We avoided it as long as we could, but it was bound to come up sooner or later. Today, we're covering the apparent mother of all grammatical quandaries: who vs. whom.
Subject vs. Object
I know, I know, I'm not talking about who vs. whom yet. I'll get there! But it'll be a lot easier to understand how to use those pronouns once we brush up on our subjects and objects.
Subjects and objects are both nouns (or pronouns). But they play different roles in a sentence.
The subject is usually found at the very beginning of a sentence, and is closely followed by a verb. The subject is the thing doing the verb's action.
Take a look at this example:
Kyle trembled.
The verb is “trembled.” Kyle, the noun, is the one who does the trembling. So Kyle is the subject of the sentence.
The object, on the other hand, often comes somewhere after the verb. The object doesn't do the action of the verb. Instead, it receives the action. Put another way, the action is done to it.
Kyle saw a therapist.
In this sentence, Kyle is still the subject. He's the one who “saw.” The therapist didn't see; instead, he was seen. So the therapist is the object of the sentence.
Clear as mud? Let's take it to the next level.
The Difference Between Who and Whom
Put simply, who is a subjective pronoun. Whom is an objective pronoun.
Who refers to the subject of a sentence. It goes along with the other subjective pronouns, like he, she, we, and they.
Whom refers to the object of a sentence. It fits in with him, her, us, and them.
When to Use Who vs. Whom
Let's build up to using who and whom in sentences by creating some examples to play with:
Kyle suffered from severe stage fright.
He had just started seeing his therapist.
Once again, Kyle is the subject of the first sentence: he's the one who “suffered.” This means that in this sentence, whenever we refer to Kyle, we can use who. Who suffered? Kyle.
“He” (meaning Kyle, of course) is also the subject of the second sentence: Kyle's the one who “had just started seeing.” The therapist is the object of the sentence, the one being seen. He's not doing an action; the action is being done to him.
Therefore, whenever we refer to Kyle's therapist in this sentence, we can use whom. Kyle saw whom? His therapist.
Who vs. Whom in Action
Let's take a look at these pronouns in action by beefing up our examples:
Kyle, who suffered from severe stage fright, often wondered how he ended up in his line of work as the Channel 4 weatherman.
Kyle hated that his therapist, whom he had just started seeing, didn't seem to take his phobia seriously.
This might look complicated, but it's not as bad as it seems. Just keep your subjects and objects in mind, and you'll be fine.
Kyle is the subject of the first sentence: he's the one who “often wondered.” He's also the one who “suffered.” So we use who to refer to Kyle.
Kyle is also the subject of the second sentence: he's the one who “hated” something about his therapist, and he's the one who “started seeing.” The therapist, on the other hand, is the object of the sentence. Once again, he's not the one “seeing,” but the one being seen. So we use whom to refer to Kyle's therapist.
How do you remember when to use who vs. whom? Let me know in the comments.
PRACTICE
Write for fifteen minutes about a doctor/psychiatrist/veterinarian with an unusual patient. Use who and whom properly as the bewildering situation unfolds.
Post your practice in the comments. And if you share, be sure to leave feedback for your fellow writers!
He placed his glasses on the table and arranged the papers on his desk, his usual routine before a new patient was about to arrive. John made sure that the water pitcher on the table had enough water and the pillows were arranged in the proper order. Lastly, he fixed himself a large glass of green tea that he sips on throughout most meetings.
“Uh, um, hello,” he heard as he was just sitting down in his chair. “The door was open or I would have knocked.” the new patient said.
The new patient stood there awkwardly. John looked him over before speaking. He appeared to be sixteen or seventeen, six foot one with black hair and dark features. He was wearing skinny black jeans, a black shirt and a black leather jacket. John noticed that he had an anarchy sign made of safety pins on the front of his t-shirt. It stood out as the only non-black item about his wardrobe.
“Oh! I’m sorry I didn’t hear you. Please come in. Have a seat over there on the sofa.”
The new patient sat down on the sofa and placed his hands deep in his lap.
John took his usual place in the large leather recliner that his father, also a psychiatrist, had bought him when he first opened his practice twenty years ago. John thought about his father, whom he had always admired, as he placed his glasses on and grabbed his pen and paper.
“So your mother, who is an old friend of mine, tells me you wanted to speak to somebody. Your name is Patrick, right?”, John said.
“Yeah, but nobody calls me Patrick. You can call me Pat.”, he said with a low, almost whisper, of a voice.
“What would you like to talk about, Pat?”, John asked.
“College, actually.”, Pat said.
“Okay. Well what about college would you like to talk about?”, John asked somewhat surprised.
