, and profound with a lovely sense of darkness to it.

      Reply
    • Jay Warner

      I like the mystery and intrigue impliled by your premise. What time frame is it set in?

      Reply
    • Jean M

      Ah but was it really suicide. Have we got a young PI in young Emma. Will she be in danger? I like it already.

      Reply
    • Lisa R. Davis-Wall

      Hmmm….. now I want to know why we can’t preserve anything!

      Reply
    • Virginia Dreaming

      That sounds like a great gothic story. Shades of Rebecca.

      Reply
    • BK-Vixen

      That sounds like a book I would like to read. I love mystery and especially when there are many delicious rules to be broken!

      Reply
  24. Guest

    “It’s a girl!”, they exclaimed
    after Donna gave birth to her first born child. Every day thereafter, life
    provided signs that humans are not always as defined by society’s standards. Continuously,
    she kept ignoring, controlling, and praying for these signs to disappear. Fruitlessly, 16 years later, her son said, “Please
    call me Luke and use male pronouns.”; she knew it was true, that he is
    transgender, and could no longer avoid facing her deepest fear and ignorance. Petrified, she
    began to peel away layers, for she consistently raised her
    children to live an authentic life, allowing Love to be their Guide. Doing
    anything less would have been hypocritical. Therefore, if her son was living
    this truth, she must as well.

    Reply
  25. dllovelife

    “It’s a girl!”, they exclaimed
    after Donna gave birth to her first born child. Every day thereafter, life
    provided signs that humans are not always as defined by society’s standards. Continuously,
    she kept ignoring, controlling, and praying for these signs to disappear. Fruitlessly, 16 years later, her son said, “Please
    call me Luke and use male pronouns.”; she knew it was true, that he is
    transgender, and could no longer avoid facing her deepest fear. Petrified, she
    began to peel away layers of ignorance, for she consistently raised her
    children to live an authentic life, allowing Love to be their Guide. Doing
    anything less would have been hypocritical. Therefore, if her son was living
    this truth, she must as well.

    Reply
  26. Kiki Stamatiou

    Alfredo Dante, a gentle high school boy by nature falls in with the wrong crowd while trying to deal with his painful past.

    Reply
  27. ebose

    My Premise,the story is about Mureen who is a 32 years old overweight housewife. She has been struggling to loose weight for most of her adult life, she’s tried joining weight loss clubs, calorie counting and even secretly taking diet pills without her husbands knowledge all to no avail. Suddenly she gets a brainwave and decides to invent her own weight loss plan and Creates a blog to share her weight loss journey with the world

    Reply
    • AnKat D. Lopez

      I like the idea about how Mureen suddenly gets a brainwave, a type of “super power” that can be used for good or evil. In her case, shares her own journey about weight loss.

      Reply
      • Okoh Eboseremen

        Thanks for replying,I really like the idea of a superhero with a special weight loss power, really cool.

        Reply
  28. Starlight11

    In a fantasy world where magical abilities are valued and those who have them are placed on a pedestal, a 16 year old girl by the name of Jaxania is born without magic into a family that has had it for decades, leading her to feel that she has no value. There are people who think that those with magical abilities should not get the special treatment and one of them takes it too far, starting a revolution. Jax must decide on which side she will stand.

    Reply
  29. Emily

    Jella, a superficial nineteen year old socialite gets stranded on an island where she struggles to survive on her own, when she finds herself in the company of a strangely alluring man named Bardo, who protects her from the race of deformed people who want to sacrifice her to gain beauty, and who ultimately teaches her what is truly important in life, and love.

    Reply
    • Beth

      I would definitely read this.

      Reply
    • AnKat D. Lopez

      I’m hooked on the plot.

      Reply
    • Jay Warner

      A very interesting and imaginative premise. Leaves me wanting to know more about Jella and Bardo and how they make it through this harrowing experience.

      Reply
    • Louise Rita

      I’d like to know what it is that makes Bardo alluring and what he’s doing on the island. Am also intrigued by the race of deformed people. Must be a pretty big island, too.

      Reply
  30. Beth

    Elizabeth Harper is what you may consider a wallflower. A beautiful wallfower.
    After losing her mother in a tragic accident, she and her father move to America in search of finding peace in their lives again. When Elizabeth starts college, her quest for so called ‘peace’ is short-lived. Before too long, she’s trapped in an abusive relationship with sweet-talking charmer Jared, who is hell bent on letting anyone else interfere with her life.

    …Just drafted that, literally took me about five minutes.
    *hides*

    Reply
    • Driva

      I really like this. I feel like you start to describe your protagonist, the setting, and the problem pretty clearly. I don’t have much experience writing or critiquing but maybe add a little more about Elizabeth, I believe she is more than a beautiful wallflower, I think that’s a good starting description but what else do you want people to know about who she is from the start. Great job!

      Reply
    • Isabelle Crusoe

      I would read this book. I like the dark notes, the chance for redemption and change.

      Reply
    • Jean M

      Lots of challenges here to simply survive. Elizabeth sounds like a sympathetic character that readers will be drawn to. Will she change, become strong enough to live her own life, her way? This should be an interesting book to write and to read. I hope it’s not in anyway autobiographical.

      Reply
      • Beth

        At the moment, I’m not even sure of that myself, I’m still getting to know Elizabeth, but yes, hopefully readers will be drawn to who she is as a person. She has good intentions.
        I’m drawing on my own experiences of mental health, but the events in the story are completely fictional, as are the characters.

        Reply
  31. Isabelle Crusoe

    Willing to risk everything. eighteen year old Mira fights her way through the nine stages of hell to free her father from eternal damnation. Joined by a group of unlikely friends she takes on demons, hell spawn, and gatekeepers. Thinking the Devil will be her greatest enemy, she underestimates the devil within and jeopardizes her entire mission.

    Reply
    • Ken

      So it is her own flaws that are her greatest obstacle.

      Reply
      • Isabelle Crusoe

        Yes. With every stage in hell she’s forced to battle with her own “Sins”. Something she doesn’t realize right away. The deeper she goes, the harder it becomes to battle her flaws.

