Have you ever considered writing haiku? What can you gain from practicing this lovely craft?
Haiku or ‘exotic verse’, as some prefer to call it, dates back to 16th century Japan, though in the English-speaking world it has only been present for the last 130 years or so. It’s increasingly building up interest in the West, thus nowadays haiku is the most popular form of poetry on the web.
How to define it?
Photo by Pixel Fantasy
According to the Haiku Society of America, haiku is:
1) An unrhymed Japanese poem recording the essence of a moment keenly perceived, in which nature is linked to human nature. It usually consists of seventeen onji (syllables)
2) A foreign adaptation of 1), usually written in three lines totalling fewer than seventeen syllables.
Haiku Characteristics
Except for the straightforward characteristics of brevity and juxtaposition – which is considered to be a key technique of haiku – other attributes include: a seasonal nature reference, the immediacy of the ‘haiku moment’, a sense of ‘presence’, and the simplicity and honesty of ‘haiku spirit’.
A haiku moment may be described as a singular everyday occurrence that is experienced with increased awareness and understanding.
This sudden grasp of reality through transcendental perception would help to explain why haiku are considered by some to be of philosophical or religious inspiration, especially in a Zen Buddhist sense.
mind empty of thought –
all the lines in the room
fall into placeCaroline Gourlay
It is the poet’s reaction to what they have experienced through their senses that, when presented spontaneously, objectively and in an open-ended manner, allows the reader to experience and realize these moments for themselves.
These moments are not isolated from the continuum of reality; they are an integral part of life. Therefore, what is left unsaid is just as important as what is recorded. It is the space within and around the haiku that creates an effective poem.
Writing Haiku
Even though it looks simple, haiku is definitely an art. Its minimalism is what gives it the fundamental attractiveness. By practicing haiku, one learns to perceive everyday things in a different light, make observations, and meditate on what’s around them.
If the cat purred while the sun shone on its fur, you’ll be able to register it as a beautiful daily occurrence. After all, less is more and the greatest truths have always laid in the basics.
Although haiku are short, there are not just sound bites. They are condensed meaning. What’s more, they offer calm in the midst of today’s apparent chaos and hectic world. Some haiku poets have even labelled haiku ‘the islands of sanity’.
So, if you’re after a calming writing activity that you can enjoy, give haiku a try and you may get more satisfaction, peace and self-improvement than you can expect.
What's your opinion on haiku poetry?
PRACTICE
Write a haiku poem, inspired by your perception today. The topic is irrelevant and the simpler the language, the better. When you’re done post it in the comments.
As always, give useful feedback to others’ practices.
When darkness surrounds
and sorrow drowns, I must find a light
and go there
I like this James, powerful images with surround and drown – I might remove the word “must” as it gives it a stronger and calmer end.
Yes. You are right. But I would lose a syllable and be at 16 instead of 17.
When darkness surrounds me,
and sorrows drown, I find a light
and go there
I don’t think it has to be exactly 17 – the example she quoted is 15…I do like it better this way!
I agree. And it doesn’t need to be exactly 17 nowadays; the standards are changing.
I think the “must” expresses a longing, an unresolved desire to get away from the sorrow. I find that removing “must” turns the haiku in a flat statement, with no movement.
How about this:
When darkness surrounds
and sorrow drowns, I search for a light
and go there.
Now you have desire, movement, and 17 syllables. 🙂
I love creating haiku and is a usual accompaniment to pictures that I click
PhenoMenon
http://throodalookingglass.com
Very beautiful. I loved the light and dark one. For what is light without darkness?
Enjoyed this post! I’d like to add a thought I read once for those who attempt haiku: if you read a haiku and think, “So?” it isn’t a haiku, however the syllables add up. For example:
white paving tiles
gleaming in the sunshine
on this summer day
So what? This one is poor on several counts: it uses the syllable-wasting gerund verb form (-ing) plus unnecessary prepositions and articles – and it lacks depth. As you say, a good haiku has layers, a twist, or an implied metaphor.
What do you think of this second version?
white paving tiles
reflect cool evening sun
some hearts never warm
Here’s one I wrote last week, titled “Con Man.” Does it meet the criteria?
fast-talking vendor
sells me castles in the air
holes in my pockets
I can agree with that…
I tire of the
meaningless poems that only
pretend to express
meaningless poems
fail to inspire
leave much to desire
I understand the holes in the pocket, but it doesn’t transition naturally.