“This is my senior year in high school and I’ve been thinking of applying to colleges lately. My mom never went to college so I asked her if there was anyone I could get some advice from. She told me that I should speak to the most intelligent person she knows and set this appointment up with you.”, Pat explained.
John began to blush and put down his pen and paper somewhat relieved. He began to realize that this was not going to be such a tough meeting after all. He took a deep breath and began to speak.
Hey this is interesting Jason. I like the description of the anarchy symbol made with safety pins on the boys shirt. The “whom” fits right in and wouldn’t even be noticeable if I hadn’t been looking for it. I see John as young and new to his job, a little afraid of a patient who really isn’t very scary. He is not the “normal” literary psychiatrist and that makes me like him. Thanks
I had to read this twice to find your “whom.” Nicely done! I like the story’s lesson about judgement as well.
I’ll pass on the whom, and get on to this ‘placing’ activity. It might be all right for John to place his goggles on the table, but not, later on, on his hooter, surely!
Why couldn’t he have just ‘put’ them on like anybody else? Il faut trouver le mot just. N’est-ce pas?
I thought I had.
“So can you treat me or not?” I asked, looking up at the bald headed doctor, mouth agape.
“I’m not awake, of course I can’t treat you.”
I sighed “Look doc, I know this isn’t easy for you, but I don’t have a ton of options. Pretend you’re dreaming if it’s easier for you.” I cocked my head to the side and whimpered. There are very few people that can resist that, and none of them become veterinarians.
“Fine.” he finally said “but if we’re doing this, let’s start now. I don’t want a dog who may or may not talk here when everyone else comes in.”
“Whom.”
“What?”
“Never mind.” I jumped up on the table, lowering my haunches gingerly. Most of the bleeding had stopped, but the bite taken from the meat of my back leg still hurt like a fucker. “You’ll see, this will be easier than your other patients. I can tell you where it hurts, I can tell you how nice you look today. I’m very polite.”
“You’re a dog whom has no vocal cords. You can’t be polite.”
“Who.”
“What?”
“Never mind. I’m not actually speaking, I’m using low grade telekinesis to vibrate the air in patterns you associate with speech. I was a test subject, the army thought it would be really cool to have some telekinetic soldiers, but they could never make the process potent enough to be useful. At least to someone with a good speech apparatus already.”
He was inspecting my wound, and as his fingers brushed it I yelped; I couldn’t help it. It was like my whole backside was a throbbing tooth, waiting to send out bolts of pain and sickly, feverish heat.
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay, just go easy. It was a guard dog, big doberman.”
“You were trying to break in someplace?”
“Break out. I told you I was a lab animal.”
“Great. I have a talking dog lying on a table who is also an escaped convict.”
“Whom.” I murmured, even as I felt another wave of dizziness.
“What?”
“Never mind, can you hurry up, please? The dog who bit me wasn’t exactly hygienic, I’m sure I’ve got an infection starting.”
“Don’t you mean whom?”
“This can’t be happening.”
The doctor patched me up just fine, and I trotted off. I had no way to pay him, which sucked for someone whom needed the money so badly.
What a story. I love the talking dog who has escaped from the lab idea. The doctor is so funny when he says he that the dog can’t talk because he has no vocal cords and when he worries about treating “an escaped convict”. You have an amazing imagination. My sister was telling me about a murder mystery series that’s come out recently with a dog as one of two partners who solve crimes. I wish I could remember the title. The dog doesn’t talk but he does think in English. This was really funny and good. Whom was used incorrectly though. I guess you meant to do that? Is the vet really sleeping? I think maybe both of these characters need to go to a psychiatrist. Have you considered doing a longer piece using these two characters?
I like your talking dog! An escaped lab animal, great concept. I agree with Marianne, I think the “whoms” are incorrectly used, but again, maybe it was intentional. Plus, I don’t claim to be any expert in this area!
Dr. Caudill didn’t know whom to expect when she saw the name “Fido” on the chart that Elsie handed her. Who would be named Fido, she wondered. Her practice as a geriatric psychiatrist encompassed many quirky elder citizens, but at least until now not one who went by the name Fido.
She pressed the intercom button to summon Elsie, who was often slow in answering a call but did have exquisitely painted and buffed fingernails.
“Send in Mr. Fido, please,” Dr. Caudill said.
“Will do, Dr. C,” came Elsie’s voice. “Who is this guy, anyway?”
“Just send him in, Elsie, and thanks.”
The door to the consulting room opened. The patient who walked in could have been 98 years or 198 years old. He looked to Dr. C as she imagined Coleridge’s ancient mariner might have looked—and he was a character whom she’d always been fascinated by.
“Mr. Fido?” the doctor asked.
“You can call me S.T.,” replied the patient. “Like Coleridge.”
