Michael Hyatt, the Chairman of Thomas Nelson Publishing, recently wrote an incredibly popular post (360+ comments!) describing the four disciplines of the heart. We live in a busy, stressful world, he premised. How can people have emotionally healthy lives in such a chaotic world?
He outlined four disciplines that lead to emotional health, and the one he said people struggle most with is the discipline of rest.
It left me wondering why?
I don't disagree with him. Since the beginning of the Write Practice, we've been talking about this idea of resting once a week. I believe rest will transform your writing.
So why is it so hard to rest? Do we not like rest? Do we not believe in it? What is it about rest that's so hard?
Talk to me. I'd love to hear why you have a hard time resting.
I believe rest is hard for us because when we rest, we free the “voices” in our head to come alive and haunt us. Most of us tend to live in an inner world of false peace, or in other words, denial. We try to self-sooth with thoughts like, “There’s no time for rest, you must produce if you want to be worthy of love and acceptance,” or how about, “Don’t think about that past hurt because it’s too painful. Stay busy and active so the voices can’t be heard.”
The truth of the matter is, no matter how hard we work at keeping busy and living in denial, the voices will eventually be heard, one way or another. For those who stay busy, the voices will more likely erupt in destructive behaviors; addictions, affairs, road rage, overeating, etc.
The pressure eventually builds to a point that must be released, so we have a choice; We can either let it build to the point of a destructive and devastating explosion, or we can rest each week, (a Sabbath if you will), and allow those voices to be heard in a safe, loving, God-filled place of grace. When we rest, when we live out Psalm 46:10 and be still and know that He is God, then we ask God to help us deal with the voices and find true healing. Rest is the release valve that diminishes the chance for an explosion.
Great points here, and I agree with you. I’ve had those thoughts of negativity before, thoughts of inadequacy, thoughts of plain busyness. Rest can be beautiful, but it can also be painful.
I believe rest is hard for us because when we rest, we free the “voices” in our head to come alive and haunt us. Most of us tend to live in an inner world of false peace, or in other words, denial. We try to self-sooth with thoughts like, “There’s no time for rest, you must produce if you want to be worthy of love and acceptance,” or how about, “Don’t think about that past hurt because it’s too painful. Stay busy and active so the voices can’t be heard.”
The truth of the matter is, no matter how hard we work at keeping busy and living in denial, the voices will eventually be heard, one way or another. For those who stay busy, the voices will more likely erupt in destructive behaviors; addictions, affairs, road rage, overeating, etc.
The pressure eventually builds to a point that must be released, so we have a choice; We can either let it build to the point of a destructive and devastating explosion, or we can rest each week, (a Sabbath if you will), and allow those voices to be heard in a safe, loving, God-filled place of grace. When we rest, when we live out Psalm 46:10 and be still and know that He is God, then we ask God to help us deal with the voices and find true healing. Rest is the release valve that diminishes the chance for an explosion.
Great points here, and I agree with you. I’ve had those thoughts of negativity before, thoughts of inadequacy, thoughts of plain busyness. Rest can be beautiful, but it can also be painful.
I have a hard time resting because it makes me feel like I’m lazy. “You have, like, a hundred things to do, dude! Get off your A and get to work!”
Yeah. I hear you Ryan.
I have a hard time resting because it makes me feel like I’m lazy. “You have, like, a hundred things to do, dude! Get off your A and get to work!”
Yeah. I hear you Ryan.
I decided in my twenties that it would be foolish not to constantly seek my livelihood from doing things I loved. It didn’t always work out that way, but that was always my goal. Most of those years I was a musician, but I gradually moved into writing and editing in the last decade or so. No matter how my progress toward my goals went, I have always rested aggressively—seize the rest! After a lifetime pursuit of those twin goals: doing what I loved for a living and resting aggressively, I now have a life filled with joy and rest.
I can’t help but think that, no matter how crazy or lazy people might have thought I was along the way, I picked the right goals. Life tends to be like that: in most cases we do finally achieve what we apply ourselves to. People look at my life today and marvel that I never seem to take much time off. I need very little, because I aggressively rest at every opportunity. The same people ask me what I do for fun. Fun? Hahaha! I made it! Everything I do is fun, and that is what I call success.
Aggressive rest. Seize the rest. I love it!
Instead of Occupy Wall Street we should start a protest using those slogans.
Anyway, I’d love to see what your aggressive resting looks like.
