Do feelings of inadequacy keep you from writing more often and publishing your work?
Do you suspect your friends pity you and only praise your work because they don't want to hurt your feelings?
Do you fear the words you put on the page will never match the quality of the ideas in your mind?
As writers, we all deal with feelings of inadequacy from time to time, but some writers feel plagued by them. Let's face it—writing with confidence is hard. But if you allow yourself to wallow in these feelings, you won't write enough to improve your work. If you don't improve your work, you'll never build a writing career you love.
How do you escape these feelings?
You can reshape the stories you tell yourself about your work, but will you?
When Self-Doubt Comes Crashing Down
I experienced a nearly career-crippling moment a few months ago.
I spent the week working on the draft for my second book, a blog post on my website, and a guest post for another blog. In total, I wrote more than 8,000 words.
I reviewed my work. It all looked like rubbish—not the normal “crummy first draft,” rubbish—the type of writing you read and think, “Why am I even doing this?”
I thought about deleting every word and giving up. Thankfully, I remembered the ideas I'm about to share with you and pushed forward.
I revisit these ideas when ever I feel stuck, and I bet they'll help you too.
Focus on Helping Others
You're a writer, so you spend a lot of time—likely too much—in your head. You want your words to be perfect so you can feel good about yourself.
If a heavy object trapped your child underneath it, you wouldn't question your strength before trying to lift it. You'd do everything in your power to save them, regardless of your capabilities.
As a writer, it's your job to save readers through your words.
Words lift weight off people's souls, give them an escape from their hectic lives, and touch their hearts. When you focus on the impact your words will have on other people, you'll start writing with purpose, conviction, and strength.
Adopt a Growth Mindset
Let me know if the following scenario describes you.
Your parents and teachers praised you for your intelligence and talent instead of your effort. They always told you how bright you were and how much potential you had.
This type of praise seems benign, but it often leads to a “fixed mindset,” which has a perilous impact on self-image and effort.
“Parents think they can hand children permanent confidence—like a gift—by praising their brains and talent. It doesn’t work, and in fact has the opposite effect. It makes children doubt themselves as soon as anything is hard or anything goes wrong. If parents want to give their children a gift, the best thing they can do is to teach their children to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort, and keep on learning. That way, their children don’t have to be slaves of praise. They will have a lifelong way to build and repair their own confidence.”
—Carol Dweck.
Don't be a slave to praise. Embrace challenges. You're reading a blog post on The Write Practice, not The Write Perfectionist.
Research shows us our abilities aren't fixed. You have room to grow as a writer, and you will improve as long as you continue to practice.
Real writers write and hit publish, even when they don't feel like it, because they know it leads to growth.
You can be just-another-writer with a dusty manuscript sitting in their drawer, or you can focus on growth and improvement, regardless of your opinion on your writing skills.
Have Fun
I used to believe writing had to be painful. I've read many a story about the tortured artist who slaved over their work—at the cost of their sanity—to make it great.
The idea of the “tortured artist,” damages confidence, and we need to stop internalizing it in our own work. Pain and art don't have to intertwine with one another. It's okay to have fun!
I enjoy writing. I never had intentions of becoming a big shot author when I started. I just wanted to write.
When I take myself too seriously, my work suffers.
Go back to the “why” behind your writing. You have amazing ideas, clever stories, and interesting characters dancing around in your head.
Don't force them out. Let them out.
What reminders help you keep writing with confidence even when you're filled with self-doubt? Let us know in the comments.
PRACTICE
What's something about writing that scares you? Maybe you're not sure how to write believable dialogue; or you've hit writer's block in the middle of your novel; or you just re-read your first draft and now you feel like a terrible writer; or you have a brilliant idea for a blog post, but you're afraid of sharing it with the world.
Today, look that fear straight in the face—and write anyway. Pick up a piece of writing you've put down, or tackle a project you've been avoiding. Take fifteen minutes to write. When you're done, share your writing in the comments, and don't forget to leave feedback for your fellow writers!
“When you focus on the impact your words will have on other people, you’ll start writing with purpose, conviction, and strength.”
I couldn’t agree with this more. Great writing is more about empathy than it is about perfect grammar and punctuation.