Dr. Caudill hope that Fido, who was taking off his overcoat as he spoke, didn’t notice the widening of her eyes when he mention the author who had come to her mind mere seconds ago.
“Very well, S.T.,” she began. “What can we do for you today?”
“Well,” Fido said, “there’s a big ugly bird hanging around my old oak tree whom I’ve been trying to drive off, but the bastard refuses to fly away. I’m starting to wonder if the whole ominous-bird scenario is in my mind. You can tell me whether I’m crazy, I hope.”
* * *
So Dr. Caudill took on Fido’s case. After many sessions with him, she determined that there was indeed a large bird on his property. Together they worked on strategies to drive off the ornery avian, who was starting to drive BOTH of them crazy.
The strategy that finally worked was having S.T. rig a trapeze in the tree’s highest branches. Then, while hanging by his knees from the bar, S.T. shouted and waved his hands wildly. That the ancient man was someone who could pull off this stunt came as a great surprise to both doctor and patient.
The day came for Mr. Fido’s final appointment.
“I’ll never forget you, Dr. C,” Fido said. “You’re probably the only psychiatrist in the world to whom the statement ‘You can’t teach an old dog new tricks’ means nothing!”
This is so good, and again funny. I like the references to the Ancient Mariner. Is the “ornery avian” Coleridge’s onerous bird, the albatross? I do wonder if they actually shot Fido at the bird or if his swinging in the tree just scared it off. I like the final use of whom, with the comment about the old dog (Fido). This is soo good, tongue in cheek, funny. Thank you very much Elaine.
I’m not sure if this is right, but here’s a try!:
Rex eased the door open to find the room smothered in darkness. The
curtains were drawn and a blanket was draped along the top of the road
and it hung along the window’s edge to keep sunlight from seeping in.
He remembered using that trick to darken the room at naptime when RJ
was a baby. Had the mystery girl woken up while he was gone?
As if in answer to his question, a person rose from the bottom bunk.
But the shape was large in the darkness, much broader than the wisp of
a girl who had washed up down shore the night before. His hand jerked
to the pistol on his hip.
“Rex! You’re back late.”
Recognizing Dr. Miller’s voice, Rex relaxed. “Yup, I just pulled in
from Jack Pine. The train didn’t show up until almost noon. Thought I
would check on our patient before heading up to the mine, but I see
you beat me to it.” There was an awkward pause. “What exactly are you
doing, Doc?”
“The second day, post-injury, is the most critical for the patient
whom has suffered head trauma. Without the means to control
intracranial pressure – intracranial, of course, being derived from
the Latin prefix intra-, meaning within, and cranium, which is Latin
for skull, though the term originates in the Greek language – there is
little I can do beyond administering mouth-to-mouth ventilation.”
“So our subject here,” Rex began, taking a discrete stab at Dr.
Miller’s improper choice of pronoun, “is suffering from a swelling of
the brain, eh?” And of course I know what intracranial means, you
pompous man of letters, he wanted to add.
And then the gravity of the situation fell upon him. Given the
darkened room, he had assumed the girl had come to and that the
windows had been blocked off to help her rest. But mouth-to-mouth
ventilation implied the opposite: the girl was dead.
Ha! Step, not only do you write very well in setting up the scene, characters etc; but then you manage to get the whom in here incorrectly, and then, to top it off, you have Rex make fun of Dr. Miller for using it when he should have used who since “the patient” in the doctors sentence is the subject, making whom the wrong pronoun. Darn, you’re really good. In the first line there’s a little typo that I’m sure you’ll notice. You say road when you mean rod I believe.
Ha, ha – yes, “rod,” not “road!” Thanks for the feedback, Marianne. I kinda turned the old noggin inside out on this one, wasn’t sure what was which by the time I was done! 😉
You’ve got the who s–what is the plural of who?–but just missed the whom. Like most people do. Good try, though.
Are you referring to the actual “whom” that appears in the text? If so, that is an intentional misusage.
True Story: I was a PR consultant at the company.
“I’m not sure what I’m looking at here, Mr. um—“ Dr. Hogsmith looked at the chart. “Mr. Dyson. Not sure at all, but I think I recognize that smell.”
“Do I have t’explain to ya, Doc?,” asked Rex Dyson. “I’m in real live pain. Just remove it.” He wiggled side to side on the edge of the doctor’s examining table.
“Please start by telling me the name of the person with whom you are travelling. We need to know whom to call in case you pass out.”
“I’m here with my wife, who—“
“That’s a relief. Go on.”
“—my wife who heard me a-cryin’ out in utter pain and came ta running. She’s the one sitting in the ER lobby in the Rangers T-shirt. The one who has the shocked look smeared all over her face.”