        Reply
    • AnKat D. Lopez

      Mira is her own worst enemy.

      Reply
  32. Bettye

    Premise for my book

    In 2009 after a business failure, Beth, an American woman,
    goes to live in the West Bank of
    Palestine in a small house built by her late husband, a Palestinian. The first year is pleasant with neighbors and
    her husband’s family who welcome her and are very kind to her. Two years after
    her husband dies, her husband’s older brother is widowed. Her life takes a dreadful
    turn when Beth makes it known to him she
    has no interest in his proposal. Beth is
    then denied water. The former friendly neighbors turn on her and she is harassed for several years until she flees the country in 2014. During this five year period Beth learns much
    of the Palestinian culture, their strengths and their weaknesses that bear
    little resemblance to preconceived notions believed by the American people.

    Reply
    • Ken

      You have me intrigued. This is something that could be an entertaining learning experience. Can you get it down to a couple of sentences.

      Reply
      • Amazingrace

        This will be a very interesting book to read.

        Reply
    • Jay Warner

      How does Beth’s new knowledge transform her, or does it?

      Reply
    • Lisa R. Davis-Wall

      I believe this would be a very intriguing book. There are so many themes to pursue.

      Reply
  33. Ken

    The Blue Stocking Club tells the true story of four young women living in Brantford, Ont. Canada in the late 19th century. As teenagers they start a club for the advancement of women, literature and medicine. We follow them as they attract mentors and supporters until as adults they accomplish many advances in all three fields including one who becomes the first woman elected to political office in Canada and one who becomes a famous poet While other friends become Journalists, Novelists and Doctors.

    Reply
    • Jean M

      Sounds a bit like Suffragettes, a new film out in the UK. It could be a very good time to write such a book. Good luck with it.

      Reply
  34. AnKat D. Lopez

    “When you trust, you love. When you love, you celebrate.”

    Reply
  35. J Arias

    A twice orphaned girl suffering from amnesia must fight the demon sealed inside of her to stop the rising of a corrupt king, who will stop at nothing to kill her and release the monster inside.

    Reply
  36. Jay Warner

    Here is the premise for my book: “When Pearl took a job at the perfume company, little did she know she’d be embroiled in the biggest scandal of the 1920’s, uncovering a secret club and a stash of contraband that soon put her in danger for her life and challenged her own moral beliefs.”

    Reply
    • Beth Schmelzer

      Great premise for a novel I would like read. I feel engaged in Pearl’s dilemma already. Is it based on a historical event?

      Reply
      • Jay Warner

        Thanks Beth. I can’t wait to get started on November 1. It’s loosely based on real events that happened to a real woman, but the greatest majority of it is fiction.

        Reply
  37. Mantas Saldžius

    Emily calls himself a windchildren and thinks what he doesn’t belong to simple living in city. He dreams about going from his life and leaving everything behind. One day he meet a girl named Liepa and the girl want the same thing. Although, Emily dreamt about solitude, he convinces the girl to escape with him. Only suddenly, when the moment comes, Liepa changes her mind. Emily still could run alone but his wishes has been changed too.

    P.S. I am writing in my language so sorry for mistakes. And i know what where isn’t such word as windchildren in english, but in my language very is. And just saying children of the wind isn’t the same 🙂

    Reply
  38. CeCilia O'Keefe

    Practicing…
    1. Scarlett’s single minded focus for survival during the Civil War scars everyone who crosses her path. (Gone With the Wind)

    2. New voices from both the old and young battle for dominance each season. (The Voice)

    3. The planning was extensive and the execution flawless but the final outcome of what actually happened to the missing girl shocked everyone. (Gone Girl)

    4. Mrs. Lambert’s magical lessons help Stanley change the way he treats others. … But how long will her magic last? (My novel)

    Reply
    • bernadette

      hi, and where does your novel take place?

      Reply
  39. Sarah

    Anna Gardiner is used to the universe smiling upon her, and the plans going her way, but when a broken engagement turns the small town of Oak Hill sour against young entrepreneur, She has to fight years of tradition, old grudges and the town bureaucrats to survive, learning what it truly means to belong along the way.

    Reply
    • Beth Schmelzer

      If you were to submit this premise to an agent or a Beta reader, there may be questions about what type of entrepreneur Anna Gardiner was. I like this romantic novel already, but the premise needs revising for flow. Take out the comma after entrepreneur and follow it with a lower case “she” to see how it reads for you. Just suggestions as I try to formulate my own premise.

      Reply
  40. Jean M

    Imagine being a newly promoted detective inspector, in a small town in Scotland, with a drug addict sister. Then imagine a reformed criminal who had a finger in every sleazy pie is brutally murdered and it’s your job to find his killer. Imagine one of your colleagues is putting obstacles in your way. And imagine you’ve recently ended a relationship and a new love interest enters your life with his own agenda. That’s the situation DI Beth MacQueen is in.

    Reply
    • Grace

      And what does she do in her spare time? What spare time, indeed. This protagonist has so much on her plate. It’s going to be an entertaining read.

      Reply
  41. Warjna Waleska Kaztjmjr

    Okay, let’s try this. Here’s the logline:

    Ari Dillon, once the victim of a psychopath, is abducted to the world of Thanah, where she must fight and outwit another to protect a young girl and the future of her new home.

    It’s not easy doing the premise! It wants to become the back cover blurb… Here ’tis:

    Ari Dillon, at 17, was the victim of a psychopath. Ten years later, she has rebuilt her
    life. But then she’s kidnapped by aliens and taken to Thanah. Resigned to her
    new life, she settles in, only to be abducted yet again by mad Khamasur, deadly
    enemy of her new House. He has a proposal for her: she is to spy on the Master
    of her House, and bring back information about his plans. When she protests, he
    shows her the prize he will use as leverage—a young girl Ari befriended after
    the Earthers arrived on Thanah.
    He just made the biggest mistake of his life: he threatened a child.