I decided in my twenties that it would be foolish not to constantly seek my livelihood from doing things I loved. It didn’t always work out that way, but that was always my goal. Most of those years I was a musician, but I gradually moved into writing and editing in the last decade or so. No matter how my progress toward my goals went, I have always rested aggressively—seize the rest! After a lifetime pursuit of those twin goals: doing what I loved for a living and resting aggressively, I now have a life filled with joy and rest.
I can’t help but think that, no matter how crazy or lazy people might have thought I was along the way, I picked the right goals. Life tends to be like that: in most cases we do finally achieve what we apply ourselves to. People look at my life today and marvel that I never seem to take much time off. I need very little, because I aggressively rest at every opportunity. The same people ask me what I do for fun. Fun? Hahaha! I made it! Everything I do is fun, and that is what I call success.
Aggressive rest. Seize the rest. I love it!
Instead of Occupy Wall Street we should start a protest using those slogans.
Anyway, I’d love to see what your aggressive resting looks like.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking our work makes us worthy, and maybe some of us only think it at a subconscious level but, nonetheless, the fear of inadequacy drives us to press onward despite our stress. We’ve given into the deception that our efforts will make us worth something, when actually rest replenishes us and gives us time to gain perspective so that not only will we be productive, but we’ll be making a significant difference with a deep life-affirming purpose, knowing that–even if we fail–our worth will remain.
Fear of inadequacy. Good one. Thanks Leah.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking our work makes us worthy, and maybe some of us only think it at a subconscious level but, nonetheless, the fear of inadequacy drives us to press onward despite our stress. We’ve given into the deception that our efforts will make us worth something, when actually rest replenishes us and gives us time to gain perspective so that not only will we be productive, but we’ll be making a significant difference with a deep life-affirming purpose, knowing that–even if we fail–our worth will remain.
Fear of inadequacy. Good one. Thanks Leah.
Doing a 40-hour gig that is not directly related to one’s passionate pursuit of life goals–this changes the definition of any “rest” that can happen during every hour/day that is not a part of the 40-hour obligation.
In the off-time (weekend?), pursuit of one’s passion, or life goal—even if it involves more work of a different kind–may actually prove to be restful, or restorative, cathartic.
Thus, passionate pursuit of life-goal on weekends or whatever becomes recreation, when compared to the drudgery of the day job (don’t quit your day job). It is really “rest” instead of work, and can be justified, even fully enjoyed.
My experience is that a full weekend of personal creative work may prove more refreshing than anything else that could have been done, for instance lounging around doing nothing. Certainly not watching tv, the opiate of the masses! Unless of course its taking out a few hours to watch LSU steal a heartbreaker from Alabama. Ha! Geaux Tigers! I’m a ’73 LSU graduate.
Bottom line: God approves my writing on Sunday. In fact, He helps me quite a bit with it, on this first day of the week in which my night-sleep and power-naps are enjoyed on my own as-required schedule instead of somebody else’s.
Grace to you, Joe et al, on this sunny autumn Sunday. Write on! if it floats your boat.
Nice, Carey. It’s interesting. I’ve never noticed recreation is really re-creation. Thanks for pointing that out so beautifully. I think you get to the heart of what rest is.
Doing a 40-hour gig that is not directly related to one’s passionate pursuit of life goals–this changes the definition of any “rest” that can happen during every hour/day that is not a part of the 40-hour obligation.
In the off-time (weekend?), pursuit of one’s passion, or life goal—even if it involves more work of a different kind–may actually prove to be restful, or restorative, cathartic.
Thus, passionate pursuit of life-goal on weekends or whatever becomes recreation, when compared to the drudgery of the day job (don’t quit your day job). It is really “rest” instead of work, and can be justified, even fully enjoyed.
My experience is that a full weekend of personal creative work may prove more refreshing than anything else that could have been done, for instance lounging around doing nothing. Certainly not watching tv, the opiate of the masses! Unless of course its taking out a few hours to watch LSU steal a heartbreaker from Alabama. Ha! Geaux Tigers! I’m a ’73 LSU graduate.
Bottom line: God approves my writing on Sunday. In fact, He helps me quite a bit with it, on this first day of the week in which my night-sleep and power-naps are enjoyed on my own as-required schedule instead of somebody else’s.
Grace to you, Joe et al, on this sunny autumn Sunday. Write on! if it floats your boat.