The vendor sells castles
made of air, I’m high as kite
’til my pockets are bare.
Title: Surf
Emerging from glass
Swelling to a hollow crest
Crashing on the beach
strong images with emerging, swelling and crashing – I might make one of them an active verb tho’- “crashes” on the beach says more to me…
I love your verbs and nouns. A truly beautiful combination, though I would do something more like this.
This is wonderful. Great choice in strong verbs help me visualize surfing. I can’t swim. 🙂
ghostly web ambush
in dark night
delights painted in morning dew
I love the idea of writing one about spiders weaving webs at night, ambushing us in the morning light. But I felt the last line veered off course.
And we find little delight, so we squish them for spite.
Thx, James – I have no idea what I’m doing, but it’s been fun…
ghostly webs ambush
silent at night
sparkle innocence come morn
words strung like pearls
betray secret heart murmurs
when the string breaks…
Writing is always the most fun when you have no idea what you are doing.
How about “gems sparkle” in morning dew. Maybe I’m not getting the sense of how this third line connects, but I can’t envision anything “painted” in morning dew.
thx for the comment, Christine – I tried ‘sparkle”…
Had written this sometime back on my blog:
Dewdrops on glass blades
Shiny little wonders, but
gone as the dawn breaks.
I just checked the syllable count. Not sure if it meets other criteria.
http://themuseumpiece.wordpress.com/
This is beautiful. It is elegant. I feel it needs an emotional element, but the scene is vividly painted. Thank you for sharing
Thanks for this feedback. 🙂
It’s well depicted. Great job.
Thank you 🙂
I enjoy doing a modern form of Haiga by illustrating the Haiku I write. I call it modern, because my illustrations range from photographs, small fabric pieces or mixed media art. Sometimes the verse inspires the art, sometimes it’s the other way around!
If you’d like to see the seven I have done to date they can be found here:
http://cathyoriginals.blogspot.com/p/illustrated-haiku.html
Also, if you have any suggestions for the two that are currently untitled, feel free to leave them in a comment on the blog 🙂
Great project. And don’t worry about titles – the tradition is not to put any titles on haikus anyway.
I thought Haiku was
Made up of five, seven, and
Five syl-la-ble lines.
You should all check out
Sylvia Jones Haiku at
The Haiku Corner.
http://thehaikucorner.com
A clever piece. It made me smile. I’ll be sure to check out the link.
I’m glad you liked it
I wrote a blog post also
From a Haiku class.
LOL I taught a class in a Homeschool co-op about Haiku.
You can read some Haiku my students wrote at
http://rocksolidfamily.com/what-is-haiku/.
It’s a lot of fun though I admit I don’t know everything about it. 🙂
I see some people
Have been chea-ting with the syll-
a-ble count! Agreed?
It does not seem fair
For those who count on fingers
To read those that don’t.
😉
🙂
The haiku is my favorite poetry form. It encourages me to be concise. I love it and I write several every day. Thanks for sharing this post. I truly enjoyed reading it.
Sunrise awakens
Fate owns our longevity
Celebrate each day
Pardon my critique, but “sunrise awakens” sounds like a repetition in meaning, like “more better”, sunrise being the awakening of a new day.
It seems like you have written three brief independent lines here. I think with haiku, two lines need to tie together.
This is sound advice. Thanks for the feedback!
I agree with Christine. The lines are disjunct.
The sun drops
and fate claims another day
Take not tomorrow for granted
this wind —
a butterfly gusts
into autumn
You never find,
peace of mind,
in your own kind
Can’t haiku this, but…
Sit by a friend,
warm talk, coffee in hand
peace of mind comes
when another understands
Sweet!
I have experienced this ‘sweet’ moment quite a lot, but what remains is that this peace of mind is as bitter as the coffee. Vanishing in a split second!
Put sweetener in the coffee, pick sweeter friends.
Have a few kids. You’ll never have peace of mind. Peace of mind is overrated and bad for a writer. It’s nice just to have a simple happiness.
I do like this ‘simple happiness’ concept and feeling. Thank you James.
This reads like a rhyming sentence. It may have depth of meaning, but needs an angle or twist somehow. (And thankfully it isn’t true — unless I miss the point.)
I didn’t feel it was true, either. a twist would help.