Thanks for the thoughtful reply Bryan. I think focusing on what you can do for others is the key to success in every avenue of life.
Sometimes the universe delivers what we need to hear, and I needed this message today. Its so easy to get caught up in perfection, you begin to forget why you started writing in the first place. Lately, this is a place where I get stuck.
Thank you for the reminder.
Hey Christy,
I agree. Sometimes a bit of fresh perspective is all you need to get back on the horse again.
Thanks for the thoughtful reply!
Thankyou for this beautiful article . This z what I needed the most. Writing for me is a challenge and it comes with a lot of apprehensions, fears, hopelessness and I doubt my potentials. I struggle , and write with all reluctance but eventually I realise it is growing and proceeding in a right way…The more I write, more ideas start showing up and I feel contended in d end.
But this entire process starts with a doubt and that’s a big challenge for me to overcome. I think we should give vent to our ideas, feelings and keep writing even though it seems to be a trash because I’m thankful to write practice to teach me that a write up is not written rather it is re-written until we get a final draft worth publishing…
And lastly very rightly said, writing is a way to express our feelings and or words can be a source of inspiration for many. The experiences we share can have a huge impact irrespective of our improper phrases and broken sentences . So keep writing.
Hi Zaira,
Yes. Keep writing and continue to remember your writing can be a gift for other people. Here’s to your writing success in 2017!
Hello. I did very well at school because I had a photographic memory, and, as you pointed out Ayodeji, I was praised by my parents and teachers for my good ;marks and NOT for the effort I put in for achieving them. I was actually quite lazy academically although I was also curious and read a lot, including newspapers. Then I was involved in serious car accident when I was 18, a year after finishing school. Amongst other internal injuries, I fractured my skull and suffered an anurism. As a result, my memory was seriously impaired and my personality affected in that my self-confidence vanished and I felt like I couldn’t and wouldn’t achieve anything. That was 35 years ago and in the last 10 I have made many attempts at writing short stories, novels and poems. My negative feelings towards my own writing culminated in my throwing it all away (I had been writing in school exercise books) about 2 years ago, while I was spring cleaning. Then I succumbed to the urge to write again in August last year and started my own wordpress writing blog. It has been a very rewarding experience having fellow writers reading and commenting on my writing but
I have only attempted very short pieces. As soon as I try and write pieces longer than a couple of thousand words, ideas and inspiration dry up and I start to panic that they will never come back and so I give up on that story and try again with another and so on and so on. But I am encouraged again by your article and positive support to people who want to succeed in writing and being read and ultimately published.
Hi Kim,
I am sad to hear of your accident at such a young age. I too know the impact of a traumatic brain injury. I take care of my brother, who has severe short term memory issues. Every day is a new day for him.
What struck me about your post is how you are not giving up. I love that spirit in you. What you wrote here not only shows your talent in writing, but also teaches the world about TBI. I was able to picture your struggle and was left with empathy plus respect.
What I learned from my own blog is blog readers only like short pieces, their impatience makes them quick to hit the escape key. Maybe that will help you when your self talk starts to send you into a panic. One thousand words or less is perfect for the average reader and there is a market for that called flash fiction.
I hope you have printed Ayodeji’s article to keep with you for encouragement as you write. I will check out your blog as soon as I am done writing this because I am sure I am going to love it. I am glad I met you.
Do Keep Writing,
Diane
Thanks for showing Kim support Diane!!
So nice of you to notice, Ayodji. Kim is awesome.
Thanks Diane. I am unable to find employment and would like to make a career of writing as I feel it is the only thing I have any real skill in and chance of making a living doing. That’s why I get panicky when I can’t get by the 1000 word mark sometimes. Kim
I visited your blog and you have more than a chance of making a living from your writing. Your writing is amazing and encouraging. Believe in yourself for when you do anything is possible.
Opps Kim,
I forgot to ask for the name of your blog. Can you send me your blog link?
Hi Diane, the address of my blog is https://kim153.wordpress.com/
Hi Kim,
Thanks for sharing your story. I think your strategy of writing short pieces to keep the momentum going is great! I’m glad the post resonated with you!
Thanks for listening and responding Ayodeji. I will be following your words of wisdom and encouragement as much as possible. Kim
“Focus on helping others.” Yes! And I see you do this Ayodeji!