    Reply
    • Amazingrace

      Oh, great! Must never threaten the life of a child. Write, write and still write. I want to read this book!

      Reply
      • Warjna Waleska Kaztjmjr

        First draft is almost done — at almost 200k words! Obviously, it wants editing and revising for length, if nothing else.
        One problem is that although I have given copies to over a dozen people, I have yet to hear a single word of comment. I know the story is good, but I don’t know if/where there are problems. No feedback = no clue!

        Reply
        • FereJohn

          You don’t say how long ago you gave people copies. If I were handed a 200K word manuscript, it would take me quite a while to read it and then to go back to comment constructively. Have you begun to edit it yet? If you have, telling the people with copies will let them know you recognize it needs editing and will give them permission to either begin to comment or ask to see your edited version. Just a thought.

          Reply
        • Beth Schmelzer

          Ask your BETA readers questions about your novel. Select only a few readers you trust. They do not know how to give feedback if you do not ask questions that you need answered. Sometimes you have to ask a second time and then give up on that reader if they are too busy. Keep writing and editing…

          Reply
  42. allyn211

    A short trip to the store turns tragic for two teenage track stars when a drunk driver hits their car, killing one and injuring the other. Afterwards, the survivor must learn to cope with his grief and guilt.

    Reply
    • Lisa R. Davis-Wall

      I’m already sad for the survivor. This would be an interesting book to read.

      Reply
    • Beth Schmelzer

      I think you have a great premise. In order to make only one sentence, try putting who after ” the other” (eliminating “Afterwards, the survivor”). Does my comment make sense to you? I would read your intriguing book.

      Reply
  43. Grace

    A young woman wants to be included in a power group as they
    travel inland Australia to a Quilt Exhibition. She is revolted by their attitude
    to their fellow travellers, then pays the price of allegiance when a croc
    feasts on her leg.

    Reply
  44. Lisa R. Davis-Wall

    Lisa is a 40 year old woman who married her high school sweetheart, but is now divorced. The couple had spent the past several years in a back and forth dance which Lisa thought would end up with a reconciliation. Lisa’s ex-husband announces that he is remarrying – she is shaken to the core.

    In an effort to find solace, Lisa teaches herself to knit, and makes her first sweater. Although she follows the pattern to the letter, the finished product, while technically made to pattern, is not flattering to her body type. She sets it aside, and begins a process of trying to figure out what to do with it. Finally she decides to unravel it, and make it over again into something new. Using the lessons learned from re-purposing the sweater, Lisa learns the value and the process of re-purposing a life.

    Reply
    • Virginia Dreaming

      Lisa, that sounds interesting. I think I would enjoy that story, especially if the repurposing becomes something that is not directly for the main character, but helps her to meet people who give her life purpose again.

      Reply
  45. Vence

    Simon Kruger’s Supernatural Assistance Agency decides to accept a bizarre
    job from a business-minded goddess but things have gone unexpectedly crazy
    along the way. Will they get the job well done?

    Reply
    • Steph Beth

      Intriguing! While this is not a genre I would typically read, you’ve made me curious.

      Reply
    • Kathryn Ash

      I’m so interested in reading this about this quirky super-world—even the gods need help from time to time!

      Reply
  46. Eileen

    As Canada falls under the control of a controversial anti-refugee organization offering a plan to eliminate world terrorism, a mother of two young children and wife of an activist
    imprisoned for fighting against the dictatorial takeover, flees her home for safety with a First Nation band living on the west coast of Vancouver Island. On the island, she must learn to survive the perils of recent natural disasters and avoid discovery by the Canadian military operating under Global Peace Keepers if she is to have any hope of seeing her husband again.

    Reply
  47. Virginia Dreaming

    A high school forensic science teacher, the school resource officer, and his students set out to solve a computer theft in their school and in the process have to solve the murder of a popular classmate that occurs because of their investigation.

    Reply
    • Beth Schmelzer

      Your premise is concise and well-written, Virginia. I would read this story and recommend it to YA’s. Is YA your audience with mystery as your genre? School resource officer is not a school title I know, so I hope you will explain his job in your first chapter.

      Reply
      • Virginia Dreaming

        Beth, thanks for the feedback. A school resource officer is a sheriff’s deputy with an office in the school. The bad ones are like the guy in
        South Carolina who hopefully will be removed from the school. The good ones are like the one I worked with who roamed the halls chatting with and listening to our students. He worked to keep them from being arrested rather than arresting them.
        My audience would be both YA and adults. The idea is to for the class to go through lessons that teach some basic principles of forensic science, then apply them to aspects of this crime as a class project. My working title is, “Who killed the Homecoming Queen?” and my hope is to actually teach a little of the basics of forensic science as the students figure out who committed the crimes.

        Reply
        • Beth Schmelzer

          I assume the protagonist is both a sheriff’s deputy and a school teacher with a background in forensic science. I love mysteries written for all ages. My books are mysteries for middle grade students. Reading this blog post has encouraged me to start over on one of two novels.

          So… you all have picked me up and given me the courage to write a premise for my novel. What do you think?

          PREMISE for “What’s Your Name?” A compulsive reader, Jeremy decides to discover the mysteries of her name and her mother’s disappearance the summer before she begins middle school in a suburb of St. Louis County.

          Reply
          • Virginia Dreaming

            Beth that sounds really interesting. I am so glad that we helped to motivate you on this story. I wonder if you can work in something with the old Johnny Cash song, “A Boy Named Sue” into the story as kind of stimulus or organizing idea.
            Are you a member of the Becoming Writer group. I wasn’t sure about joining, but if there are more nice people like you in the group I might give it a try. Besides, I want to hear more about how Jeremy traces her mother.
            BTW, my main protagonist is the teacher, who teaches chemistry, biology and forensic science. The deputy (who is loosely based on my friend Benny) helps with class demonstrations and lessons. The students, teacher, and deputy all find clues and the solution together. When I was teaching, my best classes happened in situations like this, when the students and I worked together to find the answers we needed. I am planning on using elements of my students to populate the class. The toughest thing is that I have had so many terrific people in my classroom over the years that it is hard to choose.