Thanks Christine (also to James). The point is that you can find genuine solace in anything but humans.
Notably, consider nature, in a world of man vs. nature.
Overcast sky
brings rain that quenches the grass
sadness invades my soul
Nice picture. Too bad we’re limited in syllables– “sadness trickles into my soul” would fit better. “Quenches” isn’t the verb you really want, I don’t think — unless the grass is on fire?
Thanks for your critique, Christine. This was my first stab at Haiku, and I totally agree with you that “sadness trickles into my soul” does sound so much better. Unfortunately, we are bound by a rather inflexible syllable count. With regard to the grass—i pictured it dry, hence my use of the word “quenches.” Thanks again for your input.
What do you think of this?
Bleak sky quenches
the thirst of the grass
but not the sadness in my soul
I love the spin you gave my haiku poem, James. It certainly conveys what I was experiencing in a much clearer manner. Thanks for your input!
I’m glad that you liked it. Writing is a combination of writing and critiquing, and I think sometimes people forget to refine their work. The write practice, in my opinion, should be used as much for critiquing as it is for unbridled creative writing.
But sometimes I wonder what others think of my critique. Whether they read it and silently respond, “What an A-hole!” But, then again, a writer with an attitude like that cannot truly grow.
I’m looking forward to more writing from you.
I totally agree with you in regard to writing and critiquing; they certainly go hand-in-hand. This is a great forum for practice writing, therefore, critiques are to be expected, and any aspiring writer should be able to accept them gracefully.
Of course, I also believe that critiquing should be constructive as opposed to destructive since there is a certain finesse in how to broach a subject. In any event, thanks for your input once again. I will certainly continue to post on future prompts.
I agree with all of your points. The critique finesse is hard to learn and is self-reflective. I critique myself hard, and others not quiet as hard. I always try to pick out the good with the bad.
It is not an easy thing to rate yourself at though, and feedback on a critique isn’t so common.
The web blocks my path
Enormous, bulbous spider
Sways gently atop
Yuck — to the spider! You could take out some adjectives and use the last line for a “twist” about not succeeding in your plan or path. Like:
Web blocks my path
Spider sways gently atop
—– (Oh, rats! Life is frustrating 🙂 )
Like the idea.
I love the words bulbous and gently atop. I am there with you.
I’m glad.
Are you going to eat that?
I really like this one, but I think you should make a poem out of it, not a haiku. The haiku is restraining your need to tell a story about this spider and where your path is going.
Thanks for the challenge.
Sounds good. I’d take out the ‘the’ article in the first line, and one of the adjectives in the second. Economical and concise. 🙂
Thanks.
Spider web in hair
She shrieks and flails frantically
Spider flees his lair.
Not sure I got the rhythm right, but yours was to good and too fun to resist.
I don’t think I’ve ever read a horror story haiku before. Very original!
Susan inspired me. The season is implied. I left a challenge for my writing group to write Halloween Haiku’s to trick or treat the residents of the Assisted Living facility where we meet. I think it will be fun.
Great idea. I’d love to see the results!
I have already gotten four from a class member that are incredible. I will have to get permission before posting them. She didn’t share any of her writing the first year. Amazing how the most fearful are the most genius.
Here is a haiku I wrote in high school. I still remember driving down the hill on a clear day, with beautiful mountains shining behind the Los Angeles skyline. I had an assignment to write a haiku. This is what caught my attention:
Mountaintops of snow
Looking out of place
Behind the busy city
I love this one as well, but I have to sing counterpoint.
Before the mountains
of snow, Regal and Pure,
sprawled the dirty city
Cool idea.
Fun, I have a friend that always challenges my writing and extends them. I love it.
Love the image, but I would switch the pattern to 5 7 5, just because I am obsessive about rules. LOL.. Read both ways out loud and see what you thing. Mountaintops of snow, Behind the busy city, Looking out of place.
Actually, you’re right….it originally did have the 5 7 5; I just wasn’t paying attention how I typed it here. “behind” should be at the end of the second line. Thanks
This is great. 🙂 Isn’t it amazing how the simple things in life can inspire so much writing?
Hmm… I love poetry, but I always write free-verse. My Haikus are not very good… Oh well. I’ll give it a whirl!
Voices meld
The embodiment of emotion
In the form of song.
Well, not even sure if that qualifies as a haiku. Oh well! The inspiration is from choir practice this morning.