Also, when I fixed on my client’s customer’s needs I’m more effectively motivated, because I remember the purpose of my writing.
You’re a very encouraging person and I’ve been impressed with how consistently you reach out, and always in a spirit of generousity.
Happy New Year, may it be a good one for you professionally and in your personal life (kind of hard to separate in writing 😉 ).
Hey Jenette,
I try 🙂
Happy New Year to you too!
Thank you for this! I really needed to read such thing. I’ve been struggling with a chapter for weeks, and been afraid to even start writing it, because I wasn’t feeling confident enough — and it’s becoming a torture! But you’re right: I should have fun. I should write, I should remember why I started writing to begin with!
Oh, I cannot be thankful enough! This freed my soul 🙂
Hi Juliana,
I’ve been there — struggling with a chapter for weeks. Less torture, more fun is definitely the answer!
Thank you for this! Your article really helped me a a lot
Hey Amber,
You’re welcome!
“Have fun!” So true. And so underrated.
When I stopped working on projects and started playing in them, I produced higher quality words, faster.
Bonus: I unlocked my authentic voice, too.
Thanks for taking the time to share this thoughtful message with us.
Keep creating:-)
Marianne
Hey Marianne,
Thanks for the thoughtful reply! As soon as things stop being fun, I step back and reflect. Always.
Thank you. I’ve just spent the afternoon struggling with part of my latest novel that I think is boring. Too much unnecessary detail. I’ve been trying to make it come alive and not having fun doing it. Tomorrow I’m going to try to enjoy writing this section like I’ve done the rest of it.
Hey Aspholessaria,
I hope you find the fun and enjoyment in your writing again! Thanks for leaving this comment.
Ayodeji, this is such a timely and thoughtful post.
My favorite part was to focus on helping others. “…save readers with your words.”
That truly sums up what I’m trying to do with my blog. I’m an anxiety-fighter and I struggle occasionally with worrying about what other people think.
But, I know that I’m always able to overcome my negative thoughts by focusing on helping others. I just need to apply that to my writing. Thanks so much for the reminder.
Hi Aaron,
I love what you’re doing. All creative endeavors are like anxiety-fighters to me. We’re all struggling in one way or another, and creative expression is one of our best tools we can use to help others deal with their personal struggle.
It sounds like you have something great going on with your blog. I hope you take it to the next level this year!
I appreciate your words and encouragement. I’ve set a plan to take my blog further this year and I’m working my plan. I believe as long as I stay consistent and serve my readers. Everything will fall into place.
It WILL fall into place. I started four failed blogs. I remember having TWO email subscribers (one of them was me from testing my landing page) for like six months. I truly believe persistence is the only thing you need to be a successful writer or a successful anything else!
Great article Ayodeji. The bit about helping others really resonated with me. It’s so true that we get caught up in our own heads, and we forget how words might touch people’s hearts in a way we will never get to measure. Thanks as always.
Hi Sonia,
I feel like getting out of your head is the #1 goal of all goals. Getting out of your head is the first step to accomplishing ANYTHING — fitness, starting a business, WRITING.
The whole philosophy is based off the Zig Ziglar quote – “You will get all you want in life, if you help enough other people get what they want.”
Thanks for stopping by!
Enjoyed your post, your compassion and inspiration for us writers! Thanks for the Zig Ziglar quote. He is inspirational, too, and I am sorry he is no longer around to inspire us with his appropriate quotations.
Thanks! And yes Zig is great!
I think that continuous revising and editing have made us perfectionism. Personally sometimes i feel that this kill my spontaneity, and make me feel that I lack the sufficient knowledge to write anything. Deep inside I know that I have a lot to write about but once I start I revise and re-revise until I delete half of my writing then my pieces loss their soul and eventually I delete them. thanks for these information they were all very useful
Hi Jana,
Yes, perfectionism is real problem for so many of us. I gave up on wanting to be the greatest writer of all time and focused on doing the best I can do, regardless of whether or not I stack up to the competition.
It’s all about having fun and expressing yourself!
That’s very true
Excellent article, Ayodeji! I totally agree with the importance of the growth mindset.
Thanks Joanna!