“Where were you when this happened?”
“Well we were sitting around the campfire having a beer with the folks who are staying in the tent next t’ours. Nice folks they was. Then I needs ta go ta the privy. Who doesn’t after a couple, three PBR’s. Know what I mean?”
“Yes. I’m a doctor.”
So I grabs my flashlight and runs to the outhouse where I turns around to sit on the seat. Then I feel something furry on my back and I wonders who was in there first. Know what I mean?”
“Not really.”
“Somehow or t’other this furry thing behind me crawls around and then bites me. I’m in shock not knowing who was doing what. All I knowed was to whom. Me! I reach down under myself and feels a neck. When I opens both hands to grab it, my flashlight falls into the pit with a splash. But never mind. I squeeze and I holler bloody murder hoping someone would help me. Didn’t matter who. It was my wife who came first.
“I squeezed so hard I killed it. But it’s jaw was clamped on me. I think rigor mortis set in fast. Cuz here it is, still dead, still clampin’.”
“Got insurance?”
“Sure. I don’t remember to whom my wife gave the card. I think it was the receptionist who took it.”
Just then the phone rang and the doctor walked over to the gray metal desk next to the sink. “Dr. Hogsmith here. Yes. Yes. I see.” The doctor turned around and gazed sadly at the poor camper, who sat on the examining table with a big black fur ball on his lap. “I have some bad news, sir. My receptionist has just spoken with the Risky Business Insurance Company, and an account manager, who was named Flo, was quite curt and unapologetic. She explained that their claims section shows no allowance for a skunk-ectomy. I’m sorry.”
I like this!
ahhh, Liz, you are always a balm for my grammar-weary embattled brain! this stuff is so important, alas, but only for a chosen few.
a cursed blessing, to be sure, to be counted as one who deeply values the “m” that makes a who, a whom. thanks for being so brave!
now, how about who’s, and whose?!?
Next week, Kati. I’ve also seen that more often than I would like. Drives me bananas.
i shall wait with baited breath 🙂
The phrase is “bated breath.” 🙂
Ha! Quite true, but it is quite intriguing to think of a breath dangling with trepidation, pierced by a hook, and about to be cast into the sea.
how awesome maribeth, never knew this, guess i’ve never seen it in written form! (i actually always had Joe’s visual of the hook in my brain)
i had to check out the backstory on the phrase. here’s what answers.com had to say:
BATED is short for ABATED, or ceased; it just means holding your breath. Bated breath is breathing that is difficult because of emotion.
now i think i like the phrase even more.
“Good morning, Mr. Arkin, please come in and have a seat.”
Mr. Arkin, nodded at his psychiatrist, but didn’t sit. He stood near the door, eyeing a large potted dracena, which looked like a six foot tall corn plant. It occupied the corner near the window.
“Have a seat, please, Mr. Arkin,” the psychiatrist gestured toward a large comfortable looking armchair across from his own seat, and also across from the shiny green dracena.
“Are you going to introduce me to him?” said Mr. Arkin, his eyes still on the plant.
“Introduce you to whom, Mr. Arkin?”
“Him in the green suit, the big guy. Is he a football player?”
“There’s nothing in the corner but a plant Mr. Arkin.”
“Plant,” said Mr. Arkin, and he took a seat but kept his feet squarely on the floor and his back straight. He nodded at the plant, and winked.
“Are you taking your medication Mr. Arkin?”
“Yes, but there’s a plant in the room. He’s onto us.”
“Did you take you medicine this morning, Mr. Arkin. When did you last take your medicine?”
“I take it whenever they tell me to.”
“When who tells you too?”
“Not the plants that’s for sure”
The psychiatrist picked up the phone, rang his secretary, and asked her to make sure there was a room available on the psychiatric unit.
“If there are any plants in the available room, please ask whoever is in charge today to have them moved out.”
I think you nailed them both, and in voice with the characters, no less. Great dialogue, too.
Thank you Steph
Excellent concept. You are to be complimented for brilliancy!
Loved this line:
“Plant,” said Mr. Arkin, and he took a seat but kept his feet squarely on the floor and his back straight. He nodded at the plant, and winked.
Good job! Was snickering as I read.
The who/whom is not so simple. Because it’s not just a nice logical grammar question. It’s also a question of style and social class. The writer needs to consider the reaction she wants from her readers. Whom is offensive, snobbish to the ears of most English speakers today.
I agree! In my submission, I used “whom” for characterization and a hint at growing conflict between two members of different social classes. Thanks for putting this into words. Now, whether or not I used it incorrectly correctly or not is still awaiting judgement :-).