I like this one, it just needs a little revision. The ideas, though, are very sound and interesting.
The ever changing
Pattern of falling water
Shatters on smooth rocks
I really enjoyed this piece, especially in regards to the pattern “shattering”, it provides a vivid image for me. Good job.
I love the juxtaposition you’ve used with shatters and smooth. This is very elegant.
Vivid.
Thoughts left unspoken
Regret now swirls in my breast
It was not yet time.
I find haikus particularly challenging since I am usually inclined to elaborate. (Many would say I elaborate too much.)
This is my first post here, and I’m a bit nervous. I just discovered this blog last week….and I think I’m in love.
Thank you for this topic in particular. It really helped me practice condensing my thoughts, and it also allowed me to express some feelings I encountered today.
Welcome Cath!
Thank you Winnie!
Welcome. No need to be nervous, we don’t sharpen our axes around here. To be honest, I don’t even think we have axes around here, though some of us may put them into our stories.
Welcome to a remote part of the internet. A safehaven. I’ve never seen people attack each other, shout profanity, or even employ the art of contradiction on here. It truly seems like an oasis these days.
I hope that this wonderful community helps you grow as a writer, as it has done for me.
Excellent post, I love the last line the most.
Where’s your ax, James? 🙂
Don’t wear me thin, lassie! I know a dangerous quote or two!
“got my axe embedded in [Someone’s Computer] system!” – Gimli from LOTR
It’s great to be a Hacker!
I gave it to Greybo, my dwarf.
Stuck in someone else’s writing. Mine is too special to get the axe… I might hurt my feeling 😛
Thank you very much James. I agree with you, wonderful places like this are becoming increasingly rare. Phew, that’s good to know. (regarding the axe bit) Thank you so much for your opinion, you’ve made my day!
Welcome Cath! We’re happy to have you here. The community is very supportive, so I hope you enjoy your time spent practicing and connecting.
The haiku is good by the way, especially the first and third line. In the second I may recommend a bit of disarranging, cutting down to the core.
Thank you so much for the compliment, critique, and warm welcome! I really appreciate it, especially coming from you. Fantastic post by the way!
I, too, just came across this site very recently and posted for the first time 2 days ago. The feedback and idea sharing is amazing. THANK YOU.
I haven’t developed a consistent writing practice yet, but with a great source of inspiration such as this, I am certainly inspired to move further into the surf.
Come join us, the water is fine!
With the topic of your haiku, I am moved to share a piece I wrote years ago, six months after my sister died from melanoma cancer. She was truly inspiring.
Unspoken words . . .
The unspoken words – were felt, though not uttered. I can only trust that the bond between sisters, developed and reshaped and tested and reaffirmed over years, provided the conduit through which thoughts and feelings and hopes and dreams and fears deftly, nimbly entered the other’s heart and mind. I so wish I could have provided the palette upon which all of my sister’s thoughts could have been presented aloud, easily given and tenderly taken. Some of that happened of course, but the years ahead and the experiences behind will have to bring into being that which wasn’t.
The dance of wondering what can be said – to support, to speak the truth, to not offend or dispirit, to recall the past and greet the future – a future which was not requested, but which must be embraced to live the present. A feather drops from above, floating down in random patterns in between Sheri and I – closer to her, then angling towards me, amid our thoughts which float through the air, then gently touching down.
Words can’t be counted on — to be there when you need them, to express exactly what you know inside should just come flowing out. I think that’s why love is such a strong bond – you truly can feel the unspoken words.
swa 10/24/00
Tears, pain, and memories say more than words ever will.
“…and I think I’m in love” …. delightful
I agree with you, the haiku is a great way for condensing thoughts. I can identify with the sense of regret, and leaving things unsaid. The last line is a mystery though. It begs the question, why?
I love how you put this emotion of regret into words. I have felt this before (haven’t we all?!).
Rain sprinkles outside
Fresh purifying smell of
Water drops from above
Creates a beautiful scene. Nice imagery, and use of smell. Might need a second verse of Haiku to carry on why it is so important. I mean, we are talking poetry here, if we can’t express ourself, then we are missing the point.
My foot squinched a bug
Flat, wet, two-dimensional.
Candle drew it in.
Sambals, curried eggs,
Papadoms and samoosas,
Then chillis, to cool?