Thank you for the reminder, you are right, all very helpful and will be putting a condensed version near by as a regular reminder. Hoping this will help get me started
🙂
Hi Lia,
I hope it will help you get started too! Thanks for stopping by!
Thanks Ayodeji for your article – a great reminder for those of us in the practice of writing. What keeps me going and helps me quiet the voice of doubt and inadequacy is to speak these words to myself, “Just take baby steps and keep taking action. Don’t wait for inspiration to hit. Keep writing heartfelt content and take responsibility for the story only you can tell.”
Hi Cam,
I’m glad it resonated with you. Baby steps is key. I’m 300 blog posts in and I consider my writing career five percent complete.
Thanks for the thoughtful comment!
Man what i good thing to talk about. Well for me, I am starting out was never really good in school at all. Dropped out with like 4 weeks left in my last year of school. I wanted to work. So i did and work alot but now I have these stories dying to get out and be heard. But i know I am not a very good speller at all. Most of the time I have to stop and look up words to just make sure i spelled themm right and that those are the words i am wanting to use. So half the time i just stop trying. I guess those stories are just meant to say with me. But then I a year or so passes and i try again and it is the same old stuff. I have a ton of footnotes and ideas wrote down. But then i come across a posting like this and well I just gotta say what is on my mind. Thanks for hearing me out.
Hi James,
Try some grammar and spelling books. There are also apps like Grammarly that can check your grammar for you.
Thanks for the comment!
Thanks for sharing that info. I will be checking that out.
for me its being young and how lots of people look down on me before they even read my stories.
Hey there,
I don’t think you can be too young to get started. I’m sorry there’s people in your life trying to bring you down, that’s no good. Just try focusing on what you can control.
Thanks for the comment!
Hi
I’m a primary school teacher and see that children get tired, frustrated very easily while writing stories. How do I motivate them to not give up and keep going!
Hi Arbaaz,
Are the assignments made with constraints or are the kids truly allowed to follow their imagination? The more rein you give them the more fun they’ll have.
A poetry teaching book I love is called “Seeing the Blue Between.” We all have experienced the joy of looking at the clouds for animals and symbols. Ask your students to “see the blue between.” The title is from a poem by Kristen George. Other poets share their advice and fun poems in this book edited by Paul Janeczko. Amazon rates it for grades 6-10, but I have adapted it for younger students. You have caring and enthusiasm for your students so you will motivate them!
I just keep telling myself that I really don’t have anything interesting to share. It’s my way of protecting myself from rejection or challenge. You shared your own challenge which is a familiar feeling for me as well and made me feel not so alone about my fear. Thank you. Your article is inspiring and thought provoking.
Hi Deena,
The fact that you are a unique human being with DNA and experiences that can’t be replicated MAKES you interesting by default, so I don’t buy that you don’t have anything to share! I hope you’re inspired to take action.
These articles seems to come at the right time. I doubt my work every now- and- then. But, I keep going. I must. Thank you.
You’re welcome! I hope you’re inspired to take action!
I am already blocked in my fantasy novel, after the outline. The only fear is it will be voluminous .
Hi Sarojini,
I’m sorry you’re feeling blocked 🙁 If you feel like it’s going to be voluminous maybe you can pare it down after the first draft!
Many useful tips. Going back to the why really helps – and you can develop your why incredibly by reading your email and conducting surveys often. Keep your finger on the pulse and the flow itself will guide you. 🙂
Hey Anthony,
I always go back to my why when I feel lost. Thanks for the comment!
Ayo, great write-up, reminds me of a valuable lesson from Jim Rohn, “when the why is clear, the how is easy”. Nice guest post contribution, keep it up the great work.
Hey Ahmad,
Thanks. And I LOVE Jim Rohn’s work, so that’s a great compliment.
This exercise was perfect as I’ve been procrastinating about a piece of writing that I traditionally share with friends and family this time of year. I’ll share it here.
Postscript to Solstice 2016
I’ve been thinking about this message for days – each morning when I sit down with my journal, I know that day’s project is to write this postscript. So many things pop up that have to be done first: the jigsaw puzzle on the dining room table, email, facebook, things to be done for JOPPPAH, the list goes on. But, today, I have extra incentive. I’ve been doing Write Practice exercises and today’s exercise is to complete some writing I’ve been work on – while I haven’t been actively working on this – it seemed the perfect prompt and a way to accomplish two goals at once.