You’re absolutely right, Skipper, characterization matters when deciding whether to use who or whom. That’s one thing that makes my partnership with Joe here on the Write Practice fun: as much as I’m a stickler for grammar, he throws the rules out the window and makes his own when he writes. That’s the beautiful thing about writing: we have established rules, but ultimately, it’s your decision how you use them!
Thanks for your comment! Happy writing 🙂
Angie was closing up when she heard the rear door open. The rear door that she’d just locked. As quietly as she could she went to her desk and took out the flashlight she kept for emergencies. She felt its weight, and concluded it would make a serviceable club. Then she moved toward the rear door.
“I’m not here to hurt you,” she heard his voice before she saw the man. He was mostly in shadow, what little of him she could see was illuminated by a streetlight shining through a window. His hand were empty, palms facing toward her.
She could see that he was unarmed, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t a threat. She kept her flashlight ready. “Who are you?”
“I’m someone who needs help.” She didn’t disagree, the longer she looked at him the more convinced that he was injured and in pain. It wasn’t any one thing, more his overall appearance. “I was hit by a car.”
“I’m a vet. If you’re not a spaniel you don’t belong here. Go to a hospital.”
“Doctors can’t help me.”
“Why not?”
“Because I need someone, whom I can trust, whose training includes how to treat wings.” He took a pained step forward, and as he moved further into the light of the window Angie saw something that wan’t possible. On his back were two giant wings. Mostly white, but stained with blood.
She struggled for words, she struggled to process anything. The flashlight hit the floor, but she didn’t notice dropping it. “Who are you?”
“My name is Colin, we met once before.”
–
The lights were on, Colin was sitting on a table while Angie examined his wings. The left seemed fine. The right one not so much. Angie told Colin she’d never done anything like this before, he suggested she imagine he was a giant parakeet.
“It’s broken. I’ll have to set the bone.”
Colin sighed, “Great.”
“So, who hit you?”
“A jerk for whom nothing is sacred, least of all the traffic laws. I was- OW!”
“Sorry. I told you I had to set the bone.”
–
“So, where will you go?”
“Whither.”
“What?”
“’Whence did you come?’ ‘Where are you?’ ‘Whither will you go?’ You should have said ‘whither’ not ‘where’.”
“I’m not going to say that. That just sounds silly.” Colin stared at her. “Who says that?”
“I do.”
“The question stands: to what place are you going?”
“Probably into the woods. I’ll find an isolated spot where there’s no one by whom I will be seen.”
chris the cynic – What is that from, and where can I get it?
This was great! You really started capturing me with, “If you’re not a spaniel, you don’t belong here.” Then the surprise of the wing. Nicely done! I enjoyed it.
Great job, would love to continue reading! Loved the surprise of the wings too.
Covered this topic in a grammar curriculum with my 6th & 8th grader. It said use who as a subject or a predicate nominative, otherwise use whom. We rearrange questions into sentence form (unless it’s a question that could also be a statement), pick out the subject, and then decide if the “who” refers to the subject. If it does not then they know to use whom.
Kombi Servisi,
Kombi Servisi
The real problem about who vs whom isn’t remembering; it’s that using “whom” often comes across as pretentious: “To whom do you wish to speak? even “whom do you wish to speak to?” To be correct, most of time it’s best to rephrase. Years ago a parody of this was used when the telephone operator would say “Is this the party to whom I’ am speaking.” The real problem area is not who and whom. It’s “between you and me.” Many people say “between you and I” wrong for the same reason as Who am I talking to? But it “between you and I” somehow tends to feel more correct. Sometimes this is characterized as an “educated error.”
being the grammar-phile that i am, this is the clearest explanation of who vs whom i have seen! thanks for this simple explanation!!!
John would have vivid dreams in who acted in the best interest of the people would always win.
His friends couldnt understand putting others before themselves. To them whom ever didnt win would lose. Who ever saw it differently was an outcast.
I love it when someone stands up and shouts this. Thank you so much. I am sick of being called a pedant for caring about it.
Would this be correct?
He who laughs last laughs at whomever he chooses.
Absolutely! That’s a great line!
Nicole, who drives the sport car to work.
Nicole love that his boyfriend, whom she has been dating for 8 years, had finally propose to her and give her that car as wedding present.
Is it correct?
You’ve got “who” and “whom” in the right places! Nicely done. I noticed a few other little problems to touch up:
Nicole, who drives the sports car to work, speeds on the highway.
“Who drives the sports car to work” is a dependent clause, which means it can’t stand alone as a whole sentence. “Nicole” is the subject of the larger sentence. The dependent clause gives us more information about Nicole, but the subject still needs another verb to go with it—that’s why I added “speeds on the highway.” That’s also why in the example above, the sentence with “who” is: Kyle, who suffered from severe stage fright, often wondered how he ended up in his line of work as the Channel 4 weatherman. “Kyle, who suffered from severe stage fright” couldn’t stand alone as a whole sentence, but when we give the subject (Kyle) a verb (wondered), it becomes a full sentence.