        • Beth Schmelzer

          Love the title: it grabs the reader, esp. YA students!

          Reply
  48. Tracy Kreiss

    A disadvantaged teen enters a secret program
    where he learns to transcend his psychological limitations and later the sparks
    a world-wide movement to evolve the human race.

    Reply
  49. Jean Maples

    My Premise:
    It’s a here and now story taking place in New England. The 82 year old woman, Aleisha, healthy, bright, separated from husband, Tom, who is now in Florida, and wants her back to look after him. He, seven years younger, has made a failure of his business efforts, though he worked hard, and there is no money for them except social security. She must decide what is in her best interest, not his, and how to manage. She reflects back in time viewing the affluent days, as well as the bad spells, before moving forward again to the present and her final decision.

    Reply
    • Louise Rita

      I’m already hooked! I’d like to be in on her reflections and her final decision. Keep on truckin’

      Reply
  50. nzinga

    Angelique always dreamed of a having a large family with a man who would share all the great moments and memories families make. Instead she got two sons and a father who left her to raise them aloone. After gaining her degree she moved to a new state to start over. Her life takes a sudden turn when she suddenly losses her new job and she and her sons are facing an eviction. With detemination Angelique shows her sons how to face lifes difficulties with hope, diginity and a sense of humor.

    Reply
  51. lilleyfern

    Do you need a premise when you are writing someone’s life story? My mom really wants her story written and she has asked me to do it. I know it would be fascinating for me if not for anyone else. There has been so much family politics, backstabbing, superstition, etc. that it is like a soap opera. Obviously, it would only be from her point of view and not objective.

    Reply
    • Louise Rita

      That seems like a very nice thing you’re planning on doing for your mother–a generous gift. I do think you need a premise, because you need a point of view from which you can write.

      Reply
  52. Louise Rita

    Premise to my non-fiction book:
    Traumatic events during my childhood and my reaction to
    these were instrumental in my developing a mental illness. At age 19, I experienced
    a major psychotic breakdown; it was then I came to believe that I had deliberately
    chosen evil and would burn in hell for all eternity. The horror of that ‘truth’
    which I kept hidden from absolutely everyone, and my stubborn refusal to switch
    sides, was to inhabit me for the next fifteen years.

    Reply
  53. Jess Lance

    So many great loglines here! I’ve done fairly well creating these in the past, but the stories were always more than nebulous stardust waiting to burst. So here it goes:

    Zachary is a psychologist with an unusual talent: fighting the demons residing in his patients’ minds. He is a prodigy with a one hundred percent recovery rate, and that is why Ezi seeks him out. When he fails again and again to stop the monsters in Ezi, he begins to suspect she must succumb to the thing they fear most in order to heal: insanity.

    One sentence was not cutting that one. Will ponder on that a bit.

    Reply
  54. L

    Ainsley A Ashton’s reputation as the most prolific heavy metal singer in his British band remained unchanged for the past 30 years by critics. But the recent murder of his manager and constant stage antics have him no longer comfortable in his own skin. The haunting from a Templar Knight, an unearthing of a Medieval bee bestiary, and deceit and corruption within the decadent industry have taken a toll on his faith. How does Ainsley redeem himself? How do the others overcome their personal demons? Do they even want to?

    Reply
  55. rosie

    Who is Elizabeth Anderson? That’s something only Elizabeth can answer, but first, she’s got to come to terms with what’s reality and what’s fantasy.

    Does anyone else feel as if everything they write belongs in the toilet?

    Reply
  56. Clyta Coder

    Premise for my memoir: My first goal is to share with my family and friends how the faith in God of my late husband, Frank Coder, and I grew through problems and joys experienced while we both served small churches in Alaska (1975-1982) and while he taught school. He was a minister of music and youth in Kenai and Fairbanks and a music teacher in Cordova and Glenallen. My secondary goals are to tell of the interesting people we met and to give insight into life in isolated towns in a harsh climate

    Reply
  57. Kairu

    Alex Bennet is a lonely, heartbroken teenager, still hung up on the girl who rejected him. But when he meets the alluring, nonchalant Jessica and a deep bond begins to form between the two, Alex discovers that love is not always so straightforward and that your first love does not need to be your only love…

    Reply
    • Steph Beth

      Although this is not a genre I would typically read, I would be interested to learn more.

      Reply
  58. Kyle

    James ‘Jojo’ Meyers, a hedonistic club owner and Armando Drogas, a lowlife drug dealer are rising stars in the criminal underworld. But when a series of brutal killings begin to escalate and their empire is brought to it’s knees, the two must face the underworld’s newest, but most feared and mysterious figure before society itself comes crashing down…

    Reply
    • Steph Beth

      You’ve piqued my curiosity, but this is not a genre I read. Those who do may very well be interested.

      Reply
      • Kairu

        Thanks very much 😀

        Reply
  59. Steph Beth

    Becca, a city-dwelling
    gallery owner, whose life is finally falling into place, must decide what to do
    when her estranged mother informs Becca her ex-husband is desperate to reconnect—back
    in the small town she left behind over a decade earlier.

    Reply
    • Steph Beth

      I have no idea why the formatting went wonky.

      Reply
  60. JD

    Specialist James Barton has a lot to learn in his new position on the Unity Council, but gradually discovers that the organization is built upon a secret agenda; if not stopped, the Council that is supposed to save society will actually bring about its downfall.

    Reply
  61. faCaldara1 .

    Small town pals, Sydney and Sally have known each other since grade school. But now, as young women there is a new guy in town that could spell trouble for the girls, or something else……..
    Had trouble getting that second line right. Or am I just over thinking it? thoughts?