Our Christmas décor is back in storage – ready to re-emerge after Thanksgiving next year. Usually that signals time to add the ashes from the Solstice fire to the garden. That hasn’t happened yet – it’s just too cold to even think about it.
We are preparing for a trip to a warmer climate – leaving next week Saturday for Tucson (via Albuquerque) and on to Hemet, CA. to visit my sister. The first of our planned domestic travel for this year. I’m still struggling with my release into the Solstice fire of planning international travel. It wasn’t quite an honest release as it was just the release of planning – not that we would pass up an opportunity for more international travel. As I was writing my journal entry this morning, I began contemplating the word, “Wonder.” It contains so much possibility – meaning both curiosity and awe. We wonder what the day will bring and we are in awe when in brings something “wonder”ful and unexpected. Change one letter and you have “Wander.” I suggested to Larry that we “wander” our way back home after our visit to my sister in Hemet. Wonder what we will discover in our wandering.
Many Blessing to you and yours as you wonder and wander your way through 2017. See you around the Solstice fire next December 21st.
Thanks for sharing your writing!
I have been grinding out a path so long, without the slightest inkling of anything. Just drive, never ask why. And then other times, I stare at a piece of paper that streams down, why why why over and over. I am maybe just little these times, the room is dark, and the paper is glowing white, like my savior, and the words are ripping out of it, why, big bold black ariel letters. so plain yet undeniable truth in its question. Why do I stay here night after night staring at this page. Out side is everything bleak, and everything is full of despair. And this piece of paper, I swear is all I have.
The bells from the church down the road, are ringing out through the town now. I wander outside. The road with stubbly white grass over it, little prickly green clovers hugging the earth for their lives. as i feel the world almost seems tipped on its side and woozily walk, tight rope style along its exterior. There are sounds. But it is dark. A smoke is in the air, which catching in my throat of ash. I step across the invisible line from one place to another as I wander into woods that I quickly get lost in. There is a boy I see ahead of me. I run after him, but he is so much farther. Everytime I start to run faster to catch up he seems to get faster too. I can see his blue overhalls are not strapped on one end as it seems to bang around with his light steps. Finally I feel like I have run all night long, my stomach is strung with cramp,
And I see there is an opening. I wander past tents, and ask all the members here if they saw the boy. These are indians, and look very different from the white boy all shake their heads are looking upset at him but not saying anything.
Finally I wander out of the camps and now the boy and the house are gone. I am completely lost.
Then I think back to my family. I know I had a family once, but it was many years ago and since I set out I never saw them again. And now when I think back to them, wondering what they thought of my leaving, I wonder if they ever think about me. The memories I think of feel indistinct and weird. Like they are not real, but something from a movie someone made once. And for a brief moment I wonder if my family life was just a movie I saw and never really happened.
The forest is full of sounds. I can hear them all around me now and it is almost as noisy as a city. I crawl to the river and cup my habds in and have a drink. The water is freezing but it refreshes me.
Good story Sandra!
thank you!
You have shared some excellent advice as usual Ayodeji!
And I really like your extremely sound advice,
which certainly applies to anyone who at some point or another,
needs or wants to share their thoughts through written words.
And I definitely couldn’t agree more, with your advice, about focusing on those
you are attempting to help, not yourself!
Because doing so, almost forces your hidden creative thoughts, to move
to the front of your conscious mind.
And then your problem solving ideas start flow!Thanks for sharing some
incredibly practical, an easy to follow advice!
Hi Mark,
Thanks for stopping by. I mean you of all people know the importance of helping others because your entire business is centered around it!
Thank you so much. I often feel stuck in a rut and absolutely useless. This is therapy to my writer’s block.
Hi Agomonee,
I’m glad this post gave you a little spark. Thanks for stopping by!
If it’s not to help the reader, (oftentimes, yourself) why write on the 1st place? Course this post said that so much better!
Thanks for the comment sir!
Hi Ayodeji,
Amazing gem of a post here 🙂 Loved it.
Especially the having fun part. Because having fun is the cornerstone of any successful writing career. And because many authors/bloggers see themselves in the tortured writer aka Hemingway mold, beating themselves up over every word, tossing out thousands of words (thank goodness you held onto the 8K 😉 and pretty much destroy their careers through self-sabotage. Have fun, enjoy the ride and if you write for the fun/love of writing your career will take off.