Nicole loves that her boyfriend, whom she has been dating for 8 years, has finally proposed to her and given her that car as a wedding present.
“Her” refers to Nicole—”his boyfriend” would mean Nicole is male. The only other change I’ve made in this sentence is to keep all the tenses consistent. I switched them to present tense because this sounds connected to the first sentence, which is also in present tense.
I hope that helps!
I just learned it the easy way – if you would use “him,” you would use “whom.” As for an example:
He made a dismissive gesture, as if throwing something away. “You may go about your duties, Governor Drona.” Tahmores reached out and picked up some papers, looking them over, ignoring the man completely.
Drona sat there for a moment, dumbfounded, his mouth hanging open. “I—”
Tahmores looked up once more. “You may go,” he said again. This time his voice was quieter, calm but still cold. He looked back down at the papers and refused to look up again.
After a long moment, Drona stood up from his chair, his feet shuffling as he sought to make sense of it all. At last he huffed a breath, turned, and left the office, closing the
door quietly behind him.
When Drona was gone, Tahmores tossed the papers down on the desk in disgust. He leaned back in his chair, elbows on the arms and fingers steepled against his mouth. How had his plans gone so far astray? How could two people on whom he relied so heavily be so at odds? Honorable, he tried to be; naïve, he was not. He would stake his
reputation that Ari Dillon was doing exactly as she said, for the reasons she said. No-one, he thought, could be that consummate an actor as to fake the emotion he saw in her eyes, heard in her voice. On a stage, perhaps, before the skênê—but not here, not so close that he could reach out and touch her.
No. He would venture his reputation, and the welfare of his House, that Ari Dillon meant every word she spoke. More, now he must hazard his daughter’s life on it. Until this was
resolved, Sya would have to live in her courtyard, walk with guards, a prisoner in her own House.
Tahmores turned to look out onto the garden outside his office, but he could no longer see the sunlight.
This was interesting to read. I like the details. It had me trying to imagine exactly what the backstory was and what was going to happen next.
Thanks, Susan!
Drona is deliberately misjudging Ari at a time when she is risking her life and sanity to protect their House. Tahmores, Master of the House, had wanted Drona’s input in the situation, and was trying to resolve Drona’s issue in order to be able to get it. But Drona has closed his mind and has manufactured an entirely false scenario, placing the blame on Ari in as offensive terms as can be imagined. Tahmores realizes there can be no resolution, and decides to leave Drona out of the affair.
I agree with you on the he/who, him/whom trick. Whenever I get stuck, I restructure the sentence in my head to work out he vs. him.
I enjoyed your example! I was engaged and curious, trying to puzzle out how all the characters knew each other and what they were up to, and I appreciated your contextual comment below. I particularly like the last few paragraphs of free indirect discourse; I think you walk us through Tahmores’s thought process and resolution very effectively.
The one sentence that tripped me up was, “This time his voice was quieter, calm but still cold.” To me, that felt like a lot of adjectives at once. Other than that, though, the whole piece read very smoothly.
And of course, neat and correct use of “whom”!
Thank you for sharing your piece!
Liz Bureman’s got me foxed in her first, long sentence. Why not ‘more than a healthy interest’?
Thanks for the post, Liz. Here’s my practice. I teach academic writing, so I better have gotten this right : ) [unless I just didn’t proofread well]. I had fun starting to develop the story based on the prompt. I usually write poetry, so this is a good start for me.
The psychologist, to whom I hadn’t spoken in years, came out to the waiting area.
“Delilah, good to see you again. You’re a patient whom I’m always glad to see.”
“Likewise, Doctor. Your receptionist, whom, by the way, I really can’t stand, told me you could squeeze me in.”
“For a patient like you who is loyal to my practice and dedicated to your own personal growth …certainly!”
The two of us walked past the receptionist (who was giving me a snide sideglance) into the therapy room. Strange, but that room always gave me a warm feeling; I felt transported to an Italian villa, of all things. I had heard, actually, that the interior designer who created the space had studied in Florence when she was in her twenties. Thus, I knew whom I could thank for the solace I felt there (at times more so from the ambiance than the professional whom I had to pay big bucks). My essence was nourished by the ivory butter cream paint on the walls and the rich, soft fabric on the large chair which engulfed me as my mother’s hug … my mother, who was the reason for my visit there.
“How would you like to begin today? Is there any person whom you’d like to talk about?”