    Reply
    • Skryb

      Would be awesome if he ended up connecting them both as a gay half brother to each; brings along a hidden murky past that tosses them into trouble with the law; and sends them on a treasure hunt for a hidden heirloom to clear their names of the wrongdoings he has bequeathed upon them…

      Reply
  62. Using_common_sense

    The author of this article doesn’t know what’s talking about, as evidenced by the fact that even after his post is complete he hasn’t even managed to get started. By providing a description and definition of a premise he shows awareness of the concept, but when it’s time to dive a little deeper all he can really say is that a premise is important (which, of course, offers no instructional value in advising readers how to construct an effective premise). So while posts like this may be useful to further the author’s SEO goals and generate clicks, he is ultimately doing little more than contributing to the ever degrading social phenomenon of internet baiting killing off and crowding out substance and intelligence in human societty.

    Reply
  63. LilianGardner

    Rosaline Murray gives way to her daughter’s request that she relate her life story to Mary Banford, an expert journalist, to turn it into a novel.
    Rose does not know where to start, so Mary says simply, ‘start at the begining, from as far back as you can remember.’
    Rosaline starts by relating the severe beatings she received from her step mother, and the cruelties she suffered at the hands of her husband. She breaks down, but Mary encourages her to continue,
    Rosaline’s tells of her heart’s desire to immigrate to a country where women are respected, and shows how, by her strong will, she accomplishes her dream.

    Maybe this is too long. I welcome feedback, no matter how severe.

    Reply
  64. Jason Bougger

    Great advice. A presenter at a recent conference I attended said that he writes his book blurb (or as you say a premise) before he starts the book and goes back to read it often, so that he says on track.

    Just great advice, especially right now when so many writers are preparing for NaNoWriMo next month.

    Reply
    • Joe Bunting

      Yeah! Are you participating this year, Jason?

      Reply
      • Jason Bougger

        I’ve done it a couple of times. This year I’m already in the middle of a WIP that needs to be around 75,000, so I’m probably going to just keep working on that. But if I do manage to log 50,000 on it, I guess I could call it an impromptu NaNoWriMo victory 🙂

        Reply
  65. Eddie Costello

    Matthew, a young man must try to handle his depression alone, as it causes him to see people who aren’t there, while dealing with his asexuality and family who are trying to arrange his marriage. Set in America in the 21st century; he must try to fight his emotional breakdown whIle “obeying” the rules of his secret community.

    Reply
    • Joe Bunting

      Good start. What does he want though? What’s his goal?

      Reply
      • Eddie Costello

        I really don’t know his goal. With what I have in mind there will be 4 “central” characters, I’m not even sure that he’s the main character. There will be his Aunt who is an older woman in her late 40s early 50s; she will be a money lender who is fighting her way to dominance in their community over men who believe a woman isn’t good enough. Another character is the girl whose family is arranging the marriage with Matthew’s family, she also doesn’t want to marry him and is wanting to go to college and leave but her parents is stopping her. The last character is his best friend whose dealing with a drug addiction which is “taboo” where they live.

        There’s more but I wouldn’t want to write a book as a comment because I know you are probably busy and have a lot of other things to do.

        Reply
  66. Erik Bressler

    Just a rough outline at this point but this is what I currently have down on paper for my premise.

    “When people around the world stop dying, a retired CIA agent makes it his mission to determine the source of the world’s immortality. However, after coming face to face with the leader of an ancient Satanic cult, the retired agent must team up with unlikely forces to save the world he no longer knows.”

    The issue I have been running into when developing a premise statement is figuring out how to narrow down all of my thoughts and ideas into a single statement.

    Reply
  67. nancy

    The lives of two Congressional analysts, Hamilton Lange and Karen Jones, intertwine when an illicit arms dealer and a dictator frame them for murder in the Congo.

    Reply
    • Brittney Leigh

      This sounds very interesting! I definitely find myself wanting to learn more about those to the analysts got into this predicament.

      Reply
  68. William E Daye

    William is a thirteen-year-old boy who is an eighth grade student at Aberdeen Middle School in Aberdeen, Arizona and plays multiple sports. He is dealing with the divorce of his parents, being in the shadow of his standout older brother, and adjusting to his first season as captain of his middle school’s sports team.

    Reply
  69. Ayodeji Awosika

    Many people want to build creative careers or businesses, but lack confidence and don’t know where to start.

    “The Confident Creative,” teaches you how to develop confidence first, then gives you a road map to grow your influence, find raving fans, and make an income with your creative talents.

    Reply
  70. Tina

    It’s about an unmarried, energetic middle-aged couple, Krisha G. and (Dr.) Gerrard M.; who banters; and they travel; and she’s a customer service manager (for a small enterprise) and stress is turning her into a caricature. I have to emphasize reacting to stress this way, while very real, can be super-compartmentalizing which is serving as a psychological defense, and the antagonist being this ubiquitous cloud I call “stress”, confounds Gerrard when he sees what it does to Krisha in their nascent relationship. Moreover, this guy—good old Ger, no prize except he’s got a way with private tutoring gifted kids and has a touch of business genius—so he’s approaching top-of-the-heap before the story starts; AND he goes his own way by nature … having left one marriage in his wake [by then he’d been age 40 and father of his and ex-wife’s son]…

    Unfortunately, it’s romantic comedy … slightly softened by definition, from the sharp edges that could easily exist (but-I-don’t-want-them-to) with a protagonist like the closet-geek Krisha … maybe I gotta go glissando on the geek part—really!—in order to do that …

    Reply
  71. William E Daye

    Recognized honor roll student William Baldelli wants nothing more than to lead his middle school’s sports teams to conference championships, so he can gain the acceptance of his famous father who’s been focused on turning his older son Matthew into a shell of his former self. But when his teammates are at odds after meeting the standout sixth grader who plans on making a name for himself, William must find a way to deal with his own injuries and insecurities in order to score the game-winning goal to secure the championship.

    Reply
  72. Andrea Mendez

    In a life where Lynn could not be remembered by anybody, he never had a real sense of permanence in the world. He was perfectly content with things as they were, claiming the world had become his own personal Neverland. Everything changed, though, when he met the one person who made him see that reality wasn’t all that bad.

    Reply
    • Tina

      Does this Lynn travel anywhere or do anything in any way along with his new friend that shakes his world to the very core? Is there a catalyst for growth over time?

      Because this sounds fascinating.

      Reply
  73. Andrea Mendez

    In a life where nobody could ever remember Lynn, he didn’t have a sense of permanence in the world. He was pretty content, even saying the world was his Neverland. That all changed though, when someone came along and showed him that reality wasn’t all that bad.

    Reply
  74. Brittney Leigh

    Between sudden bursts of brilliance and startling moments of self-destruction, a talented novelist struggles to complete his latest thriller in an effort to relocate his voice.

    Reply
    • nancy

      I’m picturing this already–the desperation to keep the tension bubbling, the schizophrenic life of the thriller writer.

      Reply
  75. Bruce Carroll

    Bruce is a struggling writer working on his first novel. When another writer challenges him to write a premise for his novel, he has trouble writing anything that gives enough information for his premise to be compelling.

    Reply
    • LilianGardner

      This is hard to believe.

      Reply
  76. Martha

    I have a premise, but it’s a little complex. Hope you don’t mind a long comment.
    Isabella is starting grade six. She’s pretty nervous about going to this school. She’s worried about what the other kids might think of her. Her family are ready to encourage her to do her best. Isabella is living in a way similar to most middle school girls. There’s something different about her though. She stopped aging over thirty years ago. She’s basically immortal. And this isn’t the first time she’s been in grade six.
    Isabella has done the three years of middle school over and over again. Changing her identity with each new school. Of course it’s hard to make friends when you’ll eventually have to disappear.
    This may sound familiar. Maybe cliche. What sets this story apart is that her family has continued taking care of her all this time. They’ve been aging but Isabella has stayed the same. So her sister is now pretending to be her mother, living with her in a new house. Their parents are retired but still giving them both emotional support.
    There has to be a problem for a protagonist to face. The problem Isabella faces: a boy in her class is obsessed with her. What if he finds out the truth? Should Isabella make friends with him, or tell him to stay away?
    One thing’s for sure. Life is going to change for both of them.

    Reply
    • LilianGardner

      Martha, your story is more than good… it’s interesting, and your imagination is amazing. An ageless girl? I gather that Isabella is about 13/14.
      I’d love to know more.

      Reply
      • Martha

        Thank you very much Lilian. To know that my story is interesting really means a lot. I can tell you a little more since you’re interested.
        Isabella stopped aging after a stay in the hospital in 1985. I’m planning to set this in 2018 so she’s been 12 for around 33 years. She’s learned enough to mature mentally, but physically she’s stuck in a child’s body. It can get pretty lonely sometimes.
        I’m hoping to make something that will touch people emotionally. I want to find my voice with something I really connect with.

        Reply
        • LilianGardner

          Martha, thanks for giving me more of your story.
          Now I really want to read it, so let me know when you publish, and where you publish your novel.
          I enjoy these mystery/supernatural stories.
          Wishing you the best of luck with your writing.

          Reply
  77. Luna

    At the age of twelve, everyone is given a kind of magic power. Luna was given the great power no one would ever want to be stuck with.

    Reply
  78. Kate Winters

    In the Ljan Mountains, far above the cutthroat Dharan Empire, a secret order of priestesses reside, with one mission: to protect. Talia Aonair, a nineteen year old priestess with the ability to read minds, has always believed in their order: observe, but do not interfere. But then she meets the enigmatic, optimistic Ava, the lost heir to a long-forgotten throne, and the world that always seemed so remote and terrible…may become the one place that she can call home.

    Reply
    • Peggy Kennedy

      Interesting, your premise has me wanting to read the story.

      Reply
  79. Robert Wray

    Pedophiles By Night
    Little Joe

    Based on a true Story

    Little Joe was unwanted from the very beginning of his life
    His mother was Incompetent his father was a Criminal, alcoholic and also Molested his Three Daughters who were Mentally Retarded .Little Joe was taken form his home at the age of nine months old.

    The Children’s Aid Society said it was the worst case in Canada’s Hystory.

    Reply
  80. Shreya Modi

    Summer knows that she has no say in her life as long as she is surrounded by her so called protectors. She runs away to rescue her brother who is forcefully taken by ancient creatures not even knowing whether he is alive. She is not aware of the raw magic coursing through her. she ends up in the middle of power hungry people ready to kill and manipulate to gain more power. Will she be able to find her brother?

    Reply
  81. Michael Pesant

    Enrolled against his wishes in a therapeutic wilderness program, reluctant outcast Moses Mendoza must face the harsh realities of both the forest and the family who sent him there.

    Reply
    • Peggy Kennedy

      Makes me want to read the story and it is concise.

      Reply
    • Lynn Bowie

      there are so many layers to this story. would be an interesting read. is it truth or fiction?

      Reply
  82. Joseph Asikpo

    The Nigerian music industry has been through a cylce of a high growth phase of the 70’s through the 80’s propelled by a booming oil economy to a state of general decline in the 90’s and the upswing from the early 2000’s to date.’Music in my Ears’ examines and chronicles the predominant Afro Rock sounds of the 70’s through the pop and reggae scenes of the 80’s to 90’s detailing the transition between each genre and factors that lead to the general decline witnessed in the 90’s in a bid to document and inform the new generation of artistes ,music managers and the Nigerian public.

    Reply
  83. Fiona

    April’s brother is murdered and her father puts the blame on her. She must leave home with the help of a close friend and a guard she must find the real murderer

    Reply
  84. Haley-chan the Kawaii

    Alex Rogers has been training to protect humanity since she was a little girl. She has been trained to survive and conquer practically any situation by her mentor, a creature they call the Sphinx. But when the world is turned upside down, how will she fulfill the prophecy that states she must defeat the Bringer of Smiles in a journey across Eurasia and find out what has happened to her fellow protectors, all while dragging her whiny American apprenctice behind her?

    Reply
  85. maistral

    Chronic pain is a global problem, affecting around 20 percent of people worldwide, with about 10 percent of the population being newly diagnosed .each year. Although it has many causes, it has become an illness in itself, often leading to inability to work, depression, and possibly suicide. Chronic pain is traditionally seen as arising from the problems in the body, so treatment is directed at fixing the physical ailment. The reason that this often does not work is because pain is actually created by the brain as a danger warning, and until the brain feels safe it will continue to sound the alarm. Changing the brain, not the body, is the key to healing chronic pain.

    Reply
  86. Morgan Amonett

    Diana’s life on a small farm in North Texas in the 1950s changes drastically when her hatred for her oppressive and manipulative brother leads to disaster. Her dreams and journeys to other mental dimensions save her from confronting the psychological trauma inflicted on her by her brother’s abuse and the catastrophe that ensued as a result. When she tries to accept her past and move on, she is forced to navigate the treacherous waters of her mind and learns to enjoy her reality as well as her reverie.

    Reply
  87. Peggy Kennedy

    My memoir about my struggles with schizzoaffective disorder. I have seen angels, hear God’s voice, have had visions and dreams How we are to use discernment when we see or hear anything. How the Bible is our standard and brings clarity, life, and healing when we apply it to our lives.

    Reply
    • Lynn Bowie

      Would love to read that! I work with patients who have the same Dx and find it amazing. Each person is unique when explaining how they feel.

      Reply
  88. Ernest

    Child abuse is very prevalent in our society today and it can be solved by creating awareness to the caregivers and stakeholders on the causes and risk factors, dangers of child abuse, prevention and management. Many caregivers need to understand what child abuse is and the initiatives they can take to address the problem.

    Reply
  89. Alyssa

    GAME (an acronym for a mysterious character) created the video game Mystical Warriors, which is causing the disappearances of thousands of people worldwide. Will GAME realize he ruined everyone’s lives and help them get back to the real world, or will all the players be trapped Inside forever?

    Reply
  90. Alyssa

    The mysterious and unknown GAME created Mystical Warriors, a popular video game that is kidnapping thousands of people into its world. Will GAME realize he ruined everyone’s lives and help
    them get back to the real world, or will all the players be trapped
    Inside forever?

    Reply
    • Jenny Arsenyuk

      I like it! Would definitely want to read this book. Have only positive things to say about the premise: it’s short, you have introduced both the protagonist and the antagonist, a little bit about the background (but not too revealing, which is good) and also the goal of it. Definitely like it!

      Reply
      • Alyssa

        Thanks! …now the hard part is putting the story together haha.

        Reply
    • Joyce Norton

      That sounds almost exactly like Sword Art Online, an anime/manga where you get trapped in a video game and the only way out is if someone beats the game, and let’s not forget that if you die in the game you die in real life.

      Reply
      • Alyssa

        That is actually one thing that makes writing this story challenging, avoiding as many similarities with Sword Art Online as possible. In my defense, the video game aspect of my premise existed in my mind long before I even knew about SAO or anime at all. Initially, it was a childhood larp game that I came up with to play with my cousins when I was like 7 or 8 years old.

        Reply
  91. Karen Lewy

    Hmmm. New to this group. I have made my living as a journalist and marketing writer for way many years. I am a story teller and have been lucky enough to surround myself with other creative types who have encouraged me to write from a more personal point of view. I find writing from personal experience really daunting. I have the skills, I have the stories. Just don’t want to hurt anybody in the process.

    Reply
  92. maulana hafidh R

    Maul is a boy from a village who have lost his memory. His brother, Grey want to help him find his memory by doing something he usually do with his brother in the past. But Maul have a severe illness with his brain. It makes him live not long enough.

    (Sorry about my English , its pretty bad)

    Reply
    • Jenny Arsenyuk

      Sounds like a really sad and tragic story. Hope it’s not autobiographical. It’s a good story, that would create empathy and compassion in the hearts of the readers. Will there be a protagonist character or is the story mainly about the internal conflict the boy is going through?

      Reply
  93. Elizabeth H. Cottrell

    Nonfiction book premise:
    Some say the handwritten note is a dying art, yet in both professional and personal life, it is one of the most powerful tools we have for connecting meaningfully with others in a way that speaks from your heart and can be read and treasured. Stop wondering how to do it and learn to write short, simple notes that comfort, encourage, and inspire.

    Reply
    • Jenny Arsenyuk

      that’s an interesting idea! I would never have thought of myself, but now when I see it being mentioned in that way, I would definitely look through the book for a good advice on that! Sounds interesting! I think that for me to buy such a book, I would probably want to have more, f ex, how to create selling short messages on the web site, how to capture someone’s attention with a short message or something like that…

      Reply
  94. Vrushali Pathak

    Nathan wakes up. He doesn’t where he is. Just that his world is now destroyed by zombies known as ‘zekes’. He meets Emma who seems to know something about everything that’s going around. But there are more secrets than anyone can guess. And how are people turning into zekes? Is there a cure?

    Reply
    • Jenny Arsenyuk

      Interesting plot. I would like to know more about the goal of the main character – does he want to save the world and how? Would Emma help him? Is she the protagonist of the story or is it Nathan?

      Reply
      • Vrushali Pathak

        Actually they both are. Along with Tina, Nathan’s younger sister. Actually I’m writing this book a little bit Dean Koontz’s style, paralleling between a few characters and I’m not exactly sure how to end it. You know, zombie stories are not easy to end. Though I thought about a few endings- an evil scientist was experimenting, a virus broke out…but none of them is unique.

        Reply
  95. Jenny Arsenyuk

    After losing her sister, Brooks finds her way back to normal life with the help of hypnosis and praxis of mastering her own mind. When Brooks then becomes a prominent student of quantum physics, Sienna, a strong and enigmatic woman in her 50-ies, with a shady past, gets interested in Brook’s story and her practical skills. After manipulating Brooks into using newly developed quantum physics theories and combining them with mental praxis of all controlling awareness, they attempt to find a technique that would help them change the life events of their past.

    Reply
  96. Andre Dumoulin

    The Sub- Galactic Council of our little corner of the universe is debating the fate of a planet, where the most powerful country has elected a dangerously ill and weak governor who may be controlled by dark forces that were supposed to be eradicated…

    Reply
  97. Alanis Ballans

    Thom is depressed, and having not talked to anyone for two years, struggles with language as he meets too many people he thinks he knows. All is unsettled in Glastonbury: Thom’s world is now constantly on the verge of dawn.

    Reply
  98. Jorge

    I don’t think I need a premise. This particular book is intended as an exploration of the notion of ‘the landscape experience’. The idea is to examine that notion from different angles or perspectives rather than proposing a theory of “what is it to have” a landscape experience.

    Reply
  99. Courtnie

    Liza is 35 year old house wife, who in one night life changed. She catches her husband of 12 years cheating on her with a much younger woman. Liza decided to exact revenge on her unsuspecting husband. How will it all end.

    Reply
  100. Jacqueline Alleyne

    Jennifer is a young black West Indian girl born in the UK. She is convinced her family is dysfunctional. There is a lack of attention, affirmation and appreciation from her parents. She plans to leave home at 16 without their consent as they unrelentlessly try to convince her that she is the instigator and source of the problems. Jennifer’s search to make sense of her world reveals some some startling revelations about her family origin.

    Reply
  101. Blackbird

    Some examples could have been included to make it more clear. Nevertheless good article.

    Reply
  102. Marg Sooley

    Charles grew up in a small coastal community in NL, Canada in the 1950’s. He was the middle child of eleven siblings, in a poor family. Life was hard trying to survive. He was bullied in school and because his family was large and poor, they were sunned in the community. Years later as he reflects back on that decade in his life, he realized that this need to survive, his sense of family and community is what makes him the person he i s today.

    Reply
  103. Nabiha Ariff Siddique

    As she lay so still, so quiet and numb, Laila wondered if there was a slight chance of survival. If she could reach out for the phone or the door knob, maybe help would come. Her blood-stained clothes and bruised fingers did not allow her to move too far. She tried but her body failed. It was just then that she heard muffled voices, footsteps and frantic whispers, they were still here!

    Reply
  104. Blake

    This is just a fist attempt but oh well.

    Holly is a girl that has never been well liked, or liked at all, for the way she looks. When her older sister killes their mother and takes over the throne Holly is banished never to return to Swanora. However, Winter had also murderd their father and Ash, the youngest sister, was forced to take the throne of Genem. A story of Yin and Yang with a twist.
    (Possibly will be named Life of Ice, Heart of Gold.)

    Reply
  105. Laytonagator

    Many of my stories are mostly aiming for action scifi-fantasy readers.
    Here’s the description for my story title called Parallel World.

    It is year 2042 of September. A planet with living things, quarter the size of the Moon, are called Parallel World by the National Defense of After-Japan. After the arrival of the Parallel World, creatures of unknown came down and attacked Earth. Not many survived and the Parallel World itself is damaged. Humans started living in secret bases on both Earth and the mysterious Parallel World to hide from the so-called creature, known as Rekaveth.

    A decade later, everyone began living in the underground world with still protected barrier from the surface. A young heroine, Fujima Luka lived within a hidden underground colony in hiding from the world above and the NDAJ who are in search of unlicensed people whom they called ‘Illegal citizens.’

    Reply
  106. Sabrina Rosioru

    That hole in my heart wasn’t meant for words. It was meant for fulfillment who would only come by destroying everything I ever worked for. But words are the only thing left. That’s what he last wrote to me.

    Reply
  107. Alicia

    This is the premise I’ve come up with for my book, Snapshots:
    Prodigal artist Aggie Reese finds herself struggling with her muse before her big career-defining showcase. Under stress, she escapes to her hometown Eavanport to gain peace but gains the answer to her lack of inspiration with the help of her old classmate and an eclectic cafe owner instead.

    Any advice on how I could possibly improve this?

    Reply
  108. Ce

    Lex is an argentinian young girl, who will have to choose between two of her passions: singing and skating. Her best friend, Dan, will always be by her side but will her presence be helpful of will it only make Lex more confused?

    Reply
  109. Frank Marabate

    When Jake is notified that his missing father has been found in the local hospital badly beaten and near death. An unforeseen journey is taken to a distant and impossible land. To save his father and the world as he knows it, he must believe the unbelievable, overcome his lack of confidence, and beat an evilness that has plagued the land for over a century.

    Reply
  110. Trudy Newell

    I do have a premise for my novel, but I am reworking it. It isn’t going to work the way it is. My biggest problem is making the crisis real.

    Reply
  111. Trudy Newell

    I reworked my premise, and still am not totally satisfied. So much happens on the trip from Iran to Jerusalem. There is mystery, intrigue – and not everyone in the caravan makes it. It’s somewhat of a takeoff on the ‘Drummer Boy’ song.

    Here’s the premise: After many miles on the Silk route, thirteen year old Pepi arrives at Bethlehem to worship the King of kings, and give HIM his very best. But what happens to Pepi then?

    Reply
  112. Kim Beutel

    When life deals you not one, but two heartwrenching blows at the same time and you have no idea how you can possibly overcome them. When there are no more tears left to cry and you feel exhausted and drained, questioning whats this life really all about? Then from out of nowhere soft words of wisdom and the most purest sense of love and peace engulf you, from the most unexpected source fathomable.

    Reply
  113. Kim Beutel

    When life deals you not one, but two heartwrenching blows at the same time and you have no idea how you can possibly overcome them. When there are no more tears left to cry and you feel exhausted and drained, questioning whats this life really all about? Then from out of nowhere soft words of wisdom and the most purest sense of love and peace engulf you, from the most unexpected source fathomable.

    Reply
  114. Julie

    Premise: Michael, a wealthy divorced Christian man, has custody of his and his ex’s children. His ex serves him with a petition to modify the current custody order where she gets custody of them. He falls in love with his attorney’s assistant while trying to keep custody of his children.

    Reply

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