When blogging became fun to me I cared less about any specific outcome and of course, I got featured on some really neat blogs. Fab confidence builder, having fun is.
Thanks for sharing.
Ryan
Hey Ryan,
Thanks for the in depth and thoughtful reply. Yes, I think because most writers are also avid readers, they just compare themselves to other writers too much (Hemingway). I agree with you 100 percent. Have fun and let it rip!
Oddly enough, last night the last thing I wrote on my “to do list” for today was “Have fun”. Why so serious?? Let’s loosen up. I like to compare writing to dancing (my kind of dancing anyway). I feel the music, let go, laugh and find what some might call a style (key word “some”). When I turn that idea/philosophy to writing it really shows and my own voice emerges.
Thank you for writing this practice.
Thanks for sharing with us! I’m glad you’re prioritizing fun!
A lot of very good fiction comes from writers who are in pain, who lack self-confidence, who hesitate to publish and who perish. Do you know the traumas that one of the best writers of all ages went through before writing his best work? Can you guess who this is about?
“After the battle in which he lost a hand, he remained in hospital, for about six months, before his wounds were sufficiently healed to allow his joining the colors again. For three more years he continued his soldier’s life: he participated in expeditions to nearby islands, and saw the fall of important cities to the enemy.
Then finally he set sail on a galley to his home country, with letters of commendation to his king from the Duke under which he had served. On the morning of the day as the galley approached the beloved coast of his homeland, it was attacked by pirates and he was taken to the other side of the sea, and was kept there in
captivity. After five years spent as a slave, and four unsuccessful escape attempts, he was ransomed by his parents and returned to his family. Not surprisingly, this traumatic period of his life supplied subject matter for several of his literary works, as well as episodes in a number of other writings, although never in straight autobiographical form.”
So, I think there exists a strong causal relation between real pain and true art. Paraphrasing the author of this blogpost, “Pain and art do have to intertwine with one another. It’s okay to have fun!” And I add: …But not without the pain, that gives depth to the fun.
If you want to see how this story of defeat, pain and humiliation is the underground for one of the best novels of all time, go read Don Quixote, by Miguel Cervantes Saavedra.
Hi Ton,
Thanks for the thoughtful reply. You’ve made some salient points here. I’ll have to pick up a copy of Don Quixote!
It is one of the very few novels that had me in tears towards the end. A very long novel, that is full of fun – and with the depth of true life. I hope you will enjoy it like I did.
Great reminders! There are many days, when I won’t feel like doing , but if more than one day passes, my attitude towards that task becomes sluggish, and it feels more like a failure than a burden. I heard John Maxwell say earlier today that he will not journal every day, but he will jot down ideas, and then once a week, review all of those notes, and the amount of written material is greater than he would have had when he would journal. Keep writing my friends, and be well!
Hey Ayodeji, amazing post! I often suffer with writers block, your words gave me inspiration. Great blog as always. 🙂
When I get self-doubt I increase my confidence by remembering why I do it. I’m nine years old and ever since I found out I could I wanted to be a very young author, but none of my friends or family encourage me, instead they tell me I cant because of my age! Now I write for two reasons, 1. To prove I can finish a SUCCESSFUL novel. 2. Because I love to do it!
Reply and tell me honestly, am I being an idiot thinking I can write a novel at nine years old? Please be honest.
It you write like you did here, there is no real reason not to write that novel or book…I say go for it!
The thing I discovered is to just do it. That was the advice I got from a well known author. She told me to come up with a character ad write he story. 500k word later, her story was comp!eted….well almost. I still need to do a lot of work to make her story into something to be published, but since then, I have written several other books and published my first one Dec.1 st. It wasn’t the best, just my first.
My advice, learn, write, publish, learn, write publish and repeat. The more you write, the better you get. The more you learn, the more prepared you are to write something decent. You are sharing your fantasies with the world. They don’t have to be perfect, just readable. The best praise for my first published book was: it was a good read which entertained me for three afternoons.
Why else do you write except to entertain someone? I succeeded and plan to continue to succeed one person at a time.