Label inviting
Unscrew lid, springs up in air.
Past its sell-by date
So cute, Winnie!
First one: What?
second one. Breakfast? What?
third one. AH! I like the last one, but I think a sense of smell on the last line would be more pungent.
Thanks James and Sophie.
A silver airship soar
Lines refract the sun
A jewelry in the sky
Nice images that form a minimalist picture on blue.
Thank you!
Lovely depiction Arlan!
Thanks!
All your sparkle gave me an idea
I have neither
claw nor tooth, but am
known for my bite
I can jump to tree
or roof, and can catch
a flying kite
I am the sparkle
in your eyes, licked by me once
and you might die
Such an amazing, dreamlike image. I really visualised it.
Rainy winter night:
She mourns her lost husband like
Nature mourns the sun.
I’d suggest you leave out the word “like.” As I understand haiku, it’s an implied metaphor rather than a real one.
I agree that the metaphor should be implied. But I couldn’t come up with a version that flowed as well without the “like”.
I guess it’s a work-in-progress.
You could change it to as, but I don’t necessarily think it is an improvement.
I think this is terrific! If you are looking to change the word ‘like” how about using “when”…the haiku implies it happens at night – just a thought.
I think it is great just the way it is.
Thank you, James.
I have read this out loud several times and cannot think of a better word than like. It reads aloud well. You have followed the typical 5 7 5 pattern and I feel the grayness and the tears that accompany such a loss. The imagery is perfect.
Thank you, Cat.
Very poignant, deceptively simple, beautiful.
‘And’ would work in the place of ‘like.’ It would tie in ‘nature mourning the sun’ with the ‘rainy winter night’ better, I think. But it’s not bad the way you have it! I like the idea you expressed.
The flow of this is beautiful. I can’t think of anything I would change. 🙂
You only get so
many syllables in a
haiku, so plan ac
Planning for air
conditioning soon, hoping it
arrives before noon
When James wields his axe
word chips fly this way and that
novel carvings
See discussion below 🙂
Christine’s axe is sharp
and pink, chops yucky spiders
before they can think
Sophie,
I just wanted to say
thanks for the post, and it
got more comments than most
My thanks to you James. Your feedback to the others was invaluable. You rock. 🙂
Hey guys I really love writing. So I wrote this show. Could y’all give me some feedback in the YouTube comments? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZToh7jNkJIU
Not posting a haiku at this late date, but I wanted to say that this was, without doubt, the most powerful poetic form my high school students, many of them serious gang bangers who wouldn’t go near anything beyond rap music ’til then. We did what we called, “Pop Up Haiku battles” using haikus they wrote in a few minutes–seconds, in some cases. The idea was that as soon as you thought you had a good one, you’d to “pop up” and read it aloud in class. They didn’t have to be about nature, they just had to follow the “5-7-5” syllable structure most prescribe. It always turned into a battle between few of the bolder boys and girls, but those impromptu poetry slams are some of my fondest memories of my teaching days.
Love the idea of “Pop-up” contributions. I teach ESL to adults and will contemplate in what ways I can incorporate this concept. Totally different setting. Glad to hear about how this art form made such an impact on your students.
THANK YOU !!!, Cyn, for what I can imagine was an amazing contribution to so many youths’ lives. We never fully know the impact we have on others’ lives…now and into the future. IMAGINE all the people who all of a sudden bring forth an image of you in their mind, sparked even by some minutia of life….the warmth and vitality which fills their heart alongside their memories of your class and your teaching.
That is really inspiring. Sometimes, I think i should have been a teacher…
What am I saying?! I’m only 27. uh…. 30, nor ready for it
Hmm…I thought the pattern was 5 7 5. I see some variations. Still, I love the simplicity of the Haiku rebels. This is one of my favorite poetry forms.
Cold waters burble
Washing cpap hose with soap
Winter of his health
Sophie, thank you for your inspiring prompt. Here’s my contribution:
A dove swooping low
Parading an olive branch,
Purveyor of peace.
Messenger of hope
Arcing rainbows in its flight,
Infiltrating Dreams.
I’ve really enjoyed reading all the contributions, and the lively discussion that they encouraged 🙂
I’ve really enjoyed your peaceful depiction of the dove and its purpose in your Haiku. Great balance of detail and meaning!
Thank you James 🙂 I have a store cupboard of images that I like to draw upon, and these are some of my favourites.