Neatly done—you’ve woven who and whom in an impressive number of times! And not to worry, every one is correct. 🙂
I enjoyed reading this piece. It makes me wonder why Delilah used to see the psychologist, why she hasn’t in a while, and what’s happened with her mother to bring her back in. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you, Alice. The fact that it made you curious about the rest of the story is very encouraging. Your comments helped make me think some more about what that story would be, as well!
Thanks so much! That can be confusing! But, you have explained it wonderfully and concisely. I understand now. Who-Subject. Whom-Object.
There’s a bit of a logic error in the last example. The object of the sentence is actually the entire clause, “that his therapist … didn’t seem to take his phobia seriously.” The therapist is the subject of the subordinate clause, as one would say “that she didn’t seem to take his phobia seriously.” So why is whom the proper use? The reason is not because of the referent’s case, but the fact that “whom” is the object of yet another clause, “whom he had just started seeing.”
You’re right! It’s a complicated example sentence. Thanks for pointing that out!
Abigail looked around her new spacious office. What a pleasure it will be to see her clients in the newly renovated space. She swiveled her chair to the window, which overlooked a quiet street from the second floor of the building. The tall trees were once again blooming after a long and harsh winter. Abigail sighed with happiness. She loved her job. She loved helping people. She loved seeing her clients’ sad and anxious eyes turn to gradual calm and acceptance. Abigail was a therapist who loved her work.
Her first client of the day on that Wednesday morning was Molly, whom she looked forward to each week. Molly suffered from severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in regard to cleanliness. Abigail loved seeing Molly. She felt that she had much potential, especially after she left each week, a sparkling clean scent in her wake…
“Hi Molly,” Abigail greeted the woman in a cheerful voice. Today Molly was dressed in a thick lime green spotted cardigan draped with a yellow scarf, matched with a long brown and black striped skirt. Abigail, who liked fashion, had to keep from blinking at the combination.
Molly didn’t respond. Abigail’s client first opened her large, bright red, leather pocketbook and removed her supplies. Out came a can of Clorox spray, a clean rag, a mat which she would use to cover the chair, and a bottle of hand sanitizer. First she carefully cleaned the arms of her chair. Then Molly covered it reverently with her mat. Finally, she cleaned her hands six times.
Molly looked up. “Hi,” she answered. “Would you like to use some?” she offered her sanitizer to her therapist, whom she felt understood her like no other.
I really enjoyed this! I like the details, for example:
– “The tall trees were once again blooming after a long and harsh winter.”
– ” … a sparkling clean scent in her wake…” — became apparent after I read through the story
– the description of the clothes
” Abigail, who liked fashion, had to keep from blinking at the combination.”
“…covered it reverently with her mat.” and the explanation of her whole routine.
– and the fact that Molly didn’t respond until her routine was complete, and that she offered Abigail some sanitizer.
A couple sentences seem a bit short, but I like how the story flows. Definitely can imagine the scene.
Thanks!! I had fun imagining it while writing, too!
This is great! I enjoyed reading this and watching how Abigail and Molly interacted. I like the details about fashion, and I especially like “She felt that she had much potential, especially after she left each week, a sparkling clean scent in her wake…” That ellipsis has me curious about Molly’s potential and Abigail’s interpretation of it.
And of course, you got all your “who”s and “whom”s in nicely!
In the next-to-last paragraph, you refer to Molly as “Molly,” “Abigail’s client,” and “she.” After the first sentence, it’s clear the paragraph’s about Molly, and by this point, we know Molly is Abigail’s client. I found the multiple identifiers in the paragraph a little distracting, so I’d suggest changing some of those identifiers to “she.” If you end up with too many “she”s, you could try combining sentences.
Overall, very nicely done. I enjoyed this! Thank you for sharing!
Enjoyed this! Your description of Molly’s ritual was unexpectedly funny. Like watching somebody tell a joke with a poker face. Like the ending too!
The doctor who I saw this morning was wearing a blue uniform.To whom do I take this to , he ask . I use whom when there is an object . Am I correct
Please reply to what I have written.
I did already , thank you
Sally ate the cookie , sally become the subject ‘ the cookie was eaten by sally , the cookie becomes the object , the object can also be a person
You’re close! You got “whom” in the right place in the second sentence—nicely done!
It’s true that you use “whom” when there is an object . . . but not the kind of object you’re thinking of, like a box on a table. In grammar, “object” refers to the role a word plays in a sentence. The subject does an action to the object. Like this:
Sally ate a cookie. Sally is the subject: she’s the one who ate. The cookie was eaten, so the cookie is the object.
But the object of a sentence can be a person, too. Like this:
Sally called Bob. Sally’s still the subject: she’s the one who called. Bob didn’t call; instead, he was called. So the object of this sentence is Bob.