Nice, Carey. It’s interesting. I’ve never noticed recreation is really re-creation. Thanks for pointing that out so beautifully. I think you get to the heart of what rest is.
Having been raised by a Type A mother who believed that if you weren’t constantly moving and productive you weren’t doing everything you could for the good of hearth and home, I find it hard not to think of myself as worthless and lazy if I stop to take a rest. However, in retirement I’m learning to enjoy taking a day here and there to just sit back and read, and fill in the spaces of that time with a good nap.
That sounds wonderful, Sherrey.
I think a good work ethic is great. Good rest requires good work to have been done. But you got to have a day.
Having been raised by a Type A mother who believed that if you weren’t constantly moving and productive you weren’t doing everything you could for the good of hearth and home, I find it hard not to think of myself as worthless and lazy if I stop to take a rest. However, in retirement I’m learning to enjoy taking a day here and there to just sit back and read, and fill in the spaces of that time with a good nap.
That sounds wonderful, Sherrey.
I think a good work ethic is great. Good rest requires good work to have been done. But you got to have a day.
When I was younger I never wanted to be alone with myself. I would carry stacks of books or busywork with me everywhere I went, to make sure that if I had any empty time, I could fill it with doing something. It took me a long long time to learn to love time with myself and let it be empty–although sometimes it felt like I needed to work to make it be empty.
Now (post 60) I find it hard to rest because life is so darn exciting. Thoughts tap me on the shoulder when I am resting and I just want to get up and write them down or work on them. There is so much more that I want to write and so many things I want to be involved in, and, frankly, I see the end of my life approaching all too fast.
This is a beautiful little comment, Lori.
Don’t we all have this fear in some fashion. There is so much to do and so little time, where the lack is caused by number of hours left in a day or years left in a life. The gift of rest, I think, says that there never was a lack. You have all that is required to be satisfied and content right here, right now.
Still, it’s easier said than done. Thanks for sharing your struggle.
When I was younger I never wanted to be alone with myself. I would carry stacks of books or busywork with me everywhere I went, to make sure that if I had any empty time, I could fill it with doing something. It took me a long long time to learn to love time with myself and let it be empty–although sometimes it felt like I needed to work to make it be empty.
Now (post 60) I find it hard to rest because life is so darn exciting. Thoughts tap me on the shoulder when I am resting and I just want to get up and write them down or work on them. There is so much more that I want to write and so many things I want to be involved in, and, frankly, I see the end of my life approaching all too fast.
This is a beautiful little comment, Lori.
Don’t we all have this fear in some fashion. There is so much to do and so little time, where the lack is caused by number of hours left in a day or years left in a life. The gift of rest, I think, says that there never was a lack. You have all that is required to be satisfied and content right here, right now.
Still, it’s easier said than done. Thanks for sharing your struggle.
When I was writing a guest post for Start Your Novel, one of my tips was to get some rest. Then I crossed it out! It’s so true though, you need downtime to let ideas percolate. And true that we find it hard to do.
Interesting. Why did you cross it out? Were you worried people wouldn’t take it seriously?
When I was writing a guest post for Start Your Novel, one of my tips was to get some rest. Then I crossed it out! It’s so true though, you need downtime to let ideas percolate. And true that we find it hard to do.
Interesting. Why did you cross it out? Were you worried people wouldn’t take it seriously?
Resting… It’s a nice concept, and one that I do seek and sometimes accomplish. I have a full time job, two active teenage boys, a busy husband, and my other two passions, visual and written art. I try to fit all of these things in a 24 hour period daily. I also try to get reading in on a daily basis, to wind down. I used to wish I was a vampire so I didn’t have to sleep, that hasn’t happened yet. So, like everyone else, I am always seeking balance. I do try to rest at least 24 hours each week as well, it helps, but I often feel guilty for wasting such precious free time!
Resting… It’s a nice concept, and one that I do seek and sometimes accomplish. I have a full time job, two active teenage boys, a busy husband, and my other two passions, visual and written art. I try to fit all of these things in a 24 hour period daily. I also try to get reading in on a daily basis, to wind down. I used to wish I was a vampire so I didn’t have to sleep, that hasn’t happened yet. So, like everyone else, I am always seeking balance. I do try to rest at least 24 hours each week as well, it helps, but I often feel guilty for wasting such precious free time!
I’ve been resting all my life. I’m tired of it.