Yellow, orange, red, brown,
Windy whirling, chilly change:
I am caught in Life.
I love this, yellow, orange, red, brown.
They are so deceptively descriptive. With the mention of winds, I think of leaves. When I think of leaves of yellow,orange, red, and then brown. The word change also brings this image. You are talking about Autumn.
I don’ feel, though, that the last line fits.
“We all must die”
“Death is coming”
or something would fit better. Autumn symbolizes death. This would add the depth it needs. It would also make it probably the best Haiku I’ve seen on here, and others have done extremely well.
You got it! Thanks for the compliment and your thoughts. I agree, and I was actually going back and forth with making the last line more focused on death. I think that “I am caught in Life” has an insinuation of death, although slight.
What about this:
Yellow, orange, red, brown,
Windy whirling, chilly change:
Life flutters away.
Still doesn’t seem to fit..
Yellow, orange, red, brown,
Windy whirling, chilly change:
Death, take me away
Yellow, orange, red, brown,
Windy whirling, chilly change:
Dreamy death takes me
I think you’re looking for something more startling at the end than what I was picturing. (I was trying to nicely ease into it :)) A couple more ideas that came to mind:
Yellow, orange, red, brown,
Windy whirling, chilly change:
Death’s fingers clutch me.
Yellow, orange, red, brown,
Windy whirling, chilly change:
Death grips me tighter.
I’m inspired by your autumnal haiku. Here’s my response:
Yellow, orange, red, brown,
Windy whirling, chilly change:
A snow globe world of leaves.
I like the idea of a snow globe world! It makes me think of how fast the seasons go. Before we know it, it will be winter 🙂
Very cool image, in and of itself, and I agree with Victoria that it has the effect of connecting one’s thoughts to the next season. Nice.
Why, thank you Susan. I find the exchange of ideas on these pages most helpful!
Re: the discussion re: the perception of “death” in Autumn vs. “I am caught in Life.” When I read Victoria’s lines, I felt the leaves swirling around me, and the delight of crunchy piles of autumn leaves which bring out the giggling kids in us; thus…I am caught in Life. And the change of seasons breathes life into us, keeping our senses “on their toes” with new subtleties of light and atmosphere.
Thanks for the feedback, Susan. I’m glad you could identify with the “I am caught in life” idea. I like both ideas, and I think both could be related to autumn. It just depends on the point the writer wants to get across and/or how the reader takes it.
I am working on writing for a vlog please check out my video and give me some feedback! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqSZHdlqf8g
My mind is a blank,
White canvas. It’s ready to
Be painted upon.
Nice idea, especially relating painting and mental painting. I, however, felt it needs a good trimming. Let me go get my ax. 😀
OK…Back to School Night, my son’s 7th grade Humanities teacher gave the parents an assignment to write either why we think it’s important to study history or why it’s important to be a clear and concise writer. Could have gone either way. I wrote a short paragraph about writing, but it won’t come as a surprise that I also wrote a Haiku.
Writing connects us
Ideas are shared and pondered
History is told
This is simple but elegant.
Clear and concise writing holds a readers attention and doesn’t bore them without unnecessary or ineffective details. Rapid successions of poignant details are what separate good writers from great writers.
Nothing loses my interest faster than a passage that I cannot understand. Little stinks worse than a pile of useless details.
Nine Lives Haiku
Tribute to Bailey
New home, strut my stuff
find food, water, litter box
share birding window
See plant, real? fake? bite
grind left, chump right, oh, goody
no Mommy, I want
Guests, fireplace clicks
flicker, crackle, dead ahead, MOVE
sniff, twirl, purr, heaven
Blue harness, travel
paw thigh, check gear, help steer
passenger seat hog
Tree gaily furnished
bright lights warm red velvet skirt
gift for dozing cat
Scratch, scratch, paws busy
pink nose burrows between sheets
lump quiet, tail flicks
Morning, lick, lick face
lifted, pills ready, do deed
open, glunk, kiss, praise, treat
Tuna, milk, reject
frozen stance, dry heaves, sink down
IV’s, liver fails
Needle enters hip
final pat, fur stills, eyes stare
kiss, bye love, thanks.
August at midnight
Mussed hair and hurricane eyes
Dew drops cling to lips
(this was supposed to be simple but now i’m realizing that it can be read in a few different ways)