Let’s break down your first sentence: The doctor who I saw this morning was wearing a blue uniform.
who I saw this morning is a dependent clause that gives us more information about the doctor. A clause is a group of words with a subject and a verb, and “dependent” means it can’t stand alone as a complete sentence on its own.
The subject of the whole sentence is The doctor. BUT if we look at JUST the clause, the subject of the clause is actually I: I saw.
Who did I see? I saw the doctor. Therefore, the doctor is the object of the clause. That means we use whom here: whom I saw this morning.
Putting the sentence back together again, we get:
The doctor, whom I saw this morning, was wearing a blue uniform.
I know this explanation is long and complicated. I hope it helps! Please feel free to ask questions if I’ve left you confused.
To,AliceSudlow,IUnderstant when to use whom and who . Thank you for the imformatiom
What do you think of the rule of thumb to use ‘whom’ between two pronouns? That’s what I’ve been going with.
I’ve never heard that trick before, but I’d imagine it works! My favorite trick is to rearrange the sentence to use either “he” or “him.” If the alternate sentence would use “him,” I need “whom.” Thanks for sharing!
No worries! Will keep in mind your trick too.
A critic once left me a note – He-WHO HIM-THEM-WHOM…
I agree. I use he/who Him/whom myself. The ending M help me remember.
Thanks Liz. As clear as the water once the mud has settled. And Chris the Cynic – that rear door creaking open. The stranger’s out stretched open hands. The blood on his wing feathers. Nicely done.
The angel who had an altercation with a car, whose driver should have driven with more care.
English is not my first language and I often (too often!) forget that “whom” exists. I knew all these rules (I also happen to be an English teacher, haha), but this post came as a nice reminder. Thank you! =)
The vet, who liked boasting that nothing could surprise him any more after fifteen years of practice, was about to be proven wrong.
“It’s a snail.”
The boy looked up from his sniffling. “Erh?”
Was there any point repeating his observation? Yeah, Cole, Captain Obvious to the rescue.
“Ah…what can I do for your…snail?” Try as he might, he couldn’t entirely keep the note of disbelief out of his voice.
The boy – who couldn’t be more than ten – didn’t seem to notice. “His name is Gary! He’s got a hole in his shell. Can you help?”
Yes, Cole had noticed the problem. If he were Captain Obvious, this boy could be his sidekick. He briefly entertained himself thinking of possible nicknames. Duh-Boy? Robin, the Boy Blunder?
“How did he get a hole in his shell?” Out of the many, many questions Cole wanted to ask, this was the one that made it out.
The boy looked sheepish. “I, uh, poked a hole in it.”
Cole had lost count of how many patients he had encountered for whom nothing could be done. This, however, was his first time meeting an owner for whom nothing could be done.
“And would you mind me asking why you did that?” Okay, the boy had to have noticed the tone of his voice now.
“Well…I was trying to teach him to do tricks. I tried ‘fetch’, but he didn’t do that so well. Then I tried ‘sit’, and all the websites say you’ve got to apply pressure to your pet’s butt. And, uh…his shell broke.”
Cole looked at the snail, whom was – which was, why was he following this boy in referring to it as a person? – sitting on his table, and sighed.
You don’t need a vet. You need a psychiatrist.
*
Unexpectedly fun practice! Not sure about the ‘whom’ in my second last paragraph. Ignoring the fact that a snail’s not a person, would it be right to say ‘Cole looked at the snail, whom was sitting on his table, and sighed’?
I use who when I refer to the subject and whom when I refer to the object.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is one of those rules I *almost* knew. 80% of the time I’ll get it right, but it’s the other 20% that plagues me!
Let’s tweak your sample sentence: Kyle hated that his therapist, [who or whom] had just started treating him.
Now, as a pronoun with the object (therapist) as the precedent, “whom” would seem appropriate; however, as the subject of its own verb (had started treating) in its own phrase, “who” seems appropriate. Help, please!
The part of your sentence after the comma has actually turned the tables–the subject and object have been interchanged with respect to the new verb.
It should be easy to understand if you think about it this way:
a) Who hated whom?
b) Who had just started treating whom?
Answer:
a) Kyle (subject) –hated– Therapist (object)
b) Therapist (subject) –treated– Kyle (object)
So, in your case the correct answer is “who”: Kyle hated that his therapist, who had just started treating him.
Hope this helps.
Thank you. First instinct’s right. Overthought it.
To answer the question of who or whom for the sentence. I was wrong, thought it should be who. This is great stuff to learn and know. Thank you for this lesson. 🙂
I think I remeber this from last year. But, it is good to get a refresher course. Thank you.
Wonderful